I (M24) found out my daughter isn’t mine and I’m soon to wed my Fiance (25F)

A Redditor from a relationship subreddit shared a devastating situation about discovering their daughter is not biologically theirs just weeks before their wedding. The Redditor’s fiancée, Sarah, confessed to an old friend that she might have been with someone else while they were together, raising doubts about the paternity of their daughter.

After a paternity test, it was confirmed that the Redditor is not the father, and they are now struggling with the heartbreak of raising someone else’s child and feeling betrayed by their fiancée. With their wedding approaching, they are unsure how to proceed. Read the original story below…

‘ I (M24) found out my daughter isn’t mine and I’m soon to wed my Fiance (25F)’

About a month ago an old friend of my fiance came and told me my daughter might not be mine (1yr). She told me Sarah(fiance, fake name) confessed to her shortly after finding out she was pregnant that it might not be mine because at the time she had been sleeping with one other guy. Now that we are going to get married soon, she just couldn’t keep this to herself and felt the need to tell me.

Well I obviously didn’t take the news well, because everything she said contradicted the person I knew for 5 years, faithful, honest and loving. However, that doubt didn’t go away and I ended up going through with a paternity test. I’m not her father, as you can imagine has broken my heart, I’m still coming to terms to the news.

It explains why she suddenly got pregnant, despite the protection I was using, but I just assumed things happen and it is what it is (a**rtion was out of the question). At this point, I’m not sure where to go in life.

The wedding is two weeks away at this point, family is coming, everything is paid for, my daughter, who I love, turns out isn’t mine at all and I’ve been raising someone else’s kid, I’m about to marry a woman who I can’t bring myself to look at anymore, I’m at a loss. I’m not sure what advice Reddit can offer, but I don’t know who else to turn to..

This update: [Update] I (M24) found out my daughter isn’t mine and I’m soon to wed my Fiance (25F)

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

[Reddit User] −  If I’m reading this correctly, you’ve been with your fiancee for 5 years, and you just found out that your 1 year old daughter isn’t yours? So, ~~4~~ 3.25 years into your relationship, your “faithful, honest” girlfriend was sleeping with someone else, and got pregnant, and hid how it happened from you, and let you believe the baby was yours all the way through the pregnancy and the first year?.

That is Fucked up. Capital F. There’s not point going through with the wedding at this point. Even if you have lost a s**t ton of money on a wedding that shouldn’t happen, there’s no reason to compound that with future financial losses to a pair of divorce lawyers. Edit: thanks for all the corrections on my sucky maths.

Herdnerfer −  Don’t get married, 100% sure you’ll regret it.

33saywhat33 −  Dude, look up sunk cost fallacy. Do what you would do if wedding was next summer.. D**p her!!!

nevagonnachange −  Dude….. she made you use protection and not him…. think about it…. Run and never look back

[Reddit User] −  Bro, your life is still beginning. Don’t write yourself off with someone you can no longer trust who can betray you just as easily as it is to blink. You may feel embarrassed or whatever as its all paid for an planned, people will ask questions etc.

BUT, family is family, friends are friends. They will be there for you. It will take time, but I promise your biggest mistake will be going through with the wedding. Background: My good family friend was in the same situation 2 years ago.

WayneHowAreYouNow −  You’re an absolute fool if you don’t immediately d**p her and run far away. Let the actual father raise that kid.

0359724 −  That’s terrible. Do yourself a favor and never marry this woman. She was willing to let you raise another mans baby. She is the most wicked of women. You are very young and will have a great future with the right person. She’s not that person. Get the ring back. See a lawyer if your name is on the birth certificate.

StripesMaGripes −  If you don’t get married, regardless if your name is on the birth certificate or not, and regardless if you want to maintain a relationship or not with the child, you need to contact a family law lawyer about her. If you want to maintain a relationship, you need to take actions to make sure that the mother can’t take unilateral actions with the biological father to have your parental rights severed.

Regardless if you signed the birth certificate or not, you have acted as a father for the child’s whole life and that gives you certain legal rights to maintain that relationship.. On the flip side; If you want to end the relationship with the child, you will likely have a fight to end your responsibilities towards them.

After acting as a father towards them for a year, the court will consider you their father, regardless of biology or if your name is on the birth certificate. Unless the biological father is willing to take on the parental rights and responsibilities,

the courts will be hesitant to severe your parental rights and responsibilities as it would leave the child with only one parent, which is not in the child’s best interest. It’s a difficult and s**tty situation either way. Contacting a lawyer is going to be a must.

CrackPipeQueen −  Well obviously your relationship with your fiancé is over. You know in your heart you won’t ever be able to get over this, and that’s okay. Now you have to decide whether you want to be apart of this child’s life. You truly do not have to be. If you decided to up and leave her and the child, you would not be in the wrong.

It’s rough, sure, but she destroyed any chance of a healthy relationship when she decided to cheat on you, lie to you about the baby, then continue to let you believe the baby is yours so you’d have to help take care of her. That is insanely wrong of her.

I’m gonna stress again, you have zero obligation to take care of this child. You need to confront her and show her your evidence. She’ll probably beg for forgiveness and beg you to stay, but I suggest you start packing up your s**t and leaving. She’ll be desperate for help especially with the child, but don’t let this get to you. She made her bed, now she’s gotta sleep in it. You deserve much better than this.

Edit: I want to add that if you love your daughter and consider her your own, tell that to your fiancé. You can still try to be apart of your daughters life without being with your fiancé, BUT be prepared that your fiancé might not let you be apart of your daughters life if you choose to leave her.

Danglin_Fury −  Bro….she f**king trapped you with a kid….and it’s not your kid…damn….leave that b**ch.

The Redditor’s heartache is palpable, and the uncertainty surrounding their future is difficult to navigate. How do you think one should move forward in a situation like this, especially with so many lives intertwined? Should they go through with the wedding or reevaluate their relationship? Share your thoughts below and offer your advice or perspective on how to handle such a heartbreaking discovery.