I let my 12m son make himself something to eat. Aitah?

A Reddit user describes a conflict with her boyfriend over allowing her 12-year-old son to occasionally cook his own meals. While the user appreciates her son’s budding independence and interest in cooking.

Her boyfriend disapproves, claiming it undermines the household’s structure. Read the full story below and decide: is she enabling her son or fostering valuable skills?

‘ I let my 12m son make himself something to eat. Aitah? ‘

I 34f life with my 44m boyfriend, with my 12m kid. (Not his father) on occasion, my son likes to cook his own dinner, using whatever ingredients i was using. (Cooking chicken for dinner he wanted to season and cook it differently that what i was making).

My 44m boyfriend has a huge problem with it (amongst other things) my boyfriend has a habit of telling me i let my son do whatever he wants and refuses to see anything any other way. Its constantly “why cant he just eat whats made for dinner” its not all the time my son does this,its maybe once or twice a month.

hes a pretty good eater of my dinners even when they arent the best. On top of it, my son cooks himself breakfast every morning before school, usually 2 eggs a peice of toast and carmelized onions.

(Idk hes on a onion kick) and my boyfriend hates it. Please reassure me my boyfriends being rediculous. But aitah for letting my kid cook for himself sometimes?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

RevolutionaryDiet686 −  NTA Cooking is a life skill your son needs. It’s great that he is being creative with his diet. Tell the BF to step back and shut up.

grayblue_grrl −  WTF is this dude still in your house demanding your time and energy over something so stupid. Picking at your kid and how you raise him? 44 years old and thinks a 12 year old shouldn’t cook?

He should be minding his own business and stop making your kid uncomfortable in his own house.. Does this man cook?. Does he do laundry?. Can he clean a toilet?. I bet money he does not.

Historical_Brick7383 −  Your boyfriend is a complete d**k! You need to protect your 12yr old and d**p this clown. He’s actually jealous of your son and this is going to get worse. Pls don’t let him dictate your relationship with your son.

Illustrious-While240 −  YTA. But for letting this a**hole harass you and your child.

deadbwalking −  Your boyfriend sounds like he has control issues, and it will likely only get worse.

KathAlMyPal −  NTA. What you have is an independent, self sufficient pre teen. You also have a childish, immature 44 year old bf. I’d d**p the chump. He’s not your son’s father. He doesn’t get a say in this…especially something so trivial. Why are you putting up with this?

NickDanger3di −  I dated a woman with kids 10 and 12 yo. About once a week she declared a ‘Fend For Yourself Night’ where the kids made whatever they wanted. It worked out great for everyone.

Her kids were the most responsible and well rounded I’ve ever seen, before or since. Your BF is interfering with your children’s emotional and intellectual development. Tell him to stop it.

nepheleb −  You are fine. Your son is fine (and will be able to feed himself when he’s out on his own as adult)
Your boyfriend is either dealing with some childhood trauma or he’s just an i**ot.

NHFNCFRE −  I have a feeling that BF believes that cooking is woman’s work, and that you’re somehow making your kid gay by allowing it. Not sure what exactly is triggering those thoughts, and there’s nothing wrong with being gay, and some of the most famous chefs in the world are men, but that’s the vibe i’m getting.

Let me guess, BF doesn’t cook at all? I wonder if BF is making other comments or treating your son badly when you’re not around.. NTA, though, let that kid cook.

NationalSize7293 −  Break up with your boyfriend. He sounds detrimental to your son’s mental health and well being. A 12 yr old should know how to cook. Continue to nurture his passion of cooking. You may have a future famous chef!

Is the boyfriend being unreasonable about the son’s cooking, or should the mother reconsider her approach? Do you think fostering cooking skills at a young age is beneficial, or could it disrupt family dynamics? Share your opinions below!