My [24F] sister [25F] and her bf [25M] are upset because my fiance [27M] proposed to me and have started shaming us on social media.

A 24-year-old woman is caught in a family feud after her boyfriend’s heartfelt proposal was overshadowed by her sister’s boyfriend’s impulsive plan to propose at the same event. The couple now faces public shaming on social media and strained family relationships, leaving them unsure how to proceed. Read the full story below.

‘ My [24F] sister [25F] and her bf [25M] are upset because my fiance [27M] proposed to me and have started shaming us on social media.’

My fiance: Charlie. My sister: Kendall. Kendall’s boyfriend: Jack. BACKGROUND INFO. Charlie and I have been together for six years and have lived together for three years. We met in college. Our relationship is awesome. I love him more than anything and I know he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. We’re best friends, we make a great team, and we’re really happy together. So no problems there.

Kendall and I have always been close. We’ve had normal sisterly arguments and whatnot, but I love her and she’s family. I don’t really know Jack that well, but he seemed like a nice guy (which obviously isn’t the case), and we’ve all gotten along until now. Kendall and Jack have been together for two years. Their relationship is rocky; Kendall has called me countless times because of fights, breakups, and drama. I’ve always been her shoulder to cry on and I’ve supported her through everything as best I can.

She has gotten jealous of my relationship with Charlie, saying things like she wishes she could have a “perfect” relationship like ours and she wishes she could have that connection with Jack. Recently (within the last two months), she’s started saying things like “I should just steal Charlie from you” and “I wish Jack was more like Charlie, I think Charlie and I would be a great match.” She started flirting with Charlie (which made him super uncomfortable) and overstepped boundaries.

I was uncomfortable and upset with her behavior, we had a serious talk and she broke down. She told me she was going through a rough patch with Jack and wasn’t handling it well. She apologized (to me and to Charlie) and told me she knew what she did was wrong, it wouldn’t happen again, etc. Charlie and I talked about it and we decided to forgive her.

At the time of the incident, Jack and Kendall were still going through a rough patch.. THE INCIDENT. Two weeks ago, Charlie invited close friends and family to dinner (this included Jack and Kendall). It was at the restaurant Charlie and I had our first date, down to the exact table we sat at. We had talked about marriage (at great length), so I had a feeling. Lo and behold, Charlie proposed to me. It was perfect, I was so happy. I cried like a baby, lol.

Our family and friends congratulated us. Kendall seemed super excited. She gushed about how cute it was, started talking about the wedding, and hugged us both. The only person who didn’t seem happy for us was Jack. He told Kendall that he wanted to go home and they left early. Fast forward a few days. Kendall texted me and she was pissed. She called me “a dirty t**itor” and “a disgusting cunt.” I was like wtf??? I asked her why she was upset. She claimed I was trying to ruin her relationship and then stopped replying to my texts.

I texted Jack and asked him wtf was going on. He told me that he was planning to propose to Kendall at dinner. At first, I felt bad because maybe he had planned something beforehand and maybe it was just a huge misunderstanding. But apparently, Jack wasn’t even planning to propose to Kendall until we got to the restaurant.

He saw how nice the restaurant was, our friends and family were there, and decided “hey, this is perfect.” He thought it would help them out of their rough patch (which is a horrible idea because marriage doesn’t magically fix relationships), but then Charlie proposed and “stole his thunder.” He didn’t even have a ring!

Charlie had been planning that proposal for *months*. He’s had the ring for six months, made the reservations two months beforehand, invited all of our family and friends. Even the staff of the restaurant was in on the proposal! He put a lot of thought into it and I don’t think Jack’s heat of the moment decision to propose is more important than Charlie’s carefully planned proposal. I’m actually upset that Jack would make something this special and important into something dramatic and all about him.

I didn’t apologize. Charlie and I talked about it, he agrees and doesn’t think we should apologize.. THE AFTERMATH. Since then, Kendall and Jack haven’t talked to us. Which is fine by itself, but that’s not the end of it. Both of them have been shaming us on social media, twisting the story to make themselves look like victims, and have even coined us “The Proposal Thieves.”

Mutual friends (and even some family!) are disgusted with us. They believe Jack and Kendall’s story, even after I’ve tried to explain what really happened. As funny as it is to be called The Proposal Thieves, it’s not so funny to have friends and family turned against you. I’m really upset that my own sister would do this. Charlie has been super supportive and sweet through this mess. We both agree that we shouldn’t apologize and have been standing our ground.

Honestly, after everything Kendall has done, I’m pretty much fed up with her. She’s my sister and I love her, but after she tried to seduce my boyfriend and now this, I don’t really have a desire to talk to her anymore. Which sucks, because we’ve always been close. I think Jack has turned her into this horrible, self-absorbed person and it’s just.. ugh. Btw, I’m **not** talking to Kendall right now and have no plans to talk to her until we receive a sincere apology. Even then, I think I might limit contact if she stays with Jack.

What do you think, Reddit? What should we do? How should we handle this? Advice/perspective/anything??? TL;DR: Sister and bf are upset that we “upstaged them.” Spreading lies on social media. Everything is a mess, please help?

Check out how the community responded:

n4yhi7i5m −  I feel like Charlie should post something to the effect of “After 6 wonderful years together, I asked koumorinobi and all her friends and family to the restaurant where we had our very first date, and there, at the very table where we sat 6 years ago, I asked her to be my wife. A special thanks to the amazing waitstaff at the restaurant for helping me plan my perfect proposal! I couldn’t be happier,” this outlines that it was HIS proposal, and HIS planning and nips all other proposal thievery nonsense in the bud. Also, congratulations, you two sound like an amazing team!

enrichmentonly −  Write your version of the story. Post once, either on social media, or email the story to the friends that are upset. Emphasize the facts that:. * Charlie arranged the dinner. It was at your first date location down to the table.. * He’d planned this for months. Nobody’s proposal was stolen, as Jack had literally told no one of his plans. Mention that you are baffled at the way you are being portrayed. Your family that was present can obviously corroborate all of this.

Truth and sense have a way of cutting through all of the insane drama and lies that your sister is saying. You only have to say these things once. At which point, I think you should cut your sister and her boyfriend out of your lives and try to focus on your new life ahead. It’s sad that your sister is so focused on her own misery that she’s determined to destroy your happiness, but that’s reality right now. And considering that reality, she has no place in your life.

hecksyiss −  I will now re-enact for you what happened after they left the dinner. Kendall (either in real life, or in Jack’s imagination): “Wow, isn’t it great that Charlie proposed! I want to have a marriage like that” Jack realizes that the pressure is now on. Jack does not want to deal with the pressure. Jack does not want this fight or this problem. He wants to avoid the marriage convo entirely.

Jack: “Well..I was going to! They RUINED it. Now I can’t possibly propose to you, and it’s because of OTHER PEOPLE!” (aaand internal sigh of relief for Jack). Don’t apologize, give them time to cool down, and maybe when your sister is being more reasonable, suggest she talk to Jack about that incoming proposal she’s so excited about…you know, the one that’s totally happening. Uh huh.

Pola_Xray −  I texted Jack and asked him wtf was going on. He told me that he was planning to propose to Kendall at dinner. BULL. S**T. No way do I believe that he was going to propose that night. After all of their problems? Crikey. Go no contact with Kendall for the forseeable future. Try one more time with the really important people to clarify what happened, if they are feeding into the drama, they also go to the curb with the rest of the trash. Ignore all of them unless they come to you with a sincere apology. And don’t invite those fuckers to the wedding. Not even Kendall, unless she apologizes. She sounds like a piece of work.

livingflying −  “a disgusting cunt.” I’m sorry, I’m having trouble getting past this. Is this really the way your sister speaks to you?

canquilt −  Does Kendall understand that Charlie invited everyone and coordinated dinner? If Jack were planning to propose, I would have thought he would be spearheading the dinner. And, you know, have a ring. It sounds like Jack is feeding Kendall this story to get some heat off himself.

Perhaps it would be worth it to sit down with Jack and Kendall to clarify the situation and request that they set the record straight with friends and family. If they refuse, do it yourself on social media (gracefully), then block Kendall and Jack, go no contact, and enjoy your engagement.

Green7000 −  This is why I don’t recommend that people “take the high road” and not tell their side of the story. 9/10 times it lets the crazy person put out their story and people tend to believe the first story they are told. Write about how wonderful your proposal was and how much Charlie planned it and how happy your sister was. Then mention how baffled you are that people are accusing you and your fiance of stealing a proposal from a guy with no plan and no ring, and how sad you are at the number of people who are so eager to believe the worst about you two without getting your side of the story.

If anyone brings it up to you afterward point out how nice it is to see the true character of certain people before inviting someone to be in the bridal party or to the wedding. Have your parents say something similar and how sad it is that Kendall is spreading lies about you instead of being happy and how much that hurts a mother’s heart, etc. On that note, under no circumstances have your sister in your wedding party.

blackfish_xx −  Wow. The entitlement is staggering. Hell no you shouldn’t apologize. All you can do is reach out to your friends and family and let them know your side. You have several witnesses who can corroborate your story. If people still refuse to believe you, well, there you go. If hearsay is all it takes for them to turn on you, then they’re dicks. Your sister sounds incredibly selfish and insecure. What a n**case.

dripless_cactus −  Honestly I feel really sad and worried for your sister. Jack sounds like a total a**hole, and I’m concerned that there may be some flags for emotional abuse.. It definitely sounds like he’s trying to alienate Kendall from a relationship with you, and I’d beg you not to fall for it (that doesn’t mean apologizing or not maintaining strict boundaries though). Is it possible she will meet with you to talk about all this?

I’m not in anyway excusing her treatment of you which has been deplorable. But at the very least let her know that youre concerned because she’s not acting like herself and you love her and she can come to you if she “needs you” (code word = she breaks up with Jack). Then put some distance there until that time comes

iamjustjenna −  This reminds me of The Office, when Jim planned an expensive proposal under the fireworks for Pam, and Andy stole his thunder. Except in this case, “Jim” actually got to propose. Sounds to me like Kendall and Jack had an argument after dinner about their relationship and maybe Kendall compared it to yours. So Jack claimed he was going to propose that night in an attempt at damage control and threw Charlie under the bus in the meantime. What an a**hole. Also if he really did decide to do it last minute, how the f**k was Charlie supposed to know that?! Is Kendall that dimwitted?