My [20F] Friend [20F] broke up with her boyfriend [20M] because she thought he cheated, she found it he didn’t and she won’t stop crying

A Reddit user shared their concern about a friend who is devastated after realizing she mistakenly broke up with her boyfriend over false cheating accusations. The breakup, triggered by misleading rumors at a university party, left both the friend and her boyfriend heartbroken. Now, with her boyfriend back in Canada and out of contact due to the coronavirus lockdown, the friend feels overwhelmed by guilt and regret, unable to reconcile.

The group of friends is struggling to support her through FaceTime and Snapchat as she spirals into sadness. To learn more about their situation and how others have responded, read the full story below…

‘ My [20F] Friend [20F] broke up with her boyfriend [20M] because she thought he cheated, she found it he didn’t and she won’t stop crying’

This is such a mess right now and none of us can see each other due to the coronavirus situation. I don’t want to dig into my friends whole breakup. But a month back, we had a party at our university. A lot of people apparently saw something, assumed my friends boyfriend was cheating on her. She broke up with him.

There is now a video from the party and it’s extremely clear he didn’t cheat. The thing is she just started getting over it, and now she finds out he didn’t cheat. She broke down when she broke up with him, he cried too trying to explain his innocence. They both clearly love each other, they’ve been dating since the start of freshmen year.

Literally all my friend did was cry for a week when she broke up with him, and the sad thing is we stopped seeing her boyfriend on campus as much as we used to. I feel terrible for him too, he probably feels embarrassed. I can’t imagine falsely being accused by so many people, and then having your girlfriend break up with you.

Anyways my friend, she’s been crying non stop; all my friends feel horrible because we can’t help her over Snapchat or FaceTime. But every time we call her she’s literally crying or on the verge of crying and saying negative things. “What if he transferred out”, “this is my fault” and she’s literally been hugging a teddy bear he once gifted her. It’s honestly so sad to see.

Her boyfriend returned back to Canada because they cleared the campus due to cornavirus. And he has deactivated his social media for a while, and since he’s in Canada, his California phone number is not working. Me and my friends have been trying to stop her from saying negative things,

but I almost started crying too because she keeps saying things like “ he wanted to hug me, but I pushed him away “ and it’s heartbreaking. Then she keeps saying I want to hug him and proceeds to hug the teddy bear. The worst thing is we can’t even see each other. Any suggestions on what can be done, without meeting in person. I feel bad for her, and her boyfriend too. It’s so sad, but the virus is making things complicated.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

[Reddit User] −  As terrible as it sounds, there isn’t much to do. You can be supportive of her but this is something she did and something only she can deal with. And if he decided that it was too much and he doesn’t want to be with her anymore, she’s going to need to deal with that too. Again, just be supportive of her and try to talk about things unrelated to him.

longbeast −  Shutting off his social media accounts is a clear sign that he doesn’t want to be contacted. Respect his wishes and don’t contact him.

aria523 −  A) stop calling him her boyfriend. The correct term is EX-boyfriend. B) support her and tell her you care about her. When she’s done crying, talk to her about the mistakes she made and how to prevent this in the future. C) leave the poor guy alone now.

tricoloredduck851 −  Leave this poor guy alone. Stop picking at the scab and let it heal. This was a teaching moment.

Medicivich −  Out of curiosity, were you advising her to d**p him when this whole mess happened? If so, was it based on what you saw or what you heard? I’m wondering why you are so invested in this to post here.

hiregar −  Your friend should leave him well enough alone. Imagine that you go to a party and your GFs friends all say you cheated in your GF even though you didn’t. You’re embarrassed as hell. You’re terrified she won’t believe you’re innocent. Then she breaks up with you. You plead and explain you didn’t do anything.

To ask the others at the party – to trust and give you a chance to prove you’re innocent. She doesn’t believe you, believes rumours over you. Her friends , your friends , and your GF ignore you in campus. Time passes, you just get over it and she’s contacting you again. Youre hella hurt.. She wronged him. Leave him be now.

ConsistentDeal2 −  If I was the boyfriend I’d stay away from her tbh. She chose to believe some clearly unfounded rumours over this guy she supposedly loves. That’s a pretty big lack of trust. Not to mention I wouldn’t want anything to do with someone that falsely accused me of anything.

She can email him if she likes but she’s just gotta take the L if he doesn’t respond or tells her to shove it. She betrayed his trust and broke up with him. She’s gonna have to live with the natural consequences.

Be__Live44 −  Yeah, If I was his older brother I’d be steering him away from your friend, sorry. 20 is way to you to be dealing with this level of insecurity and drama. If the shoe was on the other foot and he accused her of cheating on him and wigged out and broke up with her, and she was blubbering the same way she is right now, you probably wouldn’t be feeling bad for him.

She made a poor decision based on other peoples word rather than coming to a concrete conclusion. There are repercussions for that. I’ve been that guy many years ago (falsely accused of cheating on the word of “friends”), no sympathy here.

Aleric1977 −  I feel bad for your friend, but this is her own fault. First off she shouldn’t have broken up with him without any proof. Never trust the rumor mill. Second, why didn’t she verify any of this. It’s not that hard to do, just find other people that went to the party, and ask them what happened, or ask to see any video or pics they took.

I hate to say it, but I think sending an email won’t help at this point. The damage has already been done. Your friend proved her trust is conditional at best. I hope she learns from this, and can do things better next time.

YeetMaster2512 −  Honestly, i cant feel bad for your friend as much as i try my hardest to do so. It was her relationship so why tf did she listen to other people saying dumb s**t. If i was in that guys shoes, id take a big break from this relationship because it shows she trusts other people more than her boyfriend.

Do you think the friend should reach out to her ex-boyfriend despite the distance, or should she focus on self-healing first? How would you support someone going through such intense emotions during a time of physical separation? Share your thoughts and advice below!