I think I got reverse catfished last night?
A man shares his experience on Tinder where he was “reverse catfished.” After matching with a woman who was significantly larger than those he normally dates, they decided to meet up. When a beautiful woman approached him at the bar, he initially assumed she was after something, only to later find out she was the one he was waiting for.
She explained that she had lost 130lbs and wanted to ensure that men were genuinely interested in her and not just her body. The man is now unsure how to feel about being tested in this way and is uncertain how to proceed. Read the full story below for further details.
‘ I think I got reverse catfished last night?’
I matched with this girl on Tinder. She was significantly bigger than girls I normally date. But we have literally everything thing in common so I figured I’d give it a shot. So after talking for a few days we decided to meet up at this nerd bar last night.
I get there and pick a table. After waiting a few minutes this beautiful woman comes over and starts trying to flirt with me. That’s very strange so I assume she must be after something. Free drinks, drugs, my kidneys, I don’t know.
So I explain to her that I’m actually waiting for someone and I don’t want to give a bad first impression by chatting up some other woman when she walks in. That’s when she springs it on me that she’s actually the one I’m waiting for. She told me how she’s lost about 130lbs over the past couple years and she wants to make sure guys are actually interested in her and not just her body.
And she was also testing me to see if I would ditch the fat girl if someone hotter showed up. So here’s the thing, I don’t know how I feel about being “tested”. I don’t want to live my life questioning every decision I make like she might jump out from around the corner at any minute. But she’s also really attractive and very cool otherwise. I’m not sure how I should proceed.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
skeletoorr − When you’ve been that big for awhile people tend to only notice you for what’s on the inside. Suddenly losing weight and being valued for your outside can lead to some trust issues.
Can you imagine maybe that friend she had for years suddenly trying to sleep with her because she is hot now? Or maybe being ignored at work as the fat girl and now suddenly everyone wants to hear what you have to say because it comes in a pretty package.
Her outside package might have improved but she still is the same girl she was before the weight loss. She probably just wants to make sure she is valued for who she is not what she looks like.
n8_swag_711 − Good on you for giving it a shot not based on looks but based on the things you have in common. Sometimes the most amazing people are overlooked based on how they appear. It’s your lucky day though if she’s shown up looking immaculate.
I understand your concern but also understand her perspective, I bet she’s experienced some horrible people in her time and she probably feels that anyone would brush her off for the next best thing.. Hope it goes well for you.
didntstarthefire − I mean the photos she posted WERE of herself. So idk. It’s like a soft cat fishing. I say go for it. A girl who doesn’t want to get somewhere with her looks and just wanted to be loved for who she is? I would take it
NURMeyend − I mean, I don’t really blame her. It’s tough out there.. I think you should look past it.
belgiantwatwaffles − I can understand why she did it, I lost a ton of weight and all of a sudden people wanted to hang out with me. When I gained the weight back, I learned that my true friends are the ones that like you no matter your size.
gettingonmewick − I think if you really feel weird about being tested you should be up front. Tell her that pretty much everything you’ve said in this post. Just get it out in the open. Have an interesting conversation about it. I’m sure she will tell you about how hard it was to date as a bigger woman and give you a little insight into what was going on in her head.
Don’t just keep it in and quietly worry about what deception or tests might await you if you guys actually enter into a relationship. Be gentle but be honest. If she is willing to address your concerns then you will know she’s worth it. If your feelings are dismissed then it’s time to move on.
warriorwoman96 − I think you should mark this as a win and continue. Let this one go. Girls get a lot of s**t about their bodies so I’m not surprised she was trying to figure out who you were ahead of time.
8888toronto − How is it different from dudes who initially hide their wealth to avoid “gold diggers”? She doesn’t want to get used for her body/looks; I wouldn’t call that a silly test.
okramzor − You got fishcatted
shiratama_dango − She’s an attractive girl. It must be awful trying to find genuine, honest people especially when everyone is souped up on their profiles and first dates. Sadly there’s a ton of guys who treat attractive women really well while hiding the s**tty way they would treat anyone else. You struck gold. She’s witty, smart, and shares a lot of common interests. Why not give it some time and get to know her better?
It’s tough when expectations and trust are tested early on in a relationship. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation or been “tested” by a partner in this way? How did you handle it? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments below.