Me [27 F] with my Husband [28 M] married for 2 years. I got a call from his ‘friend’ that he has been cheating on me but things don’t add up.

A Redditor (27F) is dealing with doubts about her husband’s (28M) faithfulness after receiving a call from a man named Dylan, who claims to have seen her husband kissing a woman named Flora, and suspects something is going on between them.

The Redditor checks her husband’s phone and sees nothing suspicious, but the situation still has her torn between confronting him and staying calm. She’s now considering joining Dylan for a stake-out to catch Flora in the act, but she’s unsure if that’s the right choice. Read the original story below to find out more:

‘ Me [27 F] with my Husband [28 M] married for 2 years. I got a call from his ‘friend’ that he has been cheating on me but things don’t add up.’

My husband ‘Sean’ has always been a huge fitness and gym enthusiast. He is extremely good looking and always has multiple women flirting/hitting on him and this has always been a big insecurity of mine so maybe that’s why I am so paranoid. Recently about 7 months ago a new couple ‘Dylan and Flora’ moved into our area. They are both 23 and out of college.

Flora and my husband met while playing tennis as they both go to the same club and they get along great. I always thought she had a crush on him but as she is(was?) respectful, so I left it at that. Soon my husband invited her to the Gym he goes. Now, a week ago I get a call from Dylan saying that one of the guys in the Gym had seen my husband and Flora kissing just outside our apartment building.

He also gave me three instances when Flora was out and asked whether I could account for my husband. I said I’d call him back so I could check my calendar. I’d been with him all three times. When I called back he said she had condoms in the glove-box of her car and she’d been checking out hotel sites. She’s also very secretive about her phone now.

I went through his phone and social media as we are very open about these things and there was no sign of an affair although they had been texting quite a bit(about tennis etc.) and she has always been very complimentary but my husband has not responded/flirted back. It sounds like Flora is up to something but I pray to God it’s not with my husband.

So why phone me? We have very loving relationship and he doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who would cheat. Even worse, the guy called me again last night asking that I go on some sort of stake-out with him. She says she’s away with work next week and he’s sure it’s not true.

He’s hoping to catch her at it. Should I go too and keep everything crossed it’s not my husband? Should I just confront my husband or just lay low and hope for the best. This is tearing me apart now and I have not been able to sleep since.

See what others had to share with OP:

bleucheesyboi −  If you were with him on all the “times he cheated”, and nothing is on his phone, then I would just tell him what people said about him and listen. It doesn’t sound to me like he did anything.

Luidaeg −  I see two possible scenarios here. 1. Flora’s cheating, but from the sounds of it, not with your husband because you have zero reason to trust some dude over the man that you married. This means that whatever Flora’s up to is none of your business, and you should not get involved in the neighbor’s marriage by going on some bizarre stakeout.

2. This dude’s unhinged with jealousy, and wants to spread his paranoia around by either convincing you that your husband’s cheating, or just drawing you into his irrational orbit by recruiting you into stalking his wife. Either way, you should tell your husband what’s been going on, and stop responding to Dylan.

fwooby_pwow −  I bet she’s cheating, but not with your husband. He probably assumes it’s with your husband because they play tennis together. Don’t go on the stake out. I’m worried he’ll try to make a move on you as “revenge” on your husband and his wife. Tell your husband everything. Don’t accuse him of anything, but tell him what’s going on. You two should distance yourselves from this drama-filled couple.

princesspeachpallet −  It does sound like she might be cheating. But no evidence that its with your husband. Is it possible that male neighbour has a thing for you? Trying to split you up, using unfaithful wife for sympathy and wanting you alone. Red flag

Cyclonitron −  the guy called me again last night asking that I go on some sort of stake-out with him. Oh, HELL NO. This guy has already tried to poison your relationship with your husband and is now trying to get you to be alone with him. Dylan’s got a thing for you and will try to make a move on you (or worse) if you go out on his “stake-out” with him. This man is untrustworthy. I’d stop communicating with him.

Mabelisms −  I think this guy is trying to set you up for something. Stay well away and trust your husband.

HiddenTurtles −  I feel like the people in this sub use the word ‘confront’ way too often when what they really mean is approach and discuss. There is no need to be confrontational at all, especially in this situation. You need to tell your husband that ‘Dylan’ has now called you on several occasions saying that he believes that he and Flora are having an affair.

Tell your husband that someone told Dylan that they saw your husband kissing Flora, that Flora has condoms and has been checking hotels out, and that you have confirmed with your calendar that you know there is no way he is doing this but that you are telling him because you are being bothered by the calls and accusations when you are confident he would never do that.

I say to phrase it this way because it sounds like you know your husband isn’t cheating, there is no reason to approach it like he needs to defend himself, because he doesn’t as he has done nothing wrong. Do not go on a stake out, talk to your husband.

I think it would be best if he limited contact with Flora for the moment so her husband can move on to the next suspect. For all you know she is using your husband as a target for her husband to focus on while she is messing with other men.

Skippylu −  Even worse, the guy called me again last night asking that I go on some sort of stake-out with him. Really wouldn’t advise going on a stake out with a person you don’t know very well. It could turn weird, stay safe!

Bremple −  You are putting your marriage in mortal danger by continuing to entertain Dylan’s suspicions. He warned you, you did your due diligence checking your calendar and your husband’s phone (sketchy, but I’ll take your word for it that he wouldn’t have minded). You found no evidence. The prudent thing to do is rely on your trust for your husband and drop it.

Staking him out (insanity), checking up on him, or continuing to let Dylan involve you in his paranoia is risking your marriage, and your husband’s trust in you. He would have to be a master deceiver for you to not have noticed anything yet, and for an examination of his private conversations to have turned up nothing.

In all likelihood, Dylan has been uncomfortable with his wife’s friendship with your husband for a while now, and so it was the first place he went when he convinced himself she was cheating. It doesn’t really matter though, because this isn’t your problem, it’s his. Tell Dylan to stop calling you and walk away from this mess, before you get caught up in the blast radius.

newpinecones −  Stop talking with Dylan and have a sit down with your husband. Tell about these calls and ask him about his friendship with Flora. At very least, it sounds like he needs to dial back his communication with her and actively shut down her flirty behavior.

This situation is incredibly stressful and full of uncertainty. The Redditor is caught between trust in her husband and the suspicions raised by Dylan. What do you think? Should she confront her husband directly or follow through with the stake-out to get answers? Do you think there’s a possibility of something happening with Flora, or could it be a misunderstanding? Share your thoughts and advice below.