My (26f) fiance (26m) isn’t planning on voting for the US Presidential elections. I am having a moral crisis. Is ending our engagement over this dramatic?

A woman is struggling with her fiancé’s decision not to vote in the upcoming election, despite their shared frustrations with the two-party system. While she understands his perspective, she feels deeply unsettled by his apathy, especially given the potential impact on women’s rights in Florida.

This issue has created a rift between them, leading her to contemplate whether it’s a dealbreaker for their relationship. With their wedding just four months away, she’s unsure if her fiancé’s stance reflects a fundamental difference in their values and responsibilities.

‘ My (26f) fiance (26m) isn’t planning on voting for the US Presidential elections. I am having a moral crisis. Is ending our engagement over this dramatic? ‘

My fiancé isn’t planning on voting in the upcoming election. His argument is that “both candidates suck,” and he’s generally very frustrated with the two-party system. I totally get his point; the two-party system is flawed, and it’s a problem that affects the political landscape in many ways.

But the reality is that we’re stuck in it for now, and the best we can do is make the most of the situation. We have the power to vote, and we can use that power to support the candidate whose values align most closely with our own. As a woman living in Florida, I am terrified of what the future might look like if we don’t act.

The potential for even more restrictions on our rights weighs heavily on me. The idea of my rights, especially as a woman, being further limited is deeply unsettling. I feel like I have a responsibility to not just sit back and let things happen; I want to take a stand, and voting is a fundamental part of that.

It’s not just about supporting a candidate—it’s about showing that I care about the direction our country is headed, especially on issues that directly impact me and my community. Here’s the thing though: I’ve always respected my fiancé’s perspective, and I thought we shared a lot of the same political views.

We’ve talked about our frustrations with the system, and we’ve agreed that there’s a lot wrong with it. We’ve even discussed how neither party seems to represent us fully. But when it comes to actually voting, he’s so nonchalant about skipping this election. It’s the first time I’ve really felt a disconnect between us on a core issue that I can’t ignore.

We’re getting married in 4 months, and this is the only thing that has ever made me seriously doubt our relationship. I don’t understand why he’s willing to sit this out, especially when the stakes feel so high. Our political views are pretty similar overall, so it’s frustrating to me that he’s taking this stance.

It feels like he’s giving up on the system entirely, when I still believe that voting, even within a broken system, is a way to make a difference—however small it may seem. I’ve been thinking about giving him an ultimatum, which honestly feels horrible. I never imagined I’d get to this point, but I feel like if he doesn’t vote,

I can’t marry him with a clear conscience. I can’t commit to a future with someone who isn’t willing to take action on something that feels so important to me. Is it wrong to tell him that if he doesn’t vote, I don’t think I can be with him?

I never thought politics would come between us, but I can’t shake this feeling that this issue is a reflection of something deeper. It feels like a fundamental difference in how we see the world and our responsibility to it.

I really don’t want to make an ultimatum, but I also feel like I have no other choice at this point. This is a pivotal moment for me, and I’m scared that if we don’t take this seriously, it’ll be a sign of how we handle other important issues in our future. Am I overreacting, or is this a dealbreaker for me?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

stellastellamaris −  You don’t control his actions, behaviours, or choices – only your own. If it is this important to you to be with someone who votes and he does not want to vote, then you should break up with him. (If he did vote, and voted in the opposite way to you, would that be OK, since at least he voted?) You are allowed to end a relationship for any reason you want.

common_economics_69 −  9 months ago you were pissed off at him for having a proposal you didn’t like. Apparently this guy was also cheating on you before this? Or you started dating this new guy like a year before he proposed.

This screams that you’re looking for a reason to break up with him and it sounds like you’re kind of reaching for an out before going any further. Not sure how cheating was totally fine, but THIS is what finally gets you to breakup with him haha.

BeltalowdaOPA22 −  Have you asked him why he thinks that Harris sucks? Because I don’t think your politics align as well as you think they do.

RickRussellTX −  You can leave for any reason you want.

BridgeFourArmy −  This is an awful idea. If you don’t share core values then break up. You can explain why it’s important to you but you can’t change him.

Fun_Orange_3232 −  It doesn’t even have to be an ultimatum. Your values don’t align, so you don’t want to be with him. No harm no foul.

thecreat0r −  But if he votes, and doesn’t vote for your preferred candidate, would you be equally upset and still not marry him?

nomasslurpee −  You do realize that once in the voting booth, he can vote whatever he chooses and you’d have no real way of knowing? My dad foolishly writes in Mickey Mouse or some other b**lshit when he votes. He still goes and gets his sticker.

Your ultimatum could have multiple reactions—Drive him to throw away his vote or worse, drive him to vote for the opposite of your beliefs. Maybe he does take it seriously and votes the way you want him to, but people rarely respond well to ultimatums.

I think you need to determine whether this is a dealbreaker for you. I think there are many Americans who feel similar to him, but if your politics are important to you, as it seems they are, then it’s likely important to find someone who feels similarly. I think it’s time to do some soul searching.

midnightdrinking −  What if he was going to vote and not the same as you, would you also give him an ultimatum to not vote because it’s not what you want?