I [32 M] gave my brother [38 M] a laptop for my nephew, but my brother is now using it as his work laptop

A Redditor shared their frustration after buying a laptop for their 10-year-old nephew to use for homework and playing Minecraft, only to find out that the boy’s father, the Redditor’s brother, has been using the laptop as his work device instead. The Redditor feels taken advantage of and wonders whether they should confront their brother to reclaim the laptop for its intended purpose. Read the full story below for the details.

‘ I [32 M] gave my brother [38 M] a laptop for my nephew, but my brother is now using it as his work laptop’

My nephew is turning ten and is really into minecraft. He has played with the lego sets since he was little and even reads the books about minecraft adventures (I didn’t know that was a thing!). The only time my nephew was able to play was on my mother’s tablet every once in a great while because my brother uses his laptop for work.

I was presented with an opportunity to get a used laptop for $100. It’s not a gaming laptop by any means, but it will play minecraft just fine. Before I bought it, I spoke with my brother and told him that I wanted to buy the laptop so that my nephew would have something to do homework on but also so he could play minecraft. He agreed and so I bought the laptop. I spent some time setting it up, installing minecraft and other stuff like antivirus so that it was safe for him. I gave it to my brother last fall.

Fast forward to just recently when I was watching my nephew for the evening. He said he wanted to play minecraft on my computer so I agreed. I asked him what he liked to do in minecraft, what types of things he liked to build, but he said he never got to play. Confused, I asked why not. He said that they didn’t have a computer for him to play on. At this point I was already pretty certain of what had happened, but I didn’t want to throw my brother under the bus.

I asked if he could use his dad’s laptop to play on. He said, “Well, his black one has it installed, but that’s always at work. His silver one is too old and slow.” The black laptop, is the one that I gave my brother. I’m pissed. I never would have spent $100 to buy my brother a laptop. I just wanted to do something nice for my nephew..

Tl;dr: I bought a laptop for my nephew to use but my brother kept it for himself instead. Am I wrong to be upset? I understand that he is the parent but I feel taken advantage of. I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to this, but would it be out of line for me to demand that he either give it to my nephew or give it back?

 

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

[Reddit User] −  Text your brother “Hey bro, what happened to the laptop I gave nephew?” That’s it. No judgment. Just ask an honest question.

mioelnir −  You didn’t even buy your brother a laptop, he leaves it at work. You bought his employer a laptop. It is totally fine to inquire about the laptop. You are confused, you bought a laptop for your nephew, but he recently told you he does not have one.

squeaky4all −  Is $100 alot of money to you? Could you afford another $200? If you want to be super passive aggressive buy another better laptop for your nephew but this time get a whole bunch of minecraft stickers and a huge label clearly with your nephew’s name.

CrownedVictory −  You are not wrong. Have you talked to him about it?

Whallywhaler −  Is your brother a volatile person? You say you don’t want to burn bridges but you bought it for your nephew. Casually asking “hey, nephew was saying he doesn’t play Minecraft a lot. Is his laptop working?” If he lies I’d call him on it. “Oh…nephew said he thought it was at work but I didn’t think that could be right…”

labrys71 −  Wow that would p**s me off soooooo bad. What a selfish move on his part, taking something meant(and agreed upon!) as a gift for his son as personal gain without ever having given it to his son. I would definitely ask him about it. If it were me I’d tell him he owes me $100 bucks so I can get his son something since he decided he needed that laptop so much more.

Cricket627 −  Ask him about it and with no judgment in your voice offer that, “hey, if you like that for work, it only cost me $100, so if you want to give me the cash for that, I can get nephew a desktop for home instead” He might go for it, especially if you make it clear he can pay in installments (my assumption is that anyone who would take their kid’s gift has to be hard up for funds).

If a home computer is out, then at least you can give the kid something else and directly to him. But unfortunately, even though he is totally in the wrong, you have to tread carefully so that he doesn’t end up vindictive. If you sense things going bad, back down, give it time, and just take the kid fun places in the future or give him gifts directly that his dad can’t steal.. Good luck.

SourWineDenial −  Unfortunately, considering the comments I’ve read here, I think you may have to swallow this one. Your brother does not sound like the kind of person who will admit to a mistake when confronted. He also sounds like he may be the kind of person who withholds contact with your nephew as punishment. In my opinion, it’s not worth the risk to confront him. Your brother sucks. He took advantage of your generosity. Take this as a hard lesson. Anything you give your nephew, you give directly to him from now on. No middle man.

If you want, a simple “I guess that that laptop I gave nephew didn’t work out, huh? That’s too bad, he was telling me the other day how much he loves playing Minecraft, but he’s never had a computer to play on. So weird, that machine looked like it was in pretty good shape.”

If you’re brother has any brain at all, that statement will tell him you know he never gave your nephew the computer, and also guilts him a bit. But also isn’t aggressive, so hopefully won’t have any negative repercussions for your nephew. Anyway, just my opinion. From an Aunt who would be devastated if I couldn’t hang out with my niece.

dca_user −  Ask your bro, hey, hows the computer working out for nephew? Would love to come over this weekend and play with the nephew on it. Go over and play with nephew on it. Then, “accidentally” take it back home with you. Yea, you can’t have a direct confrontational with your brother. On a side note, your brother shouldn’t be using a personal computer for work. If he needs a PC for work, then his company should give him one, or he can buy one and expense it against his taxes as a work expense.

buttercupcake23 −  I want to kickstarter a fund to buy nephew an $1800 laptop inscribed with his name, is bright neon green and emblazoned with “Nephew’s mine craft machine” on the back of it. Edit: you’re well within rights to be mad about this. You bought your nephew a gift and it’s like now you bought your brother a gift. It’s incredibly tacky of him to have stolen from his own son. Is he in financial difficulty? Why can’t he but his own 100 dollar laptop?