My 23F boyfriend 26M wants to not celebrate Christmas with me, but instead focus on him and my sister’s birthdays. Is it weird that he wants to do this?

A young woman feels conflicted after her boyfriend expresses a desire to skip celebrating Christmas with her, citing financial reasons, while simultaneously planning to invest in celebrating her sister’s birthday.

He claims this is because he values the sibling relationship he missed growing up, but the girlfriend feels hurt and unsure how to navigate the situation. Is this behavior normal, or does it raise a red flag? Read on for the full context and advice.

‘ My 23F boyfriend 26M wants to not celebrate Christmas with me, but instead focus on him and my sister’s birthdays. Is it weird that he wants to do this?’

So today I called my boyfriend about how we were going to celebrate Christmas and what he wanted. He told me that because he feels he has spent a lot of money on me this year, he wants nothing and does not want to celebrate Christmas with me.

Then in the next breath, he told me that he was coming into town the next month and spending money on my sister’s birthday though since the both of them have a birthday literally a few days apart. He wants to take her out. He has met her twice. He does not have a biological sister.

He claims he is compensating for the lack of sisters he had growing up. He was adopted into and raised by a family that had a daughter and he refers to her as a sister as well.

It bothers me and kind of hurts because me and him have had to really work on our relationship in the last few months and I feel like there is no effort on my end but he wants to invest in her. I am willing to be told that I am just being insecure when told respectfully.

I just do not know how to process the situation and I do not know whether I should bring it up and potentially start an argument. What is the best way to process this and go about it?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

RayaQueen −  Sounds like he likes your sister more than you is all.

Lambsenglish −  “I’ve spent a lot on you this year so I’m not getting you a Christmas present” is a straight up red flag. “I will however spend money on your sister” is another straight red. Girl, what are you doing allowing this unserious behaviour?

pixiedust1995 −  That’s weird and not normal. I fear something else is going on especially if he has only met her twice they are clearly in regular communication especially if he is that comfortable to spoil her and take her out. That is wrong on so many levels.

Novel-Confidence2449 −  He clearly has some kind of inappropriate interest in your sister. I would break up with him tbh

deathandtaxes2023 −  You can celebrate Christmas without spending loads of money…its a red flag he doesn’t want to celebrate at all with you. Wanting to celebrate your sisters birthday when they’ve only met twice is also weird. Did you talk to your sister….have they been in contact?

Katherine610 −  Erm what’s ur sister said about all of this and why does she want to spend her birthday with ur boyfriend. If she really wants to they sleeping together

QueenQueerBen −  I misread and thought it was quite sweet he was spending money on his sister until I realized he was spending money on *your* sister. What.

ambiguoususername888 −  Everything you’ve said about him and his behaviour is a walking red flag.

Carsenaavery −  I’d wonder if he’s seeing her under your noes..

MajorMovieBuff85 −  He is trying to bang your sister. First warn her and then d**p him.