I (37f) want to divorce my husband (40m). But everyone keeps telling me I will die alone if I do so. What is the best course of action?

A Reddit user shared her emotional struggle over divorcing her husband after catching him cheating with her daughter’s teacher. Despite her resolve, the overwhelming advice from friends, family.

And even her mother suggests staying in the marriage to avoid hardships as a single mom and for the sake of the kids. But can she ignore her feelings of betrayal and disgust for the sake of others? Read the full story below.

‘ I (37f) want to divorce my husband (40m). But everyone keeps telling me I will die alone if I do so. What is the best course of action?’

I (37f) caught my husband (40m) cheating on me with my daughter’s teacher. We have 3 kids (12m, 9f, 4f). We have been married for 15 years and together for 20 years. But recently I found out he has been cheating. I reported the teacher and separated from my husband.

I served him divorce papers because cheating has always been a deal breaker for me. My husband has begged a lot but I still didn’t budge. It’s been 1.5 months since I served him divorce. I have had people try to convince me to stay. I’ve heard numerous advices. But most common were:

1. All men cheat. If I leave my husband and find a new man. The chances that he will cheat on me is still high. Better to stay with him. 2. I will be a single mom. A single mom with 3 kids have a difficult time finding a new partner. We have baggage. Besides I am 37.

3. I should just let him cheat because at the end of the day he still provides and pays the bills. 4. Think about your kids and how it will affect them. Divorce is always harsh on kids. 5. I am taking their father away from them.

All these I avoided. But what struck me was what my mother said. My mom also divorced my dad when he cheated. Our dad abandoned us after the divorce was final. I barely talk to him. My mother said sometimes she wishes she didn’t divorce my dad. He left us because he was angry that my mom didn’t want to work things out

If she had just worked things out I would still have a dad. Part of the reason she was single till I was 18 because she didn’t want strange men to groom me and take advantage of me. She said to think about it.

I have thought about this for a long time. I cannot even look at him. His facr disgusts me. The last time he touched my armed I jerked it off. I am fine if I never date again. But I’ve always had a**ndonment issues.

I think about my children and it makes me want to change my mind. But how can I stay with a man who disgust me. We will be living like roommates. I need some insights on what is the right thing to do for me and ny kids?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Icy-Perception-8108 −  Your husband cheated with the TEACHER of your kids. He cares s**t about your kids. How many people at the school, including other parents, know now?

The fact that he did that to your kids and has embarrassed them in such a way (even though they might not know personally) is telling enough. You don’t s**t where you or your kids eat. Your husband just did. Divorce him.

jimmyb1982 −  Stay the course and divorce. Not all men cheat, and plenty of single moms marry again. Think about the message your kids get if you stay with a c**ater, and you didn’t take their father away from them He did that on hisnown. What happened ro the teacher ? If she’s married, I would definitely reach out to her husband.. UpdateMe

michaelpaoli −  All men cheat. Bullsh\*t. That’s folks typically projecting their own behavior and/or experience. I’m a man, 60+, never cheated, never even seriously thought to do so. And can’t say I’ve never had attractive women hit on me.

Think about your kids and how it will affect them. Yes, do you want to teach them that it’s fine to be a c**ater, it doesn’t matter, because partner will stay regardless? What else do you want to teach them and how much sh\*t do you want to teach them they ought put up with from a partner?

Do you want to teach your kids that banging the kid’s teacher is acceptable because it wouldn’t even break up a marriage?. I am taking their father away. His actions and consequences. You’re not “taking him away”, he friggin’ left to go bang your daughter’s teacher.. dad abandoned us after the divorce

Because he’s a j**k, not because of divorce.. cannot even look at him. Divorce his b**t, and also teach your kids to not accept nor tolerate the unacceptable.

SynKratos −  Yes, it may be rough on the kids, but it’s much more damaging to grow in a broken home. Also, my mom found love again at 57 and she has 5 kids! In a world with 7 billion people, you can always find someone else.

chingness −  What sort of people are you hanging around with?! Jeez! Being in a happy relationship is great but being in a bad one is far far far worse than being single. So you stay – what’s to stop him cheating and leaving? What message does this show your kids?

Why wouldn’t you die alone if you did stay married? Most couples don’t die on the same day… Honestly this idea you need to be in a romantic relationship to be happy is garbage. Focus on yourself, your needs, your hobbies and your friendships (although sounds like you need better ones).

Dont waste any more time with a man who would break his vows and treat you like this. The consequences like “taking their father from the kids” are on HIM not you. He can be in their lives and not in your bed.

Most kids deal with divorce – they’ll cope. Most adults whose parents stayed together for the kids will tell you it’s far worse.. The best parent is a happy parent

Status_Button −  I had the exact same issue whennI got divorced. I told them to f**k off because my worth is not measured whether Im in a relationship or not, and considering the circumstances its highly inappropriate and tone deaf to talk about a new relationship when Im

1) not evenndivorced yet and 2) got cheated on. Here I am 3 years later, a single mom, not short on male attention, and soooooo happy as a single person doing my own thing.

hellothere9922331 −  Divorce. I say this as a 37M. Whether you date or not is moot. Living in that toxicity will also negatively affect your children. I lived in a relationship where i was cheated on repeatedly (as they never stop) and that was dead “for the kids.”

The kids know something is wrong and get a skewed sense of normal from it at best. Worse, they think your broken relationship is what happy/good looks like. Be free of this person who brings you pain and disgust.

When you are ready, you can consider dating; and you won’t be forever alone unless you want to be. Even cultivating good/solid friendships will be helpful. Not all men cheat; just the s**tty ones.

rosebud-2911 −  OP you are not doing this to your kids, your husband did when he cheated, lied and betrayed his family. HIS actions have consequences. If he is a father who wants to stay involved he will make an effort to coparent.

Both of you will need to find a new norm. Consider therapy to work towards that. You get to make a decision how to take this forward- he lost that privilege when he cheated.

Special-Degree-1242 −  I want to come at this from the perspective of someone who is single. Being single is way better than being with someone who hurts you. Being single is not the worst thing in the world (in fact, I find it to be largely positive). Being single does not mean you will be alone.

In fact, I have more people in my life now than I ever had while I was in a relationship because a soul-sucking relationship isn’t taking up all my attention and I have been able to focus on giving love and attention to my friendships.

People who tell you you shouldn’t prioritize your own health and wellbeing and get a divorce are projecting their own fears onto you. Your mother is from a generation where women largely needed men due to not having the same rights as men.

However, in 2024, us women do not need men. We can in fact live largely fulfilled lives without the struggle of also having to take care of men who clearly do not care for us.

You are hella strong, and fantastic and you will most likely have many hard times during the divorce but I also believe that you will have moments where you feel an ease you haven’t felt in years. ❤️

eatpaste −  my parents divorced after 20yrs in the 30s and they’ve both been remarried for many years more than that to their 2nd spouses. as their children, we wished they’d divorced much sooner. staying together for the kids teaches the kids this is what love looks like. they deserve a peaceful, truthful home

Should this Redditor prioritize her own emotional well-being and go through with the divorce, or should she stay for the sake of her children and societal expectations? How would you navigate such a difficult situation? Share your thoughts below!