My (26F) fiancé (30M) wants my help buying a new car after wrecking his old one. Dad (46M) says not to. Listen to Dad or help fiancé?

A woman (26F) is torn between helping her fiancé (30M) buy a new car after he totaled his previous one and listening to her father’s advice. Her fiancé, due to his bad credit, asked her to cosign a loan, but her dad warned her about the risks to her credit.

After taking some time to think, her fiancé impulsively went ahead and bought a new car on his own, without consulting her, leading to feelings of betrayal and frustration. She now wonders if she should continue helping him or if his actions show deeper issues in their relationship. Read the full story below.

‘ My (26F) fiancé (30M) wants my help buying a new car after wrecking his old one. Dad (46M) says not to. Listen to Dad or help fiancé?’

Fiancé was in a car accident recently. He’s fine, but his car is totaled. Mechanic said there’s no way to fix it. Fiancé needs a car for work, so he’s been looking into car loans. Over dinner, he told me that, due to his bad credit, he can’t get a good loan. I have a high credit score, so he asked if I’d be willing to cosign the loan with him.

Caught me off guard, so I told him to give me a few days to think about it. Called my dad for advice. He said that he thinks it’s a bad idea since if my fiancé doesn’t pay on time, they’ll come after me, and it’ll ruin my credit. I’m on the fence. I want to help, but I can’t ignore my father’s logic. Do I cosign the loan or listen to my Dad?.

**EDIT** I didn’t know how to update, but something serious happened. The morning after I made this post, Fiancé went out and bought a new car. I was at the mall around noon when he messaged me saying he went ahead and got a car. I was stunned. We started talking.

He said he felt bad putting me in that position so he decided to get what loan he could and bought a car with it. I can 100% say I have never been so angry with him. I’m happy I don’t have to worry about cosigning anymore, but I feel betrayed.

We agreed to wait 3 days before making a decision, but he just went ahead and did this without saying anything to me. That’s always been my biggest complaint with him, his impulsiveness. He just jumps right into anything without thinking. Another thing I’m angry about is the actual car.

Instead of going to a small shop and getting a cheap used car, he went to a big dealership. He didn’t get a brand new car, but it’s way fancier than what he needs. The loan is also about $23,000.

I told him to not talk to me and give me a few days to think. I’m just so frustrated. Why couldn’t he just tell me that he didn’t want me to cosign a loan with him? Why didn’t he involve me with buying the car? We’re getting married, so I’d like to be part of these decisions.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

HatsAndTopcoats −  The bank doesn’t want to give him a loan, why should you?

anglflw −  It is a massively bad idea. There are ways for people with bad credit to buy a car besides having their girlfriend’s cosign. Also, if his credit is so bad he can’t get a car loan, you may want to push back the wedding on the condition he get his credit score up to an acceptable level if you all want to live together after marriage in a place of your own.

cassowary32 −  Are you willing to write a check and hand it to your fiancé to buy the car with no recourse if he disappears on you? That’s basically what you’ll be doing if you co-sign the loan. I’m guessing by the fact that insurance isn’t helping him replace his car that your fiancé is at fault?

And given your dad’s reluctance and your fiancé’s bad credit, is this one more s**ew up in a never ending series of s**ew ups by your fiancé? Has your fiancé done anything to improve his credit or is he going to take you down with him if you get married? Your fiancé needs to get a beater for cash and figure out his credit before you get married.

bippityboppitynope −  NOOOOOOOOO. JFC. NOOOOOOOOO.. NEVER F**KING DO THIS.

BigBink735 −  I would not co-sign, I once co-signed for my own mother and she kept paying late. I wanted to buy a house but her car payment made my credit ratio only qualify for houses I did not want. I can’t believe he asked you that. Why is his credit so bad? Do you know? The truth of that question matters

UsuallyWrite2 −  Nope. He has poor credit for a reason. Don’t let him drag you down too. He can do a high interest loan like through capital one auto and pay it off early and reestablish his credit.

DustyOwl32 −  Do not f**king do that. Bad credit and he totalled his car at 30.. Dad has the right idea.

henicorina −  You can help him research options, or you can help him by giving him rides to work, or you can buy him a bicycle. Absolutely do not cosign a car loan.

Holiday_Horse3100 −  You are not a bank or a loan company. If you break up if he quits paying or makes late payments you are screwed. Listen to your dad-do not do it.

MMAntwoord −  So he totalled his car and has bad credit?? Absolutely not! I agree, he has bad credit for a reason. Don’t let his irresponsibility rub off on you! 

Is this an issue of financial responsibility or a deeper relationship problem? How would you feel if your partner made such a big decision without consulting you? Share your thoughts below!