My (25M) girlfriend (25F) has given up on her career after I became a millionaire. How do I tell her this won’t work out?

A man is grappling with the changes in his girlfriend’s behavior since he became a millionaire. Initially supporting her career ambitions, he now feels conflicted after Kylie quit her job and expressed a desire to be a stay-at-home wife.

His offer to support her nursing education was met with hesitation, and her increased spending habits have raised concerns. Though he still loves her, he’s unsure how to address the shift in her priorities and how it affects their future together.

‘ My (25M) girlfriend (25F) has given up on her career after I became a millionaire. How do I tell her this won’t work out?’

Backstory I met my girlfriend Kylie (fake name) in community college 7 years ago. We became really close friends and started dating 2 years later. At the time she wanted to be a nurse which was great. She was really passionate about it, and I fully supported her.

I ended up transferring to a 4 year university and earning my MBA. Kylie supported me emotionally the entire time through school which I’m grateful for. Kylie’s parents ended up cutting her off financially, because of her spending habits. She ended up taking a year off to work to help her with her bills.

In the meantime I invested all my savings, time, and energy into a startup platform with my best friend in the automotive industry. Earlier this year we were bought out for a life changing amount of money. We were both kept on as consultants with a high paying salary as well.

Kylie had kept her job at the jewelry store this entire time. After the buyout she told me she was handing her 2 weeks in. I offered to pay for her school and expenses. At first she was excited to go back and earn her nursing degree.

I ended up purchasing a condo for us to live in (big step up from our apartment) close to her school. Over the weekend we were talking, and she threw out the fact that she wasn’t sure about wanting to go back to school, and that she could be a stay at home wife (we’re not married).

I didn’t say anything in the moment because I wasn’t sure on how to respond. Part of what attracted me to her in the first place was her ambition. It just doesn’t sit right with me that she quit her job and career goals after I came into money. Her shopping/spending has also gone up.

She’s been looking at new cars. I could be overreacting, but something just doesn’t seem right. I still love her and want it to work out, but I don’t like this new side of her I’m seeing.. Thanks in advance

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

coastalkid92 −  Not sure what kind of advice you want here. It’s pretty easy to tell her that you never wanted a stay at home spouse, you want a partner that’s also contributing to the household and that you really valued her ambition toward having her own career and independence.

You need to have a really frank discussion that as of right now, your assets are not shared wealth. That you’re happy to help her go back to school, but that you intend for your lifestyle to be whatever and that you intend to invest further into your future.

sherrysimp −  Now you see why her parents cut her off financially. She’s a mooch. Sit her down and explain that you are willing to to pay the basics and only if she goes back to school But you will not be paying for anything more and she need to continue to work. After all this time school should have been finished.

MagicaLPrimuS −  She all of the sudden sees your money as her money. U need to explain to her that you aren’t gonna fund her life and she needs to be an adult and earn her own living.

venttress_sd −  My sister is this way. She’s 35 now and hasn’t worked in over a decade. Hey husband works 12 to 16 hour days and then comes home to do all the chores because my sister is too tired from pilates and shopping to do chores. Poor guy.

Don’t be in relationships with gold diggers. This will be your future. Edit: also you should not date people who run other people over with their cars. Holy burying the lede, Batman!!

ForkFace69 −  Bruh she’s got the track record of pissing money away and she’s demonstrating that she plans to p**s away your money in real time. Bail immediately before you get baby trapped because that’s the next step.

Cardabella −  A million isn’t enough for a family to live on in luxury without working. Op you need to tell her that changes in plans need discussion. You bought a condo to support her career and now she says she doesn’t have ambition you’re not sure who she is. Your whole windfall isn’t shared wealth.

It is intended to last you singular your lifetime and within that you will share what you allocate to each passing month and year you’re sailing through life together. but you don’t want a trophy gf. You see this kind of funds as allowing you to choose to dollow a dream career not to freeload and fritter it all away without purpose. You need to talk about it.

MizzyvonMuffling −  Run for the hills and please use protection. She’ll try and trap you. She’s waving a zillion red flags.

JellicoAlpha_3_1 −  I think you just break up. I’m gonna be honest. She quit her job the second you got that money, and has already started acting like all she has to do for the rest of her life is shop and hang out No matter what you say or do, she will resent if you tell her she has to work or break up.

She will decry that you are toxic and controlling. I’d just tell her the relationship isn’t working. That her drive and ambition is what attracted you to her and that her wanting to be a stay at home wife is not the kind of partner you want in life.

Of course she will cry and scream and tell you she will go back to school. But it will be under duress. Look my dude When her parents cut her off because of her spending, you should have RAN as fast as your feet would carry you. This is not a long term partner. She will bleed you dry if you stick around

iveseenthelight −  I’m prepared to get down voted for this, but if you do get married make sure you get a cast iron pre-nup in place, otherwise what’s to say she won’t change her mind again in future.

Whatever happens in the future you need a serious conversation now, you tell her what you wrote here, that your love her, the reasons you fell in love with her, but this new side to her isn’t something you can deal with. Good luck!

Megmelons55 −  I think you just found out why her parents cut her off. Time to set boundaries with finances. If she sees that you won’t cut off her ATM, she won’t stop. Big spenders are always gonna be big spenders, you need to make sure to protect your wallet, so that she has to use her own money.