Me a [25F] med student with my non-medical BF [26M] who won’t stop asking questions

A 25-year-old medical student shared her frustrations with her non-medical boyfriend, who constantly asks her medical questions, seeks explanations for health claims, and challenges her knowledge. While he views these interactions as opportunities for her to “learn,”

she feels stressed and exhausted, especially as medical school already demands so much mental energy. The user questions whether she’s overreacting or if there’s a better way to handle his persistent inquiries.

‘ Me a [25F] med student with my non-medical BF [26M] who won’t stop asking questions’

BF was one of those who wanted to go to med school til he took a few weed-out pre-med classes…Now he is in a non-science field and constantly asks me incessant questions.
He’ll be watching television, see some character has some disorder, ask what causes the disorder, ask about the drugs that treat it, ask about the mechanisms for the drugs,

ask why the show isn’t giving those drugs and how the drugs that show is giving actually work and why that’s wrong and what would happen in real life if we did that, and on and on and on… I feel like I’m constantly being pimped. [“Pimping” is when a superior (resident/fellow/attending) who’s evaluating you asks you medical questions.

It’s one of the ways clinical medicine has been taught/tested for ages…and can at times be extremely stressful. BF will also come to me with off the wall claims (“My coworker told me that zinc prevents all colds and 8 different types of cancer. How come you doctors don’t have everyone on zinc?”)

and he won’t leave me alone until I look into zinc and give him some reason that he finds satisfactory. The baseline assumption is always that his non-medical coworker is correct and I have to defend why “all us doctors” are/aren’t doing xyz. I’ve explained that this is not how I want to spend my little time off from the hospital.

When I have to look something up to shut him up, he tells me I’m lucky to be in med school and I should be happy that I’m learning things when I look them up to answer him. I feel small, I don’t usually feel small, and I can’t figure out where exactly the problem is here. I know I am lucky to be in med school.

I also feel super frustrated and like I’m being pimped in my own home. Am I just being stupidly defensive? Should I just…know more things than I do? Does anyone have a good method for dealing with this $hit?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

purplezart −  Why can’t he look up the answers to his own questions?

[Reddit User] −  When I have to look something up to shut him up, he tells me I’m lucky to be in med school and I should be happy that I’m learning things when I look them up to answer him.
“Yes, I am lucky to be in med school. That does not mean I want it to be a 24/7 experience.

If you are so envious of the opportunity I get to hone my medical knowledge, you are more than welcome to look this stuff up yourself. Otherwise, please respect my downtime and be my boyfriend instead of continually throwing pop quizzes at me, or this is going to turn into a serious problem.”

It sounds like your boyfriend is jealous, and you need to make it clear that this attempt to either live vicariously through you or punish you for getting to do what he couldn’t needs to stop. If not, then you should seriously think about whether this is how you want to spend your limited free time.

butilikeitthatway −  BF is an a**hole, sorry. he’s completely ignoring your feelings on the matter. shut him down. direct and blunt. unless, this is the home life you want.

Dragonhatch −  Ugh i had a dynamic like this with an ex. I would sometimes tell him interesting facts or explain something to him in my feild (bio) and he just couldn’t simply let me be right. He would almost always contradict me like “oh i dont really think so because of x or y” (x being an old wives tale and y being his own s**tty mansplaining theory).

If i tried to correct him, he wouldn’t beleive me unless i pulled a citation out of my b**t. He could dismiss my opinion in my feild out of hand, but for me to dismiss his, i needed peer review! Exhausting, and no matter how many times i was proven right, it didn’t make him respect my expertise any more the next time i thought to share it.

After watching him interact with some of my same level coworkers, i saw that he would be interested, nod politely, and even genuinely beleive them! and parrot their opinions!. I put two and two together and realized it was sexism. After we broke up, i saw him doing more overtly sexist things (regarding his mother and sister) that i wouldn’t have put up with….

he knew to hide that side of himself in modern society. Though he keeps asking for it, your bf doesn’t respect your opinion. Maybe it’s sexism, or maybe it’s because he knew you before you became an expert. He doesn’t accept that, even though he was weeded out of your program, you could possibly be smarter than him!

ghjfds78908 −  Can he not f**king Google this s**t? Also, who just accepts a weirdo statement like ZINC PREVENTS EIGHT TYPES OF CANCER.

forel237 −  Also in med school and I HATE this. ‘Shouldn’t you know this? You’re the doctor!’ should be an excuse to legally kill somebody. I’ve only done three rotations (GI, ortho and resp) and my family constantly ask me “Oh what do you think about this weird medical condition that x relative has” and get all offended when I tell them I have absolutely no idea what it is.

Usually I just don’t engage them, because the few times I’ve said ‘Sure I’ll look it up’ they come back with some weird specific question and make me feel stupid for not being able to answer it. Whenever I’m at home I seem to be constantly repeating “I don’t know what that is.” and “See a doctor, because I’m not one.”

Med students I know are extremely paranoid about whether they know ‘enough’. You have to have a life, and you can’t know everything. ‘I don’t know’ is an acceptable answer, if he’s interested he can look it up himself.

[Reddit User] −  One of the reasons why my SO quit being in the medical field was because of all the things there is to know vs the things she did know was so overwhelming she feared hurting someone. It’s ok to not know it’s impossible to k ow everything because a)ur not a doctor and b)doctors look stuff up.

You need a place to unwind and if u come home and it’s all work again ull burn urself out. Just tell him “I don’t know but ur welcome to look it up urself, when I’m a doctor with years of experience I might be able to explain all these things to u but right now I need u to be my bf not my instructor”.

Doctor-Kitten −  As a fellow medical student who was in a relationship that sucked my time away, and kept me from having time to have a break, please seriously consider leaving this guy. He will always be questioning your ability to be in medicine. It is a stressful enough field that this added stress isnt worth it, and can actually ruin your career.

There is a reason medicine has high suicide rates, and when people treat you the way your bf is at home, its just not worth it. Youll get enough of what he is doing from your patients, you dont need it at home!