I feel like my husband (26m) puts things off until I (26f) end up handling things myself.

A Reddit user opened up about her struggles with a husband who seems to procrastinate on important tasks, leaving her feeling burdened and disheartened. While excited about their fresh start during a big move.

Her hopes are dashed by unmet promises and repeated patterns. Seeking advice, she wonders if couples therapy could help or if she should let go. Read the original story below for more insights.

‘ I feel like my husband (26m) puts things off until I (26f) end up handling things myself.’

My husband and I have had a rocky relationship. It’s been 3 years since we’ve been married, and I always hoped it would get a bit easier. I feel like we’ve tried a lot of different things to improve our relationship, but I often find myself feeling defeated and sad because it seems like nothing will ever change.

Right now we’re in the process of moving. I stayed behind to finish things up at our house and he’s gone ahead to start working. We’re literally starting from scratch. I sold everything, including our cars. We have to have a car, so I asked him to buy a car and have it ready for us once I’m ready to move.

He’s met me with so many excuses and I’m just tired. I’m finally flying to meet him next week, and there’s still no car. It’s been a month. He mentioned to me off hand the other day that he was planning on buying a car once I fly in… but doesn’t that defeat the purpose? All I asked was that he had one ready for when I arrived.

I really don’t want to go car shopping the second I get off the plane. I was excited and hopeful about the move- we talked about how things were going to change and he seemed so motivated- but now I feel defeated again. I don’t even feel angry anymore… what was I expecting?

I’m not sure what advice I’m looking for. We get along pretty well when there aren’t any big life decisions involved. He’s a nice guy, I just don’t trust him to take any responsibility in the relationship.

I guess, has anyone been in a similar relationship? How did it go? When was it finally enough for you? Is there anything that can change?
I’m really interested in starting couples therapy, but I’m afraid of putting effort into something that might not even work.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

dr-ball-legs −  It’s always the “3 year update” where people are like “wow looking back i can’t believe I stayed for so long, i was unhappy and unloved etc”. It makes me wonder just how many of my friends could be in really miserable relationships that just are blind to everything or in denial.

peter095837 −  He then asked me if I would forge his signature on the divorce documents because I “was basically forcing him to do it anyways”. . Oh f**k off to that tosser!

CultureInner3316 −  Commenters who begin with “I didn’t read the original post” should not be commenting. Either read the post or move along. But for her to think maintaining a full-time job is above and beyond… Good night…

serenity561 −  I always wonder how these useless partners fare after the partner that was doing 100% of the labor finally leaves them. Do they immediately find a new victim to latch on to?

SmartQuokka −  Blaming the OOP for micromanaging… 🙄 Too many people love to victim blame to defend dirtbags 😒

matchamagpie −  If my husband told a salesperson  “I’m sorry my wife is making this so difficult”, I would have walked out of the store. What a small trash can of a man OOP’s ex is.

CharlotteLucasOP −  She said he was nice but nothing she described him doing sounded nice. In fact, he sounded more and more like a child and an a**hole.

alonelycellist −  Wow why would you choose those comments at the end? She successfully dumps the incompetent l**er and then it still ends on a downer when the classic Reddit incel commentators come out to say “it was your fault anyway”!

CummingInTheNile −  weaponized incompetence with a taste of emotional abuse

BlueNoyb −  you can’t ask a partner to make more decisions and take more initiative on their own and then micromanage them when they try.  You can. But regardless, that’s not what she did.

Asking a question isn’t micromanaging. And having to take over because hubby has gone to great lengths to ensure he fails and doesn’t ever have to do anything again, is not micromanaging. Enabling, maybe.

Do you think couples therapy could help bridge their communication gap, or are the issues too deeply rooted to resolve? How would you approach a situation where trust and shared responsibilities are lacking? Share your thoughts below!

For those who want to read the next part: https://aita.pics/cAEED