I want to divorce my husband because his daughter wants me to leave?

In any blended family, the collision of emotions, expectations, and loyalties can sometimes feel overwhelming. This post shares one woman’s heart-wrenching dilemma: despite a loving marriage barely a year old, she is seriously considering divorce because her husband’s 12‐year‐old daughter has made it her mission to drive her away.

From subtle pranks like deleting important work documents to outright dangerous acts—such as planting a shard of glass in a cup of coffee—the daughter’s behavior has escalated from mere rudeness to potentially life‐threatening sabotage. For a woman who once thought her new family would come together in love, the constant barrage of undermining acts has left her feeling unsafe and unsupported.

Now, with her husband seemingly caught in the middle, she’s reached a breaking point: she’s packed up her things and left, determined to see if her husband will stand up for her or if divorce is the only way forward.

‘I want to divorce my husband because his daughter wants me to leave?’

When relationships are strained by persistent, harmful behavior from a child, even when that behavior is not openly aggressive in front of the parent’s partner, it can erode the very foundation of a blended family. Dr. Lisa Firestone, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains, “When a child consistently undermines a stepparent, it is often not a reflection of personal inadequacy but rather a manifestation of unresolved grief, insecurity, and the fear of losing a parent.” – Dr. Lisa Firestone

Her words resonate deeply in situations like this. The extreme acts—ranging from deleting vital work files to the near-tragic incident with the coffee cup containing a shard of glass—are not just pranks but clear signals of boundary violations that put physical and emotional safety at risk. Dr. Firestone advises that such behaviors, particularly when they escalate over time, are a red flag indicating that the child’s underlying issues have not been adequately addressed. Instead, these behaviors are allowed to fester, resulting in a hostile environment for the stepparent.

She further notes that blended families require clear boundaries and consistent communication. “It is imperative,” she states, “for both the biological parent and the stepparent to set and enforce rules that protect everyone’s well-being. If one party—especially the stepparent—feels unsafe, it is a sign that intervention is needed, either through professional family counseling or, in extreme cases, a re-evaluation of the relationship dynamics.”

In this situation, the stepparent’s decision to leave temporarily is a bold step toward reclaiming her sense of security. While her husband’s hesitation to fully support her may seem like denial or a conflict of loyalties, experts warn that failure to back a partner in moments of genuine danger can undermine the long-term health of the relationship.

Dr. Firestone emphasizes that if the environment continuously triggers fear and anxiety, it is not only unhealthy for the stepparent but can also set a damaging example for the child. Children in blended families often find themselves caught in the crossfire of loyalty conflicts—and if left unaddressed, the resulting emotional turmoil can have lasting consequences.

The expert advice here is clear: a family in which one member consistently feels threatened or belittled is not sustainable. Professional intervention is strongly recommended in such cases to work through the underlying issues. However, if repeated behavior escalates to the point where safety is compromised—as in this case—taking decisive action, even if it means pursuing divorce, may be the only viable option.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Within various online communities, opinions are mixed. Some argue that the stepdaughter’s behavior—though perhaps rooted in unresolved pain—is unacceptable and that no one should live in fear in their own home. Others feel that with proper counseling, boundaries could be reestablished without resorting to divorce. The common sentiment, however, is one of empathy for a partner who feels unsafe and unsupported, with many advising that personal well-being must come first when the environment becomes toxic.