AITA for laughing in my cousin’s face when she tried to stage an intervention for my “drug use?”
In this story, a guy has a medical condition that requires him to use ear drops and a syringe regularly, but he keeps it private due to past bullying. His cousin, who likes to gossip, saw him doing his routine and jumped to the conclusion that he was using drugs.
Without talking to his family or wife, she staged an intervention with his friends, only for him to laugh in her face when he realized what was happening. Now, his cousin is upset and calls him the bad guy for not explaining the situation sooner. Is he wrong?
AITA for laughing in my cousin’s face when she tried to stage an intervention for my “drug use?”
I (27M) have a condition which causes me to overproduce earwax. I don’t tell people about it because I was bullied for it growing up. Only my wife and parents know. Every other day, I have to put medication in each ear, let it sit, then flush it out with a rubber tipped syringe. This prevents ear infections, vertigo, permanent hearing loss, and worsening of my tinnitus. I have dealt with all of these things to some extent, so I stay on top of my eardrop regimen. If my alarm goes off when I’m with others, I go to the bathroom for 20 minutes and knock it out. If I don’t follow my schedule I forget, so I can’t put it off.
Two weeks ago, my mom hosted family dinner. My cousin Kara (37F) saw me waltz off to the bathroom to do my thing, syringe in hand, and asked what I was doing. I said just a minor medical thing. She kept pushing but I didn’t want to say anything because she gossips. I told her it’s personal and scooted past. When I left, she was standing in the hallway. She asked what took so long and why the toilet didn’t flush. I said none of her business. She said she didn’t mean to offend.
Last weekend, my friend called me to invite me out to lunch with some buddies. He said to meet up at his house so we wouldn’t have to drive separately. I arrive at his house to find Kara and my friends sitting solemnly on the couch. Kara said they were here to talk about my “problem” and that they just wanted to help. I said there is no problem. Suddenly it clicked in my head what this was about. I couldn’t help but laugh a little bit out of shock. She asked what was so funny, and I said first of all why didn’t you talk to my wife or my parents? She said she didn’t want to involve my “enablers” which just made me laugh harder. She looked annoyed and said she was done trying to help. I said that’s alright by me She stormed out.
I explained to my friends. They knew I have a condition but never pressed me on it, I guess when Kara approached them they thought I was lying. Obviously I’d rather they know than worry about me being an addict when l’m not. I thanked them for their support anyways. Kara had apparently reached all of my friends by through my social media. We all got a good hearty laugh out of it, which Kara must have heard because she was, of course, eavesdropping. She burst back in and told me to tell them the truth, to which I said I did. My friend kicked her out. We went for lunch and I thought that was that.
My mom called me yesterday and told me she had talked to Kara about the whole thing and explained. She said Kara was very upset with me and essentially called me an asshole for not explaining, and laughing in her face and embarrassing her. I said I was embarrassed and that Kara had no right to my info. I think she shouldn’t go around snooping and making assumptions. My mom still thinks I should apologize.
ETA: She didn’t see my alarm go off, just ran into me on her way from the kitchen. My alarm isn’t for dinner time, it’s for 9:15pm, I do it at home most of the time.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Forward-Wear7913 – NTA. She owes you a major apology as her spreading untrue information about a possible drug addiction could’ve caused you to be harmed. What if somebody shared this information with your employer? Depending on your profession and your employer, you could’ve been suspended or lost your job.
FullMoonTwist – I… don’t know any drug addicts that have it on a daily timer lmfao. They tend to just follow their hearts on that particular issue.
ArtShapiro – NTA, rather obviously. I’ll refrain from waxing poetic, but you have every right to be irritated about someone prying into a medical condition that you’d prefer to keep private.
NapalmAxolotl – NTA, obviously. Kara made a complete fool out of herself- you didn’t have to help at all. Seriously, who says “This person went into the bathroom for a mysterious reason, ONCE that I know about – they must have a drug problem!” And then to stage an intervention, wow!
obscure_lover – Also, it was for 20 minutes without flushing (super weird she was listening for it but I guess not out of the ordinary for her). I don’t know any drug addicts personally, but most are typically way better about hiding when they’ve used lol.
Flimsy-Car-7926 – No! NTA. No apology needed. I would have laughed my ass off too. She took a small thing that was none of her business and inflated it into a big production that is now all about her hurt feelings. Dramatic much?
Crafty_Original_7349 – NTA I went through something similar with someone who saw me giving myself insulin and assumed that it was something else. I was meeting a bunch of people for dinner, and gave myself my insulin shot while I was in my truck. Well, someone saw me in the parking lot and assumed I was shooting up, then ran right into the restaurant and about chewed their lips off in their excitement to tattle on me.
I was thoroughly embarrassed, but I also had my insulin kit in my purse and got the joy of verbally cutting them off at the knees in front of everyone. Even so, it was still horrible, because people at all the other tables were staring at the drama.
I left without eating because it upset me so bad, and then later I had a blood sugar crash from taking insulin without a meal. The person never apologized, either. To this very day I think they’re still firmly convinced that I am a junkie and fooling everybody. 🙄
CelticKira – NTA definitely. your mother is ridiculous for demanding you apologize. Kara is not entitled to your condition or your regimen for making sure it doesn’t get worse. and her bothering your friends and making shit up because you wanted to keep your business private is ridiculous.
