I (F28) moved in and immediately caused a problem with my neighbors (F50, F50, M50) by not letting them use my yard anymore.

A woman (28F) recently moved into a property she purchased from an estate and immediately encountered conflict with her neighbors (50sF, 50sF, 50sM). The neighbors had used her property for lake access in the past, a practice started by the previous owners who didn’t enforce any boundaries.

After the new owner moved in, she closed off the access due to issues with her dog and a scratched van, but the neighbors have persistently demanded access, citing a supposed “grandfathered” easement.

She’s received a barrage of messages and feels caught between enforcing her property rights and trying to maintain peace with her neighbors. She seeks advice on how to manage the situation and whether there’s a diplomatic solution.

‘ I (F28) moved in and immediately caused a problem with my neighbors (F50, F50, M50) by not letting them use my yard anymore. ‘

This started over the summer, is continuing, so sourcing some outside approaches to dealing with these relationships. Last year I purchased a property from the estate of a couple who had owned it for 50 plus years.

As they got older, they spent less and less time there, by the time they passed they hadn’t lived on site for almost a decade. The property is heavily wooded with lake access from the back of the lot, and was in need of serious TLC.

Because of the woods and the distance between the lots, I didn’t expect to see much of my neighbors, but at first I had people stopping by all the time telling me how great it was that I was cleaning up and renovating the property.

Awesome, I work from home so it was nice to see the people living reasonably around me. So all fine until the last steps, pouring a concrete pad for my van and finishing the fencing. I hadn’t moved in yet, but once the extra driveway and pad were added, I parked my van.

When I returned for the final move in, there was a massive gouge down the length of it, as if someone had squeezed another vehicle by or dragged something else large by it. Anyway, moved myself and my dog in, and because of the dog and the incident with the scratched van, I closed the gates.

By doing so, I cut off access to the lake through my property. It appears the neighbors have been using my entryway and side yard to get down to the water for awhile, as the old owners were never here to care. I started getting notes and knocks on the door about the problem I had suddenly caused.

I don’t mind the occasional neighborhood kid knocking on the door to cut through, but this was NONSTOP. Not kidding, like three to four groups a day and they were not always terribly polite about it.

I was even asked to move my van and vehicle so people could back boats down the drive (I’m now assuming that’s how my van got gouged). I start by explaining I have a dog and the normal reasons for having a fence, but have been met with pretty intense criticism that I’m changing how things have “always worked around here.”

Last straw for me was people opening the gate on their own and then getting upset that my dog was “loose” in the yard. I finally acted by putting up a no trespassing sign, a sign indicating that the dog was in the yard, locks,

and an intercom by my doorbell so when people ring I can tell them I’m working and not have to come down to the door five times. Even though the summer season has come and gone, I’m still getting a steady barrage of notes and voicemail messages telling me that access to the lake is “grandfathered in” as the previous owners allowed it and it’s been going on forever.

These letters and voicemails are coming from two houses specifically (a woman in her fifties and a couple about the same age) who claim they represent the rest of the neighbors and the homeowners association (although when I purchased my property there wasn’t a single thing about neighborhood covenants or an actual, organized, homeowners association).

Sometimes the letters and voicemails take on a more formal approach, other times they’re just informing me how bad of a person I am for “ruining the neighborhood.”

My attorney assures me this claimed easement is absolutely not a thing, but these are people I’ll presumably be living nearby for a long time, and I’d prefer to be on at least neutral terms. Is there a way to deal with this that I’m missing?

Check out how the community responded:

[Reddit User] −  Wow that’s terrible and incredibly unfortunate. Have you talked to your lawyer about the harassment? Also, what’s the local PD like?

10before15 −  You are not in the wrong. I had a very similar issue with my property. We went through the same troubles and did exactly what you’re doing. Folks got the hint after the end of the 2nd swim season. They will not like you for it, but those folks do not keep up your property or pay your taxes. Never give an inch, or they will take a mile.

fiery_valkyrie −  Honestly, the fact that they damaged your property before you even moved in and that nobody has owned up to the damage or offer to pay to have it rectified would have me steaming. Personally I say f**k them and their entitled attitude.

If they had approached you politely and respectfully from the start then sure you could have been open to negotiating something, but this is just harassment and b**lying (not to mention the property damage). Plus endangering your pet. F**k them.

pfak −  Ignore them. Don’t engage. They’ll never like you even if you’re doing nothing wrong.

macimom −  Security cameras in case some i**ot decides to scratch your van again.

tossaway78701 −  There must be another way down to the water. Sure, it’s probably a little further down the road but you might try mailing or posting a map to the nearest access. 

bienie2019 −  Have your attorney send them each a “Cease and Desist” letter, outlining the consequences to continued harassment and trespassing.

Lurker_the_Pip −  It’s good you have consulted an attorney. You may want to get additional insurance coverage in case one of them gets hurt trespassing.
Find out how to protect yourself from that! Post photos of the damage to your vehicle and fence and a note saying you legally can’t allow trespassers on private property.. It’s the best you can do.

cloverthewonderkitty −  No one has fessed up to scratching your vehicle and yet they are all still expecting free access to your property? They’ve disrespected you and your property, I’d remain civil with these people but not friendly.

They have no right to continue on as they have been, these folks need to check their privilege and attitude. I’d stop responding to the knocks on the door and set up security cameras. If it continues next season I’d get your lawyer to send out cease and desist letters (or whatever the proper equivalent is for this situation) to the most vocal and egregious offenders.

hey have begun this neighbor relationship on the wrong foot – damaging your property, disrespecting your land and putting your dog in danger. *they’ve* made this whole thing uncivil and you’ve been put on defense. Don’t give in to these entitled brats.

waxingtheworld −  If there’s one thing I’ve learned from other subs it’s that you need a) cameras b) a motion censored and/or wifi controlled sprinkler. I would add a sign warning that your premises are monitored by cameras. I would also add another layer of lock for your gate.

But you’re in a small community, SO if you have the funds, I’d also find the neighbourhood sort of sweetheart project – library, food bank etc. and make regular donations that aren’t anonymous. You’ll slowly win counter whispers to the scuttlebutt. “She cut off our access to the lake!” “She donated more to the food closet than you Frank.”