I (F25) found out my fiance (M27) is with me for money/family business

A Redditor shared a heartbreaking discovery about her fiancé, who she thought loved her for who she was, not her wealth. After overhearing a conversation with his friends, she now questions his intentions and is struggling with feelings of betrayal and uncertainty. Read her full story below to learn more about her dilemma.

‘ I (F25) found out my fiance (M27) is with me for money/family business’

To preface. My family owns a business that is very well known in our sector and makes loads of profit. Thus I am a trustfund baby. I try to not be spoiled and have always worked myself. I met my fiance Mark when I was 20 and working as a waitress. We began dating a few moths later and he proposed to me last year.

Now mark is not poor. He is upper middle class. And while he doesn’t struggle in life he didn’t have to much to spend and lived very frugal. I thought he was an honest man because he always wanted to pay for his own things, reject expensive family holidays when we were still dating and he would cook for me instead of going with me dining outside. What I want to say is that I never had the impression that Mark was trying to take advantage of me or my family.

In the beginning my family was a little sketched out and brought up the “gold digger” argument and I stood up for him and fought with my dad. They came to love and accept him. When Mark graduated Dad hired him and now he is in a high earning position.

Sunday I was supossed to work in the evening and I was going to stay with my sister. But I got a fever and was basically just non functioning so I stayed home. Instead of staying in our bedroom I made my way to the guestroom that is better ventilated, has a mini fridge and it’s own bathroom (I didn’t want to stand up at all and walk arround so I just bunkered all my stuff there and closed the door).

Mark came home when I was fast asleep and I was woken up by loud voices in our garden. I pushed the curtains a bit to the side and mark Was there with a few friends. Just as I wanted to say hello I noticed that they were talking about me.

His friend kept laughing and calling Mark “the man!”. Then they started laughing about me being willing to not sign a prenub. Then one of the girls that was there said something along the lines of “Jesus you about to make some bank mark!”. Mark laughed and said “yeah just 3 more years and I am free”.

At this moment I felt sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up. I kept hearing them calling me trust fund Barbie and stupid and so on. I didn’t know what to do so I just lied petrified in my bed and waited till the people left and mark went to bed. I texted my sister and snuck out to her place in the middle of the night and just passed out without telling her anything. I haven’t returned home and just told Mark that I was sick and didn’t want to make him sick.y

My sister has been really worried but I just feel so ashamed about everything. My family was right mark is a gold digger and I fell for it. Even if I tell my family what happened I have no proof. My father can’t fire him just because he is a d**k. As far as I know he is excellent at what he does and he has no legal foot to fire him I think. I just feel so confused ashamed and angry and would appriceate some insight.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

SnigaeF −  Change things up on him. Tell him you’ve thought it over, and would want to sign a prenup. Watch his reaction. Then leave his sorry ass.

polarphucka −  This is an ugly calculated act of betrayal. Tell your dad…this guy intends to harm your entire family.

Gavroche15 −  “Mark, trust fund barbie here. Just wanted to drop a quick note to ‘the man’ as your friends were calling you in the garden. I know you told your friends that just 3 more years and you are free. Don’t worry, about the three more years. You are free right now. On a positive note, no worry about a prenup now, since we aren’t getting married!”

As for firing him, I am sure your father can figure something out. Tell everything to them. You don’t need to be embarrassed at all. You family will protect you. And trust me, any boss can find a reasonable excuse to fire someone. Edit: thanks for the shiny metal fellow Redditor

sunflower1940 −  Don’t tell him you know yet. Pull your money out of any joint accounts, get off any credit cards, etc. Then ditch him and lawyer up just in case. What is this “3 more years” thing he’s talking about? Is that when your trust fund pays out? Thank God you didn’t marry him.

[Reddit User] −  Don’t confront Mark. Confess to your father what is happening. I am 100 percent sure your father can find a way of firing him if Mark doesn’t know, that you know. If you don’t know then there is no reason for him to fight back legally. As to how will your father fire him, well society is very unfair with its ways and Mark has been very malevolent towards you and your family, I think its only fair you fight back with malevolence. After that is done, leave him for some other reason, it can be as psychotic as you like. You can even tell him you don’t like his small pepe.

[Reddit User] −  First contact a lawyer. Second contact a therapist – you will need support. Third kick him out.

JKR_Pamalam −  This isn’t the first time he and his friends have talked about you in this way. It’s the first you have heard of it. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Please OP, leave this person. Don’t allow yourself to get trapped in a loveless marriage.
If you marry Mark, not only will you be unhappy, your relationship will be the example your future children will see. Your sons will treat their partners the way Mark treats you. Your daughters will expect to be treated as you are. Talk to your parents. Your family will rally around you.

hartleigh93 −  I’m so sorry! How dare he use you! You deserve better than that. Tell your family. They love you and will want to be there for you. I guarantee they will be supportive. Sounds like they’ve only wanted to look out for you from the start. D**p this a**hole! You don’t owe him any reason or explanation either. Byyyyeeee! Go no contact. Focus on yourself and do what makes you happy! Do you live in a right to work state assuming you’re in the US? If so your dad doesn’t need a reason to fire him. And even if he’s still employed by your dad you don’t have to be with him!

The-Scarlet-Witch −  OP, you need legal guidance here. Tossing out your ex-fiancé if you live together may require an eviction. This is especially true if you share a lease or need to break a lease/mortgage. Tell your parents. Let them handle the HR aspects, if any. The last thing you want is some blow-up at work or retribution. They can consult with any necessary employment lawyers or experts to make sure he can’t claim retaliation or being let go due to your relationship dissolving if it comes to that. Then please get a therapist. This guy violated your trust in the worst kind of way.

breeveemagica −  Hey, please don’t be so hard on yourself. You have ZERO reason to feel ashamed, the one feeling ashamed should be Mark. He gave you no reason to doubt him but managed to finally slip up his facade. He slipped up before the wedding though so you have options, you also have the upper hand because he is none the wiser you know. Girl, you have all the power here.

The man who should be marrying you should stand up to his friends when they say disgusting things like that, instead he laughed along with them and AGREED. I know you’re feeling embarrassed and confused but I highly suggest talking to your father (if you have a good relationship with him) or a lawyer about this because you need to protect yourself first and foremost. Mark has shown you that he’s not protecting you, he’s protecting himself and trying to set himself up years down the line.

I know you’re worried you may be judged, but girl you’ve got to throw that out the window right now and go into survival mode, you need support and you need advice from professionals who can help you find the best course of action given the amount of money at stake here. This money could be your potential child’s (if you want them someday) money he is trying to weasel away with.