AITA for mocking my brother for getting rejected by his dream college (that I got into) because he keeps tormenting me over it?

A young woman is facing constant emotional turmoil from her brother after she was accepted into their shared dream college while he was rejected. Despite her attempts to avoid conflict, her brother’s jealousy and resentment continue to escalate. After months of tension, she decides to take a stand and assert her right to celebrate her success. Read on for the full story.

‘ AITA for mocking my brother for getting rejected by his dream college (that I got into) because he keeps tormenting me over it?’

My brother Jake (18M) and I (17F) had the same dream college, H University. Also, in case you’re confused by the ages, we’re 1.5 years apart, but I skipped a grade so we were in the same grade for nearly our entire life. Jake was way more passionate about H Uni than I was. He had several H merch clothing, and kind of just assumed he was going there. For example, in conversations he’d say things like “Once I’m at H….” or “After I go to H, my plan is…”. Basically, his life plan rested on him going to H.

Jake and I got along pretty well, we’d sometimes give each other advice or study together. However, during college app season, he got super competitive once he realized I was also applying to H. He’d refuse to study together, look over each other’s essays, and he’d constantly tell me to not even bother applying.

Then, decisions came out and we opened them at the same time. I was accepted, and he was rejected. Jake had a massive panic attack, and instead of celebrating my acceptance with my family, I sat in my room all day because Jake would get furious when he saw me.

I once even caught him trying to unlock my laptop to decline my offer, since his friend dmed me to warn that he had been talking about doing that. My parents obviously punished him for that, which made it so much worse. When my H sweatshirt came in, he screamed at me for “showing off”, when I just put it in my closet. He told so many people that I only got in because I was a girl and that H mixed the siblings up.

Honestly, I felt bad for him because I would be crushed too if I were him. Everytime I tried to get him to stop, it got worse. So I just kept tolerating it. I thought it’d get better after the summer, once college actually started. It has not. Now it’s really set in that he is going to a (good imo) state school, and not H. His anger is largely compounded by the fact that he’s going to the same college that he used to condescend other students about aiming for.

My classes start soon, so I’ve been setting up in our study, which I share with Jake. Both of our rooms are tiny, with no room to study in, so we share a study with two desks that face away from each other. Jake cleared out my whole desk, and broke my lamp in the process. He says that I need to study in my room, so he can use the study without distractions for his classes.

We’ve always both worn headphones, there’s literally no distraction. He just doesn’t want to see me taking classes at H. I’m so f**king done, I just want to be proud that I got into this college and actually learn s**t without my brother screaming at me about it.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

PlukvdPetteflet −  After reading what you did, ESH. This is escalating. Where are your parents in all this? For college bound kids, you both need to grow up.

highoncatnipbrownies −  NTA. Your brother is hitting obsessive levels of jealousy. Trying to decline your offer letter? What a horrible thing to even think of. He deserves the r**ection letters in the drawers (lol that’s hilarious) even though it was a little mean, he did ask for it.

At this point, your parents really need to step in and tell him to calm the \*\*\*\* down already. You didn’t do anything to affect his college acceptance. You don’t deserve any jealousy its 100% not your fault and he is having an unhinged level of aggression towards you over it. It’s not ok.

ChungusMcGoodboy −  ESH. Your brother has been acting out in an extreme way. I think your parents need to get more involved in that respect. It sounds like you both still live at home? You sounded quite reasonable until the last paragraph. I get that he pushed you to this point, but gluing the r**ection letters into his desk definitely solidified you as an a**hole.

AmIBeingPunkd- −  I once even caught him trying to unlock my laptop to decline my offer, since his friend dmed me to warn that he had been talking about doing that. Hooooooly smokes. If it wasn’t painfully clear already, NTA. Your brother’s jealousy has reached p**cho level. Congratulations, sorry your brother’s too self-centered to be happy for anyone other than himself.. ETA.

His anger is largely compounded by the fact that he’s going to the same college that he used to condescend other students about aiming for. HAHAHA talk about life serving him a well-needed slice of humble pie. Love it.

ElectricMoccoson −  ESH – Your brother moreso than yourself. What your brother tried to do was potentially illegal (it would have been fraud) and his attitude is no doubt born from jealousy. Your parents should step in to calm this down before it goes too far.

For example: gluing r**ection letters to his desk. That’s not helping the situation, that’s holding a red rag to an enraged bull. I understand the reasons why you would do that, but rubbing your victory in his face is only going to make your brother escalate his behaviour.

carlocarlow −  NTA but this is a toxic situation can you dorm at the college? Jake will sabotage you IMO that level of extended anger etc is dangerous I think.

JamFifteen15 −  NTA I would put the r**ection letter glue onto the desk draw on one of the revenge subs as I find that funny.

henchwench89 −  NTA while your response wasn’t the most mature (hilarious though) theres only so much a person can take. Your parents need to step in here and deal with their toddler tantrum throwing son because its not your fault he didn’t get into his dream college. The way he’s treating you is unacceptable and the fact that he tried to decline your offer makes him a complete ah. They need to do something about him.

andreaburgos −  I am torn between NTA and ESH. Indeed your brother is behaving like an entitled b**t and his attitude sounds exhausting, but you had ended on top and perhaps could have avoided wearing the merch around the house (although a very mild level of a\*\*holery there). My question is WTF are your parents? They should be the ones coaching your brother on how to accept this set back and focus on the future instead of being a b**t…. Edit: just read the bit about the r**ection letter… yeah… ESH.

Zogzog60 −  I could go E S H, but I’m going to go NTA. You don’t owe him anything for being accepted and him being rejected. He is clearly acting like a toddler. He’s just hurt and upset. Not your fault though. I don’t think you are an ah for wearing your college sweater either, but super glueing the r**ection letter is where you crossed a line. He’ll get used to it eventually and congrats for your obtaining your place in the meantime!