I [M28] Just broke up with my girlfriend over something she [F27] posted on Facebook. Justified? Did I overreact?

A Redditor just ended his relationship after discovering multiple Facebook posts his girlfriend shared, seemingly about their relationship issues. The posts, shared during minor arguments, made him feel unappreciated and as if she was considering someone else. He confronted her, but she dismissed them as meaningless. Unable to shake the feeling, he decided to break up with her. Was he justified, or did he overreact? Read the original story below…

‘ I [M28] Just broke up with my girlfriend over something she [F27] posted on Facebook. Justified? Did I overreact?’

About 2 weeks ago we had a minor argument. It started in the morning, we paused the conversation for the day while we went to work, then talked about it that night. We both got kinda heated but eventually agreed that we were arguing about something ridiculous, and reached a compromise, and everything seemed fine.

Fast forward to tonight. We’re laying in bed and I realize I never accepted her Facebook friend request. I literally never use Facebook, so this wasn’t a point of contention or anything. But we weren’t doing anything else so I decided to accept the request and check out her Facebook (She was right next to me the whole time).

What I found really upset me. Multiple shared posts that were obviously in reference to our relationship. They were just pictures of text that she had shared, not actually written herself. The first one I found was this: “Hey, here’s a cool concept: treat the people that are important to you… Like they are important to you…” I think “Hmm, is this about me?” I feel like I make her feel important all the time.

I drive 30 minutes to her house every single day. She had a birthday and I did all the things that you would expect: Multiple presents, dinner, I offered a movie and drinks but she felt sick and we didn’t go. I often buy her things just because. I offer her lunch nearly every day to show I’m thinking about her… Ok, maybe I’m overreacting on that one I think.

That post could be about anything or anyone, so I keep scrolling. I see another one: “If you push me away, I promise you, you won’t find me where you left me”… Hmm, this one obviously sounds like she’s talking about our relationship. And I was a bit upset at seeing it. Especially considering I never felt like I was pushing her away. I spend literally every free moment I have with her.

She got upset that I wanted some alone time. She says she doesn’t desire it, doesn’t understand why I need it, so I pretty much did away with my private time to spend more time with her. We are constantly doing things together, and make plans to do things and go places. I never felt like I was pushing her away. If anything, I felt like I spent most of my free time trying to think of things we could do together.

I keep scrolling, and I found the one that hurt me the most: “Don’t be mad when someone else starts to appreciate the person you took for granted. What you won’t do, someone else will.” That one absolutely killed me. I never thought I was taking her for granted. And the thought of her not feeling appreciated kinda floored me.

On top of that, the implication is that she wants to find someone else who apparently appreciates her more than I do… I confronted her about these posts. She said they don’t mean anything. That she didn’t even think about it, and that it took less than a second to hit the share button, so it’s not a big deal.

I took a bit to collect my thoughts, and then I went back through our text messages to each other. Turns out that every single one of these posts was made when we were in the midst of an argument/spat. That last one, the one that hurt me so much, was shared by her during the day after we had the minor argument and before we had talked it out that night.

It just felt so terrible. Like, we have a very minor disagreement about something and you’re thinking about finding someone else? That’s what it seems like to me. Am I out of my mind for thinking that? She made me feel like I was. She said I was overreacting. That she felt that way in the moment, but not now. But I can’t stop myself from thinking “If you feel this way after a minor argument, how must you feel after a serious one?”.

Then there is the whole issue of airing out our dirty laundry to anyone that happens to be friends with her on Facebook. Anyone with a brain knows what those posts are about. By sharing them, you are essentially announcing to the world “I’m having relationship problems!!!”.

I can’t help but think about the things her family and mutual friends must think about our relationship considering how often she is sharing things like that (They were all posted within this past month). To an outsider, I must seem like a f**king a**hole. Not treating her right. Not respecting her. Not making her feel important.

I just felt disgusted. I felt like I was going to vomit. I just kept seeing the words “What you won’t do, someone else will”. I know she didn’t write them. But she thought them. She agreed with them. She broadcast them to the world. I told her I knew myself well enough to know I wouldn’t forget it.

That anytime we had any minor argument, I would be thinking “Guess she’s gonna go find someone who respects her more than I do”. I don’t think I could deal with it. Knowing that anytime we fight, she is having these feelings. Instead of wanting to work it out, she is thinking about finding a new partner…

I broke up with her within an hour of seeing the posts. It was ugly. I feel bad. I feel tired. I’ve had no sleep and I have to work in like 3 hours. I don’t even know why I’m posting this. The relationship is over. Maybe I overreacted, maybe I was justified. I just know it felt right.

See what others had to share with OP:

[Reddit User] −  [F] I’m going against the grain here but if your girlfriend is 27 and posting that kinda s**t on her Facebook, she sounds pretty immature. I don’t think you’re overreacting. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who thought that was appropriate conduct.

Druidette −  She’s 27 and doing what I would expect a 13 year old to do? Come on, you made the right call, if this is how she handles small confrontations, how do you expect her to handle anything difficult in her life? She sounds extremely immature, looking for sympathy/attention on Facebook is pretty much a red flag for me, no respecting partner does that. Good for you man, I hope you find someone that’s right for you.

YethFaru −  Honestly, I feel like these type of FB posts are super dumb and belong in r/im14andthisisdeep. If breaking up felt right, it was probably the right thing to do although I would not have gotten so upset about them. I, too, have some acquaintances who post “deep” sh*t like that and I honestly couldn’t care less.

But I guess you dodged a bullet. She seems like the type of person who would start posting minion quotes and once you start posting minion quotes, you are going down a dark path of no return… Edit: Fixed my typo about the subreddit.

EdWilkinson −  I just know it felt right. Often, when you feel that at the end of the relationship, the actual reason was more like the final straw. Good call mate.

IthurielSpear −  It’s not even the vaguebooking that’s the biggest issue. At only 7 months in, why are you arguing so much?

MaddogOIF −  There’s three red flags going up here. First, is her willingness to air dirty laundry. Second is her constant victim mentality. Obviously she sees every disagreement as a personal attack. The third is how she’s even willing to allow the thoughts of another person over an argument. Sounds like a precursor to trying to justify cheating to me.

[Reddit User] −  So what does her newest post say, after you broke up with her?

DrexP −  7 months and had been through a lot of issues? this is supposed to be the “honeymoon period”. After reading the OP, it’s probably due to her and her issues.

Captain-Napalm-USMC −  I am more worried about all that arguing. If you fight this much at 7 months, I would say you guys were fucked as a couple anyway. Move on and find someone you don’t fight with.

[Reddit User] −  This was one of the reasons I couldn’t deal with my ex anymore. It’s like a “Grass is greener on the other side” sort of thing. She went to the other side and found the grass was pretty f**king n**ty. No way in hell I’ll take her back.

Do you think sharing passive-aggressive posts about a relationship is a red flag, or was he too quick to end things? Should relationship issues be kept private, or is venting on social media normal? Share your thoughts below!