My (26F) boyfriend (36M) has started acting distant and ghosting me after meeting my parents (49M and 50F) last week, how do I reach out to him?
A woman (26F) faces confusion and heartache as her boyfriend (36M) begins acting distant and unresponsive after meeting her parents for the first time.
What started as an anticipated bonding moment turned into an awkward dinner, a hasty exit, and unexpected silence. She’s unsure whether to give him space or reach out for clarity. Read the full story below.
‘ My (26F) boyfriend (36M) has started acting distant and ghosting me after meeting my parents (49M and 50F) last week, how do I reach out to him? ‘
My boyfriend Derek (fake name) and I met through mutual friends 6 months ago and we immediately hit it off. He is sweet, funny, kind and just generally a good guy, he is super extroverted and I have never seen him dislike or not click with anyone. I mentioned him to my parents a couple times and they said they were excited to meet him.
My parents live a road trip away so me and Derek had to book a hotel nearby. About two weeks ago we dropped all of our stuff in the hotel and arrived at my parents house, My parents are the most welcoming people you’ll ever meet, they have met some of my past significant others in the past and have always been warm and kind.
Since both my parents and Derek are charismatic and welcoming I thought that dinner would go smoothly, but I was wrong. It didn’t start off too bad, my parents and Derek seemed a bit awkward but I assumed he was just nervous.
We sat for dinner and my parents asked us a couple questions, how did we meet, how serious is the relationship, etc etc. Ive never seen Derek stutter or hesitate before this dinner but he did. As soon as I finished eating he thanked my parents for dinner and said we had to go, it felt like he was rushing to get out of the house.
When we got to the hotel room he ran to the bathroom and I heard him throw up. He said he felt sick and he was going to head back home but he insisted I stayed and enjoyed the rest of the trip without him. I agreed since I really missed my parents and he seemed to want to be alone.
I texted him a couple times asking how he was doing/if he felt better but he didn’t reply, after two days passed I started to get really worried that maybe he was really sick and had to go to the hospital or something so I cut the trip short and headed back home.
I went to his apartment and saw he was okay, I asked him how he was doing and why he wasn’t replying and he said he felt fine and that I was overreacting, he told me he still felt sick and he wanted to be alone.
I went back home and texted him asking if I did anything wrong and if our relationship was okay since he was acting so weird and cold, a week has gone by since the text message and he has not replied.
Derek is the last person I’d expect to ghost me. I’m torn between wanting to give him space and wanting answers. How do I even reach out to him without pushing him further away?
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
razzledazzle626 − Ask your parents. It sounds like they know each other or something happened that you didn’t see or something like that.
airaqua − It didn’t start off too bad, my parents and Derek seemed a bit awkward but I assumed he was just nervous. We sat for dinner and my parents asked us a couple questions, how did we meet, how serious is the relationship, etc etc. Ive never seen Derek stutter or hesitate before this dinner but he did.
Have you asked your parents too why things were awkward? Has your bf met your parents before? (I mean, given this is reddit, it wouldn’t be unthinkable for you to suddenly figure out that your parents are swingers/have an open relationship and they were involved with your bf in the past xD)
kellyvcombs − How do I even reach out to him without pushing him further away? There really isn’t a “further away” than what’s happening now. There are two options you could take, depending on how badly you want answers:
1. Go to his apartment again and tell him that you need him to tell you to your face why he isn’t responding to you. 2. Send him a text saying “I haven’t heard from you for a week and at this point I’m going to assume the relationship is over.
I’m extremely disappointed by you not being honest and upfront with me and I thought that there was more respect between us than this.” Unfortunately this is the torturous part about ghosting, the lack of answers.
Bucketsdntlie − Your boyfriend’s age definitely makes it possible that he may have had a prior “run-in” with one or both of your parents.
Maybe it was s**ual, maybe it wasn’t,
but the way you describe it definitely feels like your boyfriend saw one or both of your parents and the first thing that went through his head was “I have to get the f**k out of here and never look back”.
PopeGnomeyTheFirst − I’m going with “prior affair” or “realized they’re somehow related.”
notryksjustme − It sounds like he knows one of your parents and was hiding it during dinner. That’s why he threw up. So one or both of your parents may know him in an intimate way.
You need to find out what is going on. You say he is welcoming and charismatic and so are your parents but they all acted awkward so there is much more to this story.. UPDATEME!
OkSecretary1231 − All this s**ual speculation, and I’m wondering if he destroyed the parents’ bathroom and is too embarrassed to see any of them again.
notryksjustme − Send him a message and your parents a message. Mention the awkwardness and his sickness and ghosting. Say you have talked with the other ones and would like to hear their side of the story. See what happens.
OkLocksmith2064 − so either he fucked your mother – or your father.
Captainunderestimate − I have never needed an update so bad.
Meeting the parents can be a pivotal moment in a relationship, but Derek’s abrupt change in behavior raises questions. Should she give him the time he seems to need, or is a direct conversation necessary to address his sudden coldness? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below.
For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/BoGZX