My (26F) Coworker Found My Boyfriend (27M) On Tinder And He Swears Up And Down He Doesn’t Use It

A Reddit user (26F) shares her confusion and hurt after discovering that her boyfriend (27M) might still be using Tinder, despite claiming he hadn’t used the app in nearly a year. A coworker of the user found his profile with a photo from November, three months after they began dating exclusively.

Although the boyfriend insists that he hasn’t been active on Tinder, and that the picture was from before they met, the situation leaves the user feeling betrayed and unsure of whether to trust him. She’s torn between hearing him out or ending the relationship, as she’s never had doubts about his commitment until now.

‘ My (26F) Coworker Found My Boyfriend (27M) On Tinder And He Swears Up And Down He Doesn’t Use It’

I’m going to try to make this short and sweet. I met my boyfriend (27M) 11 months ago and we’ve ‘officially’ dating since December (we were exclusive before, but never had the conversation). I just moved to a new city last week and I work at a coffee shop. My boyfriend stayed at mine last night, so he dropped me off at work before his gig today.

I made him a brew, he stayed a bit to chat, and then he left. A bit later, one of my favourite coworkers pulled me aside and said she’d seen my boyfriend on tinder a little bit ago. I thought she was absolutely mental. My boyfriend looks like a cuter version of Ed Sheeran, so it’s not really uncommon for people to think they know him or make comments and whatnot.

I wasn’t really bothered by it. However, I got off text off her tonight with a screenshot of my boyfriend’s tinder profile. The main picture was from November, so about three months after we met. Her flatmate had apparently just broken up with her ex and they were making her a new profile — of course, my bf was one of the first to pop up.

I don’t use tinder and I don’t know what that means, but I don’t think it’s good. I sent my boyfriend the screenshot and he said he hadn’t used it in ‘nearly a year’, so I guess that could be true if you count November as nearly a year. I honestly wouldn’t be *that* upset if he was using it November, but he swore up and down that the picture was from before we met and that he doesn’t have it on his phone.

The picture was definitely from November, but that’s beside the point anyways, I’m upset that he’s active on tinder and lying to my face about it. He pretty much dismissed my concerns and said he was going back to bed. In his defence, it was quite late when we’ve chatted and we’ve had a long weekend so I understand a bit.

I don’t really know where I’m at right now. Betrayed. Confused. Embarrassed. Is it at all possible that he isn’t active on tinder? Should I d**p him? Hear him out? I completely trusted him before now and I don’t know where my head is at.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

arbitrarysocks −  I don’t think you can show up on tinder if you aren’t actively using the app. I mean you might if the last time you were on it was like 3 days ago, but not a year as far as I know.

[Reddit User] −  Everyone is right on this. You don’t show up unless you’re actively using the app and since it was a recent photo, that’s even more obvious. Unless he came forward and he straight up admitted, “yeah I downloaded it with my buddy and showed him what it’s like and must have forgotten to delete it.” He is probably lying to you. Downloading tinder doesn’t mean he’s 100% cheating, but if he’s lying, which he clearly is, he is probably cheating/trying to.

SpyderFoode −  You are 100% certain the photo is from after you started dating. Which means you are 100% certain your boyfriend is lying to your face. Which means you should be 100% dumping his lying ass

Jilltro −  You believe yourself. You know the photo was from November and you know he’s lying. What you do with that info is up to you.

0biterdicta −  Now technically, deleting Tindr does not delete your account. However, your boyfriend is using a picture from after you started dating and lying to you. At best he’s trying to down play 3-4 months of possible cheating [were you two exclusive then?], at worst he continued to cheat for a long time. I’d be reconsidering the relationship certainly. And if you’d like to make it work, he will need to earn back your trust.

Izzypop9 −  Does 11 pm roll around and you start lying because you’re tired?. I think not.

Haku7014 −  Bit of a long shot here. But are the profile pics on his tinder also on Facebook? If they are, it’s possible that he is the victim of a scambot program. It happened to me, where a botting software took some of my profile pictures and made a fake tinder acct,

so it could say s**t like “hey check out my live stream webcam” and the like to the people I “matched” with. I had no idea about it until a girl I had been talking too off of tinder told me.

dcblunted −  My married friend had the horrible experience of her photos being stolen and used on Tinder. They didn’t use her name, but stole a good 5 of her public profile pictures. Multiple friends saw the fake catfish accounts. Is it possible that’s happened in this situation?

[Reddit User] −  lol. your boyfriend is lying to you.

user1022020X8 −  Same thing happened to me, and all that time he was talking sweet to me, even called me a “queen.” He is going through a divorce from a nutty woman, by the way, and he came back to me after he decided that he’d made a mistake in dropping me.

A month later, after noticing he was on Tinder (I had a feeling, so I opened mine to make sure it was disabled, and then deleted it), I called him out on it, and he became distant, indignant, and indifferent about it. He said, “What’s it to you?” The best you can do is decide whether or not you can trust him. If he showed up so soon, that means he’s been on there recently.