I (f24) used to work at a “breastruant” and my bf (m28) saw of pic of my in the uniform, and now is really pissed. Why?

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A 24-year-old woman who once worked at a “breastruant” as a nursing student is now facing conflict with her boyfriend (28M) after he saw a photo of her in the restaurant uniform. The photo was taken years ago,

and she doesn’t remember it being a big deal, but her boyfriend is upset and finds it “embarrassing.” He feels she disrespected their relationship by not telling him about it. She’s confused and unsure why he’s reacting so strongly.

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‘ I (f24) used to work at a “breastruant” and my bf (m28) saw of pic of my in the uniform, and now is really pissed. Why?’

From when I was 18-21 I worked in one of those chain restaurants/ bars that have waitresses wearing very little clothing. I was a broke nursing school student and it paid the bills (and then some). I left when I graduated, obviously.

My bf and I have been dating for only eight months, the relationship is still relatively new but also long enough that we are comfortable with each other. Well this weekend I guess one of his friends saw a pic of me hanging on the wall at this restaurant.

The pic is of me and a few other girls with a kinda famous baseball player who happened to come in, and the owner recognized him. I hardly remember that day as he wasn’t even my table, I just happened to be around when the pic was taken. I was probably 19 in the photo.

When my bf received this text pic, he was *so* mad. He told me it’s “so embarrassing” for his friends to see that and I should’ve told him. I told him that I don’t often think about this obscure photo of me hanging on a wall from 5 years ago. He was still so adamant that I “disrespected” our relationship.

…am I missing something? I did not put the picture up nor did I even remember it was there. I’m clearly just barely a legal adult in it and I didn’t even remember it until it was brought up again. Like jeez… what happened? Is he just embarrassed about the uniform? Or is it something else? Does anyone even know, because I’m at a loss.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

StylishMrTrix −  Thank you for informing me of the term breastruant. Never heard that one before. It must be a us thing, don’t think we ever had that culture in Australia

thatsnotaknoife −  embarrassed that you worked there as a teenager but not embarrassed that his friend goes there as a grown ass man? he’s not worth the energy of worrying about this.

illegal_russian −  So you probably see some random men’s dicks every now and again as you are a nurse. Is he insecure about that too?. You deserve better.

C638 −  Making an honest living by getting good tips is generally a very good thing. How could you ‘disrespect’ a relationship when you worked at the place years before you met him? His friends probably think you are hot. Being embarrassed makes no sense. He sounds a bit insecure and unreasonable. Talk it out, or walk away.

[Reddit User] −  Honestly, it’s probably just his fragile ego that got bruised. Probably thinks his girlfriend shouldn’t be allowed to dress like that. Break up with him lol. He’s gonna get mad at you for working there because you needed money, but he seems to have no issue with his buddies hanging there?

isthistaken8675309 −  Wait… a picture of you from 5 years ago is disrespectful to your current relationship? How does he come up with THAT? This guy sounds like he’s trying to manipulate you. You have absolutely NO CONTROL on that picture hanging up as it’s company property.

I would highly suggest that you do an evaluation of this relationship and consider if this is someone you want to continue with. If he’s pulling something this blatantly m**ipulative, what will he try to get away with later? 🤔

MidnytStorme −  Life’s too short to deal with such fragile masculinity. If he can’t deal with you in a uniform for a restaurant that welcomes couples and families, and covers more than your beachware does, then he’s not ready for an adult relationship. Throw this one back in the pond.

[Reddit User] −  Lol wtf. Please break up with him if this is enough to hurt his masculinity. I’m saying this as a dude, it’s not even a big deal. What is the difference between a girl going to the club “half n**ed” vs working at a restaurant to fund your education?

I’m assuming he wouldn’t have a problem with the former but the latter is an issue? Give me a break, not everyone has the privilege of not having to work while studying.

trilliumsummer −  Turn it around – isn’t it soooo embarrassing that his friend goes to those places? Isn’t he disrespecting his friendship with your bf by going to that restaurant? His friend should have told your bf he goes to those places so your bf would know not to be friends with him!

Oh…he’s not mad his friend goes there? Just mad that you worked there? Of course *eye roll*. He’s mad because he views you as an object and more importantly his object and is mad other guys saw you dressed like that and had thoughts your bf and his friends have about the women that work there.

Put more plainly he’s mad because he doesn’t respect women who work there and he’s mad he got into a relationship with “one of those” women. The odds of this being his only negative view on women is slim.

You’re likely to see other sexist and misogynistic traits coming out. Especially because he’s not mad and embarrassed at his friend for patronizing those places.

hot_student_emma −  The bf behaves like a child and not a like a grown man. He should have been proud that you did all you could to get through your school. And that someone else took a picture of you should have also made him proud 🙂

Is the boyfriend reacting to the uniform or the past job, or is there something more underlying the situation? How would you address this with your partner and ensure open communication about feelings of discomfort and boundaries? Share your thoughts on how to handle this delicate conversation.

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