I[19M] recently found out that my older sister[34F] is actually my biological mother.

A Reddit user shared a shocking revelation about his sister, Rose, who has been more than a sister to him—she’s actually his biological mother. After uncovering the truth through a DNA test and meeting his biological aunt, he now finds himself unsure of how to confront the woman he’s always considered his sister. Read the original story below.

‘ I[19M] recently found out that my older sister[34F] is actually my biological mother.’

My older sister(let’s call her Rose) and I have a great relationship since I was a baby. we were raised with an amazing adoptive family and she has always taken care of me. I grew up in a very warm and loving environment but from what i was told I was lucky.

I was told the story of how me and my sister had two d**g addict parents who never took care of us. They never bothered feeding us and used to left us at a junky friends house for days to go out partying. When my mom was pregnant with me she smoked and got drunk(luckily i turned out pretty fine) pretty often and when I was born my sister was the only one who took care of me.

When I was 2 months old they left us both in a mall and left. We got help from an old couple(who also turned into our adoptive family) and we contacted the police but my parents weren’t at the house, which looked like a homeless cave.

We never saw them again and after several months in foster care the couple that helped us(throughout the whole way btw) agreed to adopt us. Today I’m 19 and Rose is 34, I still live with my adoptive family and she lives about 20 minutes away so I come and visit her at least 3-4 times a week.. ​

So a couple of months ago my friend offered me to take a DNA test to find some information about my heritage, since my sister wouldn’t speak of them much. After the results came in I found out some pretty interesting things(like being 50% Ashkenazi Jew) I found out later that I had an aunt\[33f\] in the system.

I immediately reached out to her(Let’s call her Jennet) and we agreed to meet in person. All that without telling Rose a thing. When we met up I could see we have some similar characteristics like same hair color and same eyes.

We tried to figure things out so I asked her if she has a brother or sister and she told me that when she was 13 her 14 year old sister got pregnant while being drunk with her junky boyfriend and a month after giving birth she ran away with the baby after some pretty intensive fights with their parents.

They never found her and stopped looking after 1.5 years. I connected the dots, asked to see a picture of her, so we went to her parents house. Mom wasn’t home and father died 3 years ago. When I saw the picture, I knew. This was Rose, 100%.

Rose is my mom, we were never abandoned, we didn’t have junky parents and she fabricated the entire thing to me and our adoptive family. I immediately gave Jennet a hug and told her that it’s too much for me right now and asked her to keep it a secret for now.

I went to my best friends house, told him everything and for a week now I’m sleeping over at his place. I told my parents and my sister im at his house because he bought a new game that we both wanted for long and avoided talking to Rose much.

I can’t look her in the eyes right now, let alone tell her I know the truth. What the hell am I supposed to do? How should I handle this? Should I tell her I know?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

RickyNixon −  Keep in mind your Aunt was 13 and her view is probably heavily colored by her parents representation of what happened.. Please update us when you can

0359724 −  Sounds like she did the best she could for you under the worst conditions. She stayed in your life and protected you. You said you were raised with love and compassion. You could have had a s**t childhood but you didn’t. It’s not ideal but it’s not terrible either. You should talk about it with her.

lionhart280 −  It sounds like she was ashamed if her past, and has gotten better, but didnt want you to know who she used to be due to the shame
So she made the story up, which is actually probably true in ways <but the mom is her in order to protect you.

I think you should approach this with compassion. She didnt lie to hurt you. She lied because she loved you and hated her past self. It sounds like she dearly loves you and made the incredibly difficult, but right, call to give you to an adoptive family so you could have a much better life than she could give you.

It’s a lot to take in, but does it really change that much? You just went from having a loving sister to loving mom, which isnt a big difference honestly.
Many older sisters act like a mother anyways.. I think you are gonna be okay.

OneTwoWee000 −  Hold up.. when she was 13 her 14 year old sister got pregnant while being drunk with her junky boyfriend and a month after giving birth she ran away with the baby after some pretty intensive fights with their parents. They never found her and stopped looking after 1.5 years.
Why are you taking their version of the story as gospel?

This was 20 years ago. Your grandparents stopped looking for their daughter and grandchild after 18 months and they’re the hero of this story??
Because that sounds like they didn’t care all that much about her and by extension YOU.

As parents, how f**king irresponsible is that their young daughter was drinking, allegedly had a boyfriend in drugs, and was having s** at 12 or 13? They didn’t keep an eye on her? It’s *more likely* your sister/bio mother had a dysfunctional home life with parents who were negligent.

The relationship with her sister sounds cold as well, since she was just a year younger yet doesn’t even remember at what age her sister gave birth.. Your sister/bio mom got pregnant at 13, which is well below the age of consent. How old was the boyfriend? She could have been pressured into it or even raped by someone older and the “junky boyfriend” was blamed.

If boyfriend *is* indeed your biological father, it’s plausible as an *also young teenager* he panicked and bailed upon hearing about the pregnancy, and his parents didn’t push to have him take responsibility as a teen father.

So whatever the circumstances, your sister/bio mom found herself a single mom at 14 and fighting with parents so intensely she thought it was best for her and you — her infant son — to take her chances on the street. No diploma. No money.

**Still, she felt it was so urgent to leave that toxic home environment that she left. That must have been incredibly scary for your sister/bio mom.** Try to picture making that decision in her shoes, with a baby.

It’s telling your Aunt, whom you’ve given the benefit of doubt, never tried to find her sister or you after all this years. They wrote you off. They wrote your sister off too. **There’s likely way more to this story than you know, OP.**

####Despite all the uncertainty, your sister/bio mom found a safe and loving home for you to grow up in. She found adoptive parents willing to take on you both, and to take on the role of parents that she was too young to shoulder.

Yes, they should have told you once you got older, but OP consider for moment how devastatingly painful talking about her pregnancy and what really happened with your biological family must be for her.

Tell her that you know and you have questions. Tell her that you love her and are grateful she found both of you great parents. Stop avoiding her and taking what your Aunt said as “the truth”.

vasilisathedumbass −  Please remember that a 14 year old is a literal child and was probably manipulated and abused by whomever decided to initiate a s**ual relationship with her. The impression given by the aunt is that this was someone older and a bit dangerous (see j**kie boyfriend).

It feels a bit harsh to blame Rose for everything. Also we don’t know how the parents reacted to the whole thing and whether or not the aunt is biased. What were the parents like? Regardless, the lack of sympathy or concern for her sister given the situation is a bit baffling.

She was a CHILD and if a 14 year old posted on here asking for advice about being in that situation I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t be telling her she’s ruining lives, we would advise talking to the police or cps.

ghoubnata −  I really think there is more to this story that you will only get from your mother. Give yourself sometime to digest this info and then go speak to her. She did what she thought was best in this situation,if this the real story.

[Reddit User] −  honestly, how she told you about her parents sounds like shes talking about her past self which she got rid of and tried to hide so you could have a happy life afterwards. The drugaddicted dad is true, the mom might have smoked and drank while beeing pregnant.

she wanted to keep you and cared for you. anyways, i dont think she means any harm. I would suggest you to talk to her, might lift some feeling of guilt from her shoulders. i honestly wouldnt even be mad at her since she took care of you and you seem to be very close.

she did what she could to give you both a good live. maybe she can tell you more about the arguments with her parents so you get answers to what made her run away and all.

gyaradostwister −  I’m assuming you are in the US. It is not possible to legally adopt a baby in the circumstances you have been told. It’s not like the government just gives kids at the mall to who found them. Adoption is a long, expensive legal process.

Your adoptive parents likely know the whole story and have all along. Your adoptive parents keeping this secret and lying to you feels like a bigger betrayal. Your relative’s story is also sketch. Because Rose was found. Maybe she was never “lost.”

It’s possible the story is even worse, and there is CPS/foster care or who knows involved. This is the kind of story people who get their kids taken away tell. If you are going down this path, prepare for the story to get worse.

ExgayAlex −  It’s possible that she lied because an older sister taking care of a younger sibling might have been a more sympathetic story than a single mother with a baby. At the time she may have worried that she would be judged as promiscuous by potential foster families and rejected because of it.

In that case, she initially lied to the family that took you in, but she had to keep to the story as you grew up; the lie wasn’t meant for you. If this is the case, she did this because it improved the chances for shelter for both of you. It wouldn’t make her a bad person, just a desperate one at the time. Depending on the circumstances with her real family, of course.

[Reddit User] −  I judge a person on who they are now, not who they were. The past doesn’t matter, what matters is how we live our lives in the present. Imagine the pain she must bear every day knowing what you now know and the lengths she’s gone to better both your lives.

This revelation brings up complex emotions for the user, who is torn between the love and trust he has for Rose and the overwhelming truth he’s discovered. What would you do if you were in his shoes? How would you approach such a difficult situation? Share your thoughts below!

For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/lxsQd