My (22F) brothers (16M) girlfriend keeps eating my food when she comes over, while I am at work, I told him not to bring her over anymore and he insulted me, should I kick him out?

A 22-year-old woman shared her frustrations about her 16-year-old brother’s girlfriend eating her food without permission when visiting their home. Despite repeatedly asking him to stop bringing her over, her brother insulted her appearance, leaving her deeply hurt. She’s torn between standing her ground and continuing to provide a home for her brother, as he has nowhere else to go after being kicked out by their parents. For the full story and advice from the community, read below…

‘ My (22F) brothers (16M) girlfriend keeps eating my food when she comes over, while I am at work, I told him not to bring her over anymore and he insulted me, should I kick him out?’

So, I’m a black woman. 22 years old. I live with my younger, 16 year old brother. He lives with me, and not our parents, because our parents kicked him out for having drugs on him, multiple times. Anyways, that’s just a little background info, I guess, just in case you were going to ask why he lives with me. So anyway, the problem is with his girlfriend that pretty much comes over every day.

It has happened multiple times, where she eats my food that is in the refrigerator. I have told my brother to tell her not to do it, as I am at work when she comes over, but I guess he never does. Yesterday, since I was tired of it, I told my brother straight up that she couldn’t come over anymore.

I told him that she has eaten my food way too many times, and since he is not going to tell her not to, she just can’t come over anymore. He told me that my replaceable food isn’t worth more than his relationship and s**ual needs. I told him that I don’t care about his needs, and that it’s more so about the principal of it.

You don’t eat someone else’s food, especially when you are a visitor. I told him again to not bring her over, ever again. And that they should hang out in a park, or something. He replied that he knew that it wasn’t just about the food, and that I was really “just jealous of her long, silky hair”, and that I’m just mad because I look like a “burnt ass Mr clean”.

Yes, his girlfriend is white, and yes I just chopped off all of my hair. I am a bit insecure about it, so what he said really hurt me. I didn’t say anything else, because I was so close to bursting out in tears. I just walked back to my room, slammed the door, and cried into my pillow. very softly, for a little bit.

What do I do? I don’t want to kick him out because hes only 16, and I don’t think he will have anywhere to go. I feel like I would be a bad sister if I did that. Especially since we are black, so I feel like I should really look out for him.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Ruthless_Bunny −  Sit down with him and tell him, “You are my brother and I love you. I love you too much to let you pull this s**t on me. You aren’t my child and it’s not my job to put a roof over your head and to buy groceries for you and your girlfriend. I work for my money and you are sitting around MY house being disrespectful to me and f**king your girlfriend.

You need to get a job and start contributing. You need to be on track to graduate and you FOR SURE need to stop being an a**hole to me. You already fucked up your relationship with Mom and Dad and you are 90% to f**king up your relationship with me. If it’s too hard to live here, I can call CPS and have them take you into foster care. This is your decision, not mine.

So what’s it going to be? School, job and respect, or Foster Care?” Right now you are enabling him. Is he doing school and getting good grades? Is he working? Make him kick in for rent.
He’s just an underage mooch. He’s going to be a mooching man if he doesn’t turn it around.

Evolutioncocktail −  If his girlfriend is so great, he can go live with her and leave you and your beautiful haircut alone

Awesome_one_forever −  As a fellow black person the top post is your best option. I had to do the same thing with my younger brother. Sometimes a well worded threat works best. Your brother is a mooch right now and a disrespectful little s**t. Make clear what his options are and if he picks the wrong one it’s on him not you.

SupetMonkeyRobot −  Your house, your rules. If he doesn’t like it then he can go back home or stay with CPS. You’re his sister, not his doormat. Edit: CPS = Child Protection Services

EuphoricRealist −  He lives with me, and not our parents, because our parents kicked him out for having drugs on him, multiple times. You’re a good sister for helping him but you’re not his mother so speak to him as a peer. You need to establish some boundaries. Like “you speak to me respectfully or your ass is out” boundaries. He’s testing you, don’t back down.

If he can’t listen/compromise then *he has to leave*. He’s 16, he’s still learning self discipline. You have to give him rules. When/if he’s in a better place explain why his words about your hair were hurtful and problematic. And as a black man pitting his literally sister against his white girlfriend is a f*ckboy move.

See if you can take an hour break during work to speak directly to the girlfriend. Start off sugar sweet so she can’t play victim and say you were intimidating.

ThrowRAhellowurld −  WOW. So much support. Sorry, I just woke up. I have read the top comment and all of the rest. Thank you all! I was honestly a little scared before I posting this that I was going to get crucified for not doing more for him, because he is a black boy. But thank you all! I will memorize what ruthless bunny said, sit him down and tell him it. I will post an update if I am allowed. <3 Hugs!

Past_Perspective_625 −  He owes you an apology. Bottom line. You have done a lot for him and the disrespect is unacceptable. Tell him to apologize and keep his gf out of your house or you will put him out. Periodt. The crazy part is, while he talking crazy and downing you as a black woman,

you are the one putting a roof over his head and helping his ungrateful ass when your parents put him out. Smh. Disgusting. The apology is number 1, the food is number 2 and if he can’t manage that little bit of respect putting his b** ass out is number 3.

Complete_Entry −  Explain to him he’s become too comfortable. Explain you are his last choice before the streets. If he wants to f**k, he can go f**k in a burnt out car, like dirty mike and the boys. Also report your parents to CPS for abandoning their kid.

[Reddit User] −  I mean, if you are hesitant to toss him out because you feel responsible for him you can stop right there. Your parents put him out for a reason. So not only is he still bringing drugs in your house and sleeping with his girlfriend daily, he’s letting her eat your food. All while not contributing to the household.

You need to either take a day off to speak with this girl in person and tell her to stop, or put your brother out. He is enabling this. He is the problem. He’s gonna keep acting out so you have to put your foot down. No crying. Pack his stuff and tell him shape up or bounce.

_Spare15_ −  Don’t back down, it’s your house. He’s just being a d**k because he isn’t getting his way.

How would you handle this difficult situation, balancing boundaries and care for a younger sibling? Do you think kicking him out is too extreme, or should she enforce consequences for his disrespect and behavior? Share your thoughts and advice below!