Me [28F] with another mom [45F] on the playground. Slept with her husband [46M] in April, only he told me he was divorced and I found out they are still married by chance.

A Reddit user recounted a shocking revelation that threatens her friendship with a fellow mom she met at her daughter’s school. Earlier this year, she unknowingly had a one-night stand with the woman’s husband, who had claimed to be divorced. Now, after realizing the truth, she’s grappling with whether to reveal what happened, knowing it could devastate her new friend and end their friendship. Read the full story below for more details and ethical considerations.

‘ Me [28F] with another mom [45F] on the playground. Slept with her husband [46M] in April, only he told me he was divorced and I found out they are still married by chance.’

In April of this year I went out to a pub for dinner after work. I got a little drunk and began chatting with the gentleman on the bar stool next to me. We talked about our jobs, our relationships (both divorced), where we lived etc. He was cute, I thought we were both single, so when he invited me over I made sure I had condoms and thought nothing of it.

We had fun, and I never spoke to him again. Cut to now, I have made a really great friend on the playground at my daughter’s school. We have a good time chatting and her kids enjoying playing with my daughter. We talked about our jobs, our relationships (me divorced, her married 15 happy years), and the kids.

On Halloween as I was walking through town with my daughter I bumped in to her, her two littles, and the husband I had yet to meet; the man I fucked in April. My mom friend registered the shock on my face and thought I was surprised at her costume, so I played it off as that, but no; I was staring down her husband who was equally as shocked to see me.

I really do not know what to do here, and this is just f**king absurd. I have no proof other aside from the testimony of the bartender, who checked in with me before I left with him to make sure I was okay. What exactly should I do here? Because I feel like I should tell her. I’d want to know, and I’m also sad that I know I cannot remain friends with her either way.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

livingflying −  Yup, you need to tell her. Explain what you’ve said here, that he said he was divorced. You’re right, it will probably end your friendship, but your friendship would be untenable anyway, with you and her husband trying to keep this secret. I’m curious though — you went to his place — there was no sign of a wife and family?

DRHdez −  You won’t be able to keep the secret being a friend of hers. Also, if you consider her a friend, a friend would tell her what happened. S**tty situation all around. Sorry.

[Reddit User] −  “(Friend), I had a one night stand with your husband last April. We met at a bar and he told me he was divorced. If I knew he was married, I never would have gone through with it. Now that I know he is your husband, I wanted you to know what he’s done. I’d want to know if my SO cheated on me. I know this might ruin our friendship but I like and respect you and I cannot keep the truth from you.”

shitshowmartinez −  I know this is the minority opinion, but I don’t think you should tell her. Not out of concern for him or her but for you. You don’t know how that will play out – it could be nothing, but it could be a divorce, it could even be violent, there could even be a suicide. There’s also two little children involved.

Even though you will have done NOTHING WRONG, either by what you did or by telling her, all of that will weigh on you for a long time. And then, through no fault of your own, you’ll be thrust into a world of pain.

It’s not our responsibility to govern other people’s marriages. If she were your best friend or sister, it might be different. But life is hard, keep yourself sane – find a new playground and end the friendship. I know, both options suck, but this one best preserves you.

RememberKoomValley −  Tell her. He’s putting her at risk–it’s really unlikely you’re the only h**kup he’s had.

ed_lv −  I would tell her. She has a right to know, and I’m sure he’s done this with other women as well.

CudiHaze −  How did the husband react when you all met? Is there any chance at all he’s just very similar looking? Chances are you’re right and you’d be able to remember who you slept with six months ago, but just asking. I’m really curious if the husband was all “deer in the headlights” when you met again or if he even remembered.

Flaccid_flamingo2814 −  I’d say you don’t tell her. Unfortunately, it’s a really s**tty situation but at the end of the day it’s his own indiscretions and not actually yours. If my spouse was cheating on me of course I’d want to know but I’d rather it be on my own terms rather than some stranger who I just befriended tell me. You may feel that you have a duty to tell her.

That’s completely rational and understandable. However, your secret could potentially ruin an entire marriage. Plenty of people make mistakes and regret it later on and he may very well be one of those people. Maybe he’s already told her. Maybe they have an open relationship. You just don’t have all the facts necessary to make such a determination.

I would say that you should wait, continue developing this friendship, and find out more information. If you feel uncomfortable with it then just cut your losses and move on. You can’t project your morals on a stranger like that.

megamoze −  Here’s the tricky part. He now knows you know you his wife. He’s probably freaking out and preparing to burn you to the ground if necessary to save himself. He is concocting his story. Be prepared for this if you decide to tell her.

Despite the potential consequences, I’m of the mind that you should tell her. She’s your friend. You didn’t knowingly do anything wrong. Do you think she deserves to know the truth about her husband?

JustMy2Centences −  You know how Reddit always tells the spouse who’s been cheated on that they have a head start on divorce proceedings and to act swiftly? He, the cheater, has that sort of head start now. There’s no way it isn’t running through his head that he’s getting found out.. Tell her.

Should the user tell her friend about the one-night stand with her husband, or stay silent to avoid causing pain? How would you navigate this morally complex situation? Share your perspectives below and join the discussion!