Just found out my girlfriend [26F] of 6 years was cheating on me while I’m [30M] spending the holidays with her and her family.

A Reddit user shared that after six years of being in a relationship, he discovered his girlfriend was cheating on him while he was spending the holidays with her and her family. Despite them being in a long-distance relationship for over a year, he found out she was flirting with another guy and even met up with him while she was visiting him.

Though she apologized and agreed to stop communication with the other man, he feels deeply hurt and unsure about what to do next. He still has to stay with her until Saturday. Read the original story below…

‘ Just found out my girlfriend [26F] of 6 years was cheating on me while I’m [30M] spending the holidays with her and her family.’

My girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for six years, and we started doing long distance relationship about 1.5 years ago due to both of us being in graduate schools. Things have been fine until five months ago when I found out she was using a subscription dating app.

I was disappointed and broke up with her, but we eventually got back together because she convinced me that she didn’t go on any dates with anyone on the app. I believed her because I know that she is a very traditional girl and she lives with her family. After we got back together, I felt that our relationship wasn’t what it used to be, and I often felt neglected by her.

She would spend a lot of time texting even when we are FaceTiming at night. She told me she texting her girl friends and I believed her. I went to celebrate the holidays with her family this winter break, and she was on her phone a bunch as usual. But I noticed that she wouldn’t let me look at her phone and acting suspicious a lot of the time.

She also told me she’s going on a ski trip with a guy friend in March, but dodged questions when I asked for details of the guy. Finally, I’ve had it and looked through her FB messages, and I found conversations of her flirting with another guy for the past months. I confronted her about my findings and she admitted to having a crush on the other guy for months but nothing happened… just flirting on the internet.

Plus the guy did not quite reciprocate the feelings. But upon further questioning, she told me that she actually met up with that guy two weeks ago when she came to my city to visit me (the guy lives in the state I am going to graduate school in). She told me that they only kissed that night. I asked her to show me her texts and FB messages, but she refused for several hours before letting me look through them.

I found out that she’s been texting and flirting with him the whole time we’ve been spending the holidays together, and she changed his name to a female name so I wouldn’t be suspicious. She also didn’t tell him that we were a couple again and still refers to me as her Ex. She was apologetic when I confronted her and I made her cancel the ski trip and cease communication with him.

She reassured me that nothing will happen since he lives in my state far away from her and that he’s not interested in a relationship anyway. I feel so hurt right now and can’t fall asleep. She’s my first girlfriend and I love her so much. Her family treats me like another son. But the logical side of me knows that I cannot trust her anymore. I have to stay with her until Saturday and I don’t know what to do.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

RetireNickSaban −  Shes your first girlfriend? Sounds like she should be your first exgirlfriend

La_Peregrina −  Break up with her now. She’s no longer interested in a relationship with you. 😕

Bedtimeshine −  At a certain point you gotta have some confidence and self respect.

Agodunkmowm −  Let’s review the objective truth about your gf:. 1. She was using a dating app. 2. She met up with, and kissed another guy. 3. She had a ski trip planned with another guy. 4. She lied to you repeatedly

Honestly, any ONE of these things would lead me to believe that she doesn’t really want an exclusive relationship. I understand that she is your first girlfriend and that this is incredibly painful, but bro, she is not committed to you. It’s important to keep your self-respect intact and not allow people to hurt and manipulate you. I’m sorry to say, you are being played and will likely continue to be played.

[Reddit User] −  She told me that they only kissed that night. If she’s admitting to this, then there is a lot more she’s not admitting to. Once trust is lost it’s hard to regain. I wouldn’t be able to trust her again, she openly admitted to cheating on you. Leave her, block her, don’t ever think about taking her back and never look back.

xtlou −  She’s been dishonest for months. On a trip to see you, she saw another guy she was romantically interested in. She’s not apologetic she pursued this other man’s attention, she’s sorry she got caught. She planned a trip out of town with him. With this history of her telling you lies, why would her assurances of what will or won’t happen in the future matter to you? She’s a liar.

You’re not in a committed relationship with her family so their treatment of you is not relevent to whether or not you break up with her. You should, by the way, break up with her. You don’t have to stay with her until Sunday. However you got to her, reverse those tickets, find a new ride home, etc. Go home.

almightybob1 −  “I’m only texting my girlfriends, honestly!” “**OK fine that was a lie**, I secretly installed a subscription dating app, but I never met anyone on it, honestly I’m telling the truth this time!”

“**OK fine that was a lie**, I flirted with this guy for months, but nothing happened, honestly I’m telling the truth this time!” “**OK fine that was a lie**, we met up while I was supposed to be visiting you, and I’m secretly planning a holiday with him, but we only kissed, honestly I’m telling the truth this time!”. OP what the f**k are you thinking

thecynicalone26 −  Infidelities are like cockroaches. For every one you catch, there are a hundred you don’t.. Get out now.

gofortheko −  It sucks, but its time to work on another relationship.

[Reddit User] −  I wouldn’t have made her cancel the ski trip…. I would have asked her if she’s still planning on going. If she said yes, I’d become her ex like she wants. Your relationship has fizzled, maybe due to lack of maintenance because you’re both focused on school. She keeps trickle truthing you which means she’s not facing what’s really going on. What has really changed that’s going to make her change her current type of behavior?

Trust has been shattered, and the emotional toll is evident. Can forgiveness heal the wound, or is it time to let go? What steps would you suggest he take in this situation? Share your insights below.