I want to divorce my husband because his daughter wants me to leave?

A Reddit user shared her heartbreaking dilemma about leaving her husband due to his 12-year-old daughter’s hostility. The stepdaughter’s escalating acts of sabotage and even dangerous behavior—such as putting glass in her coffee—have left her feeling unsafe in her own home. Despite loving her husband, the user struggles with whether to stay in the marriage or prioritize her safety. Read the full story below for all the shocking details.

‘ I want to divorce my husband because his daughter wants me to leave?’

I don’t know if this fits into AITAH reddit but I need advice on what to do. I’m 34f and I’m married to 38m. We’ve been married for less than a year and I really love my husband. We are generally happy in our relationship, however, my husband has a 12 year old daughter who just can’t stand me. I don’t know how else to explain it but she wants me to leave and she’s doing everything to make it happen.

Ever since we started dating and I met his daughter she never liked me. I thought it was idk maybe because I’m dating her dad and she’s sad her parents divorced but it has gotten worse. Before we got married and we weren’t living together, I wasn’t around her really, I mean I did meet her and occasionally saw her and she was rude to me every time.

Since we moved in together and she’s been spending more time at our house than her mom’s, she started being more rude and straight up evil. She started being more openly rude to me but not around her dad, she’s just rude to me when he’s not around.

She wants to make it seem like I’m being mean to her like for example, I was working on a really important paper for my job and as I was writing last bit, I left my laptop on table and went to toilet and when I came back the whole document was gone. It was deleted from my profile on Microsoft word and even from computer memory. Even the recycle bin was empty which means someone had to completely delete it.

Me and her were the only people inside the house and her dad was outside. I asked her not did she do it, but why did she do it because she was the only one in the house and she started yelling so that her dad would hear and come back in. She said how I’m always accusing her of something and straight up lied. Her dad actually told her she cant be doing that and she went back to her room.. I still lost my paper though.

That was just one of the numerous things she did, for example, she locked me out on balcony, she put my phone in water but it survived, she hides my stuff like my car keys or things I bring with me when I have to leave the house in a rush just to make me mad.

It’s absurd honestly, most of the things are just plain annoying and not harmful but the thing that definitely made me decide to leave and divorce from her dad is when she made coffee for him and and me, which is not something she really does, at least not for me. But she made me a cup of coffee and I was confused why she was being nice.

Thankfully I jokingly thought “it must be poisoned” and stired the coffee and found a big piece of glass inside. I showed it to my husband and he was absolutely mad and yelled at her but I don’t think that’s enough for me to stay. I don’t feel safe anymore, like if I didn’t stir that coffee I would probably end up cutting my throat with glass or swallowimg it.

It’s not just a harmless prank it was really fucked up and serious this time. I already told my husband I can’t stay in the same house with her because she obviously wants me gone.

I simply don’t want to stay and I know I cant make him like leave his daughter or whatever. I think this is the only solution because I’m not going to risk her doing something more and actually hurting me this time. I’m sorry I didn’t answer to any of comments, I didn’t get any notifications from reddit so I thought nobody interacted with my post.

Last night I talked to my husband and I told him that I don’t want to live in fear and be worried she’s going to poison me next time. I was really mad and said that she needs to be sent in an asylum and things like that. We argued and while he wasn’t trying to defend what she’s doing I still think he doesn’t see this as something so insane. I told him I want a divorce and that I’m going to leave.

We argued a bit more and today I came back earlier from work and packed some of my things and left. I want to see if he will actually do anything when I actually leave and if he doesn’t, I’m just going to get a divorce and that’s it.
Thank you for replying I felt like I had to update you on this because so many people replied.

Also I forgot to add that her parents were divorced since she was like 3 or 4 years old, so it’s not like she’s mad I separated them or something. I’m addressing this because many people were asking in the replies.

Another thing I just remembered to add is that she never actually said she hates me. For example, when she deleted the document on my laptop, her dad asked her why does she hate me and why did she do it and she literally said that she doesn’t hate me and how she doesn’t have much reason to hate me, but she kept insisting she didn’t delete it. Same thing when she does other things as I said move my stuff so I can’t find it.

At first I genuinely thought I was going crazy because like why would she insist she didn’t do it. I even told her I thought it was funny she hid it just so she would admit and she kept on insisting she didn’t. But when she locked me out on the balcony I saw her do it and she did the same thing.

She kept denying that she did it, even said she was watching tv at the time and stuff. I don’t know is it to make it seem like I’m accusing her of doing things or what the hell is her problem.

I once had to pick her from school because nobody else could so I had to do it and the schools policy is you have to get out of the car and come all the way inside, the teacher is like making sure everyone went home safe ig and in front of the teacher she was acting really nice.

She was being so fake like she actually smiled said hi and even hugged me. It infuriates me how people think she’s so nice and sweet but in reality she’s a completely different person.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Beginning-Goal-8286 −  NTA. Let’s set your marriage aside for a bit. As a parent, I cannot fathom having my child put a piece of glass into someone’s coffee. I don’t care how much I hated my ex – anyone I co-parented with would immediately be contacted and this would be addressed directly and collectively by both mom and dad. This isn’t a “go to your room” situation. Your stepdaughter needs therapy to face the intense anger she feels toward you.

Your husband needs to address this immediately. This is a parenting fail. If the mother doesn’t know about it, she can’t fix it. I strongly suggest you demand that your husband calls his ex and explains the situation. If not, you should call her yourself.

Come from a place of empathy to avoid a shouting match and accusations – you are concerned for a child who is very hurt and is acting out in ways that hurt herself and those around her. The mom is likely hateful as well and is feeding the anger, but don’t assume that she is aware of how bad the situation has gotten. Whether you continue the marriage or not, you should at least contact the mother so that she is aware of her daughter’s behavior.

Back to your marriage. I think you should move out and demand that your husband join you for family therapy. Hopefully you both can convince his daughter to join. He’s either willing to step up as a father and husband or he’s not. Either way, you can’t risk staying in an unsafe home. Stay with a friend.

Fresh_Passion1184 −  NTA. His 12 year old committed attempted m**der on you with malice aforethought. She’s sick and that’s sad but you need to protect yourself first and foremost. She will try again to harm you and get sneaker about it since she got caught. You should call the police about that and let dad worry about therapy on his own.

LakeGlen4287 −  Run away! She is psychopathic and apparently neither her mother nor her father is rising to the level these circumstances call for. The girl needs mental health intervention immediately, not to be yelled at by her dad and sent to her room. She could have killed you. There is very dark psychopathy going on in her, and it is only escalating. If they do not agree to take her out of the house, I would get out somewhere safe.

SummerIceCream3893 −  There was a reddit story last year in which the step daughter did this sort of thing. The last straw was when she threw a wooden stool into the fire- it was the last thing the grandfather and her little boy made together before the grandfather passed. When the OP/mom stepped in, the girl threw hot coffee in her face.

Nothing the husband did could control his child. It happened on Xmas day and the OP’s parents were visiting- the husband left to pickup the parents when the incident happened. After OP went to the hospital she packed her and her son’s bags and left with her parents.

She got an a**rtion because she didn’t want to be tied to her ex husband because his daughter could harm the baby if he had custody, she transferred jobs and divorced him. This child is a clear danger to you. YOU NEED TO LEAVE NOW!!! NOTHING you or your husband does can protect you from a child this mentally unstable. RUN.

nonamejane84 −  The kid needs to be seen by a psychiatrist. This is NOT normal behaviour and this isn’t just a case of “I don’t like my dad’s wife”. This is psychopathic and if your husband doesn’t get her help, she will move onto someone else in the future and try to kill them. She doesn’t know how to deal with emotions, has no empathy and is reckless. Yeah, I’d leave if she doesn’t.

shammy_dammy −  Life is too short to deal with this sort of chaos and strife. He’s not worth it.

No-Duck-9574 −  The stepdaughter is unhinged. Even if she would go to therapy, it would take long before you might see improvement in her behaviour. There might not be improvement at all. And will you ever be able to trust her after she put glass into your drink, which obviously could have killed you? I understand it’s hard, because you love your husband, but in my opinion I think it’s best you divorce him. It’s not safe for you to live in a place where your stepdaughter is around.

SpiteWestern6739 −  NTA, the little psychopath tried to m**der you, run away from mess as fast as you can.

Any_Fill_625 −  This may be above Reddit’s pay grade girl.
Also, I read way too many thrillers. I’ve seen too many movies. I’ve read too many cases. This just had child psychopath written all over it.

BoxKind7321 −  You should have recorded the glass incident and then called the cops. Borderline attempted m**der. You aren’t safe.