My (26F) fiancé (27M) left me for his “one that got away” four years ago. They’ve divorced and he wants to get back together.

A Reddit user (26F) was left heartbroken when her fiancé (27M) chose to pursue his high school sweetheart, and they quickly married and had children. After their divorce, the ex-fiancé reached out, expressing regret and asking for a second chance.

Although the user had once considered him “the one who got away,” she is now seeing someone new and unsure whether it’s worth revisiting her past. She seeks advice on whether to give her ex another shot or move forward with her current potential relationship. Read the full story below.

‘ My (26F) fiancé (27M) left me for his “one that got away” four years ago. They’ve divorced and he wants to get back together.’

My fiancé broke our engagement off when his high school girlfriend moved to our city. They quickly got engaged, married and had a baby before it had even been a year. I was so blindsided and hurt, I don’t think I ever really got over my ex which is why I’m making this post to get some outside insight.

My ex reached out a few days ago to “catch up”. He claimed he regretted breaking up with me two months after he did but because his ex-wife was pregnant at the time, he felt he owed it to his son to try and make it work.

He said their relationship quickly fell apart when he realized his ex wasn’t looking for a life partner but someone to financially support her. He said the financial issues is what finally led to their divorce. They’ve been divorced for 6 months and have two children together. According to him, his ex regularly tries to get back together with him, but he doesn’t want her.

He ended up asking me if I was willing to give him a second chance. In some ways, my ex has become my “one who got away” and I probably would’ve jumped at the chance to get back with him a few months ago.

However, I’ve recently been talking to this guy and whilst we aren’t official or anything, we did go on a date two weeks ago which went really well. I feel like it could progress into something good and I don’t know if my ex is worth losing it over. I’d appreciate any advice on what to do in this situation.

TL;DR – My ex left me for his “one that got away”. Four years and two kids later, they’re now divorced. My ex claims he regretted leaving me two months after he did but felt like he had to stay for the sake of his unborn child. He now wants a second chance, but I’ve met someone knew who seems like a great person. I don’t know what to do.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

freethis −  He’s the same guy who dumped you cold after asking you to marry him, except with more baggage and some other woman’s baby. HARD PASS.

[Reddit User] −  No.

Gryffindor_prefect −  Sis you were never his first choice . He didn’t even hesitate to break your engagement , trust and heart for an ex of high school but now that it didn’t work out he wants you back ? You’re not anybody’s B plan .. Don’t let him ruin your progress .

lazers-to-stun −  Ironically, it seems like you’re the one that got away now. Do you really want to be with someone who’s willing to leave you for someone else at the drop of a hat? Even if what you have with the new guy falls through, it’s still better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn’t value you.

[Reddit User] −  He stayed for the so-called sake of his unborn child? Awesome. How did he end up with baby number 2? This is a man who is using his kids and his wife’s faults as a way to get back into your life. It sounds like you are feeling sorry for him and excusing his actions. The way he is talking to you about his ex is the same he talked to his ex about you. I would stay away from him, but that’s just my two cents.

[Reddit User] −  He wants you to help support him and pay his child support. Tell him see ya.

RealAbstractSquidII −  The only reason hes asking for you back *now* is because the girl he *wanted* and left you for, turned out to be someone he couldn’t stand long term. Now *suddenly*, 4 years, a divorce, and 2 kids later he regretted leaving the first two months in? He *had to stick it out* for his kid? So, he and the girl he left you for were having a kid after 2 months? Doesnt seem like a whole lotta regret.

No. He stayed because he *thought* the grass was greener on the other side. Then it turned out that the grass was, in fact, not greener and he was taken for a sucker. Now he thinks the grass is greener on *your* side. And in a few months time when something shiny and new catches his eye suddenly *that* grass will look greener. And so on and so on.

Dont waste your time on this guy. He left you high and dry after *proposing*. Whats stopping him from doing it again? What’s stopping him from doing it on the wedding day? Are you ever *really* going to feel secure in a relationship with him? Not likely. A part of you is always going to be walking on eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop.

A new ex fling is gonna move to town, a new woman is hired at his job, the waitress at your date was a tall blonde, etc. Every new person he interacts with is going to result in worry and insecurity. Your not going to feel stable or secure in this relationship. Probably ever. Because he ditched you during the engagement. Thats usually the part where people are feeling pretty secure in the relationship. Because the literal next step is legally binding.

Not to mention- he has two kids now. The mother isn’t going to randomly say “hey OP, You and my ex husband make much better parents! Heres my children. I’m going to never see or speak to them again. Please raise them with love for me”. The mother and your ex are going to have to co parent unless one or both are found legally incompetent/unfit to be parents.

So on top of the existing insecurity, your ex and his ex wife will *have* to be in contact until those kids are 18 at the very least. And considering parents that love their kids don’t just drop them once they turn 18- she would (assuming she’s a good parent) be a permanent fixture in your life.

Because those are her kids. So you will be faced with the fact that your partner is in permenant contact with the ex he left you for once already. Go explore things with this new person. You already know the grass where your ex is standing has burn spots from neighborhood dogs.

[Reddit User] −  I am going to be the blunt: If you would take him back you would be the one that lost her god damn mind.

RedHeadFire89 −  I would not trust home after that. He blew you off once like it was nothing, and he could do it again. He “didn’t get away from you”, you dodged a bullet.

moobnoob69 −  He’s doing it because he doesn’t have many options on the table and you seem like the most convenient.

What would you do if your past love came back into the picture? Would you consider rekindling an old flame, or would you move forward with something new? Share your thoughts below!