I(f28) flew across the state to see my bf(m32) and he broke up with me but I don’t want to leave?

A Redditor (28F) flew across the state to visit her boyfriend (32M), but after an argument about him spending the second day of her visit watching a game with his friends while she was left alone, he unexpectedly broke up with her and asked her to fly back home. Now, feeling hurt and confused, she’s questioning if she’s being too needy. To read the full story, check it out below.

‘ I(f28) flew across the state to see my bf(m32) and he broke up with me but I don’t want to leave?’

I(f28) flew 8 hours across the state to visit my bf(m32) and we had a great day. At the end of it he asked me if it’s okay for him to go watch a game tomorrow with his friends. The game is supposed to be 4-6 hours and he implied that I can uber around the city (my first time visiting here) or stay home.

I got hurt over this because I waited a whole month to see him and spent my own money and energy to visit him yet he decided to spend the second day of my arrival with his friends and I’m left alone.

He said I’m making a big deal out of nothing as usual and since I don’t have a return date, we could spend time together whenever and I don’t even let him have four ours of his life to his friends.

I’m not bitching about his friends or this activity, I’m just disappointed that he decides to spend the second day leaving me alone to do my own thing. Fight got bigger and he broke up with me and told me to fly back home. I’m sitting here having to book my own return flight with my own money again and just feel so so alone and keep asking myself if I really am the inconsiderate gf who is so needy?

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Inevitable-Bet-4834 −  I say this as someone who was in a long distance relationship for many years. Your boyfriend is a j**k. Go home. Be with friends and family. If he wants to rekindle the relationship, refuse.

googleydeadpool −  Book that ticket by yourself, with your money. Only once! And never return to him. Being taken for granted is a real thing, and this behavior of his will continue.

Forseti555666 −  When I was in the Army back in the day this girl come down to visit her boyfriend, dude in my platoon. She was supposed to stay for 10 days. She was going to stay in the barracks with him, before anyone asks he had his head jammed up the Plt. Sgt’s ass.

He dumped her the first night she was there, right after he banged her. He made a big show walking in and out of his room telling her that she had to leave at like 11 at night, cause he thought everyone would think he was cool or something.

Another soldier stepped in and told her that she could crash in his room for the night and he would help her to the airport the next day. 9 days later he took her to the airport. He made a big show over those days of what they were doing all that time, she wasn’t quiet…

We all sat there and laughed at the first guy cause it was so obvious how jealous he was. It became a drinking game over those days. 6 months later when the 2nd dude got out of the army he moved to where she lived and married her a couple years later.

TroublesomeTurnip −  When I visit my friend, she clears as much of her schedule as she can. If she can’t get off work for a day or two, she leaves me at her place with her kitchen well stocked. She makes sure she can hang out with me, she’s a good host and whether or not we have plans set up, she doesn’t ditch me to go hang out with her friends. Hell, even her bf tags along or can give us space, whatever we want.

Your bf is inconsiderate and while I see both sides, the fact the second day is him ditching you, doesn’t set the tone. He could have invited you or seen the game on TV and simply hung out at his place with you, while texting his friends. Odds are, he’s not interested in you much.

You should have already set a return date before arriving, and discussed plans at least for the first few days. But in the future, take things slowly as I assume this is a new relationship.

steemb0at −  How do you fly for 8 hours and remain in the same state?

cassowary32 −  Whose idea was it to visit without a return ticket? Are you able to work remotely? Buying a ticket even 3 weeks from the flight is insanely expensive and during Christmas/New Years??? How long have you been dating?

And if this is the first time in his city, why on earth would you make it an open ended visit?? What if something went wrong?. This story makes no sense. Yes, it’s weird that he didn’t clear his schedule but you were going to be there for WEEKS. On a first trip?? That’s nuts!

Unsolicitedadvice13 −  What state is large enough to take 8 hours to fly across??

Motchiko −  You didn’t ask too much- he cared too little. Next time let them come to you. He ain’t the price, my dear.

ArmyCatMilk −  If it matters, I’m a 41m. IF you had a a trip scheduled for only a few days or so. I would be completely on your side. However, if you don’t have a return flight paid for then you could have been there for weeks or even months. In that case, I would be on your boyfriend’s side.

I get that you’re happy to see him again, but you still got to let the man “breath”. He wasn’t even asking for the whole day without you. You could have gotten lunch and/or taken a nap and he would be with you again before you knew it.

Where he is the j**k? He could have invited you to come and introduce you to his friends or get to know them better. A guy who is serious about his girl will want that to happen.

chapterpt −  \ I’m sitting here having to book my own return flight with my own money again and just feel so so alone and keep asking myself if I really am the inconsiderate gf who is so needy? Did you intend to stay indefinitely? Was he supposed to pay to fly you home?

Do you think the Redditor’s feelings were justified, or do you believe her boyfriend’s actions were reasonable? How would you handle a situation where your partner’s priorities seemed to clash with yours during a visit? Share your thoughts in the comments below!