I F33 want to divorce my husband M42 because he wants to spend all sundays at his parents’

A woman (33F) is contemplating divorce because her husband (42M) insists on spending every Sunday at his parents’ house, often sleeping in his old room. Over the years, he promised this routine would change after they married and had a child, but he continues to prioritize Sundays at his parents’ home, leaving her feeling neglected. She’s exhausted from fighting over it and feels like she and their toddler deserve a partner who truly wants to be present. Read the full story below.

‘ I F33 want to divorce my husband M42 because he wants to spend all sundays at his parents’’

Am I being unreasinable here? How can We fix this ? My husband ‘M42´ and I ´F33´ have been together for 5 years , married for 3, We have 1 child.. We are overall doing Ok. But he wants to spend 1 day/week or even sleep at his parents house in his old room .

This has been going on from the beginning , at first it was « I am taking advantage of my last months as an unmarried man » then « since you don’t need me now, but I’ll be here if you are pregnant or have a child » and then it was « when the baby’s here I won’t leave » then « once the baby is grown and misses me » and now here we are : we have a toddler who requests their dad all the time.. And I miss him too.

We both work and the weekend we must run errands and do things. And usually we have some Time to relax and unwind and Watch movies and take a slow breakfast and play with toddler on sundays… but he rushes away to relax elsewhere because he says he needs his time to relax.

We always fight about it and I am done fighting. To me it seems like being in our home is a job or is a burden he has to go back to his parents’ to relax from. it seems to me like his real home is with his parents and that I am holding him hostage.

I hate even the fact that he wants to go. I am just over having the same fight every week, so I am considering breaking it off. I think my child and I deserve someone who wants to be with us. I have nothing against my inlaws and they are not the ones instigating it. They aren’t even at their house this weekend. He thinks and says I am being tyranical and I already have him 6 days/week.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

eggios −  It sounds like it’s got nothing to do with spending time with his parents, instead he gets to avoid any responsibility for a whole day/night You should start taking the whole Saturday for yourself and see how that goes

Actiaslunahello −  Make him stay there for a week to test out a separation. If you both like it more, divorce. He can’t just abandon the family once a week because he wants to be a little boy again.

Charming_Garbage_161 −  My ex wanted to see his family every weekend for 8+ hours a day. There were times we went and spent 11 hours there. I put a stop to it mostly and limited to once a month, he switched it to him going out golfing or racing or karting or whatever else it was for him to escape his duties as a father and husband.

It switched to him going out for 12 hours after I had 6 surgeries, ear drum ruptured once, and when our kids were sick. And progressed to him not coming for our daughter’s surgery. Where is your husband going to stop do you think? Bc I never expected mine to be such an a**hole until it happened.

We’re divorcing for many reasons but the biggest imo is that he never put me and our kids first, he still doesn’t. You can talk to your husband now and ask him when he’s going to stop putting himself first all the time bc let’s be real that is what he’s doing. He’s being selfish.

If he doesn’t have an answer then tell him he can stay there until he has a satisfactory answer and tell his family why. Don’t hide the reasons from anyone, it’s going to have them show their true colors regarding you and your kids. I am much happier divorcing my high conflict ex than I ever was with his unsupportive self.

Unrivaled_Apathy −  What would happen if you left on Friday night & came home Saturday night so you could get a break??

Ruthless_Bunny −  If you divorce he’ll have at least alternate weekends. Stop going to the hardware store for milk. You want different things. He doesn’t WANT to do things as a family. He wants YOU to do the childcare, and when he wants rest, he wants his parents to cater to his nonsense. You want different things as a family and he’s not willing to provide it

I suppose you could go to counseling. At least to give it one last try, and I suspect you’ll realize that this man doesn’t envision family life as you do. At least in counseling if divorce is the answer, you can both be civil and come up with a parenting plan that works for you.

OkPhilosopher1313 −  Are you 100% sure he’s going to his parents and isn’t having a side chick?

emilouwho687 −  What would happen if you and your child started joining him? He goes, you go. Then it’s not an escape anymore.

AHeroToIdolize −  They aren’t even at their house this weekend.. … ???? To me this screams cheating and if you’re already thinking of leaving there’s probably other issues at play here.

Afraid-Survey-2812 −  You are right. You deserve someone who will choose to be with you and your child. You deserve better. It’s also really weird that he goes there when his parents aren’t even there. Are you sure that’s where he’s going and what he’s doing.

jenncc80 −  Do you think his parents’ find it odd he leaves his wife and toddler every weekend? There’s some deep rooted issue within your husband to make him leave y’all to stay at his mommy and daddy’s house once a week. The longer it continues his absence will start to affect y’all’s child. Kids pick up on things a lot more than adults give them credit for.

Is it reasonable to want your partner to spend all weekends at home with the family, or should spouses have the freedom to spend time with their parents? How would you handle this situation? Share your thoughts below!