I (30f) have pneumonia and my fiance (28m) is refusing to help.

A 30-year-old woman, bedridden with pneumonia, shared her struggles with her fiancé of four years, who refuses to assist her or her young children during her illness. Despite her dire condition and inability to perform basic tasks, he dismisses her requests for help with anger and cursing, leaving her feeling abandoned and frightened.

‘ I (30f) have pneumonia and my fiance (28m) is refusing to help.’

We’ve been together for four years. I’d like to start off by saying that this is embarrassing. It’s embarrassing that I can’t feed myself. The most I can do is stumble to the bathroom. I feel so useless. My kids are helping me with bare necessities, like water or crackers. But that’s about as much as they can do, as they’re little.

Yesterday I had to pick up my kids, drive to the doctor, and pick up my prescriptions. By the time I got back I was shaking and almost didn’t make it up the stairs. I had asked my fiance to at least pick up my kids. He responded “I’m not picking up your f**king kids!”

I asked him to pick me something up from the store again, and I was met with the same response. Maybe I’m being emotional. I don’t know. I’ve never been this sick in my life. It’s actually quite terrifying not being able to breathe. I just wish he would be a little more understanding, instead he just sighs, scoffs, and cusses at me.

And on top of everything, I’m getting kind of scared that I’m going to waste away into nothing because I don’t have the energy to get out of bed for more than a minute.
TLDR – Fiance is refusing to help me with even basic care when I’m sick with pneumonia. I don’t know what to do. Or even if I have a right to be upset.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Eaglepoint123 −  Call up parents/girlfriends and pawn your kids off for two days to recover. Ask them to pick up a couple of quarts of chicken n**dle or won ton soup at the local Chinese place (if you add some hot mustard it will help with the congestion). Do nothing but rest for the next two days.

When you are recovered, end this useless relationship. Frankly, I wouldn’t even talk to him anymore. Get a help chain going that doesn’t include him and then get rid of his selfish ass.

jolie178923-15423435 −  I had asked my fiance to at least pick up my kids. He responded “I’m not picking up your f**king kids!” Why in the name of *god* is this a**hole still bearing the title of “fiance”? Is this how he speaks to you normally? Why do you put up with that? Why do you put up with letting your kids see someone treat you like this?

Floweringpooops −  DON’T MARRY THIS MAN – YOU WILL REGRET IT

ChopsNZ −  Christ even my flatmates and I take better care of each other for much less than serious illnesses than this. Hot lemon drinks, chicken n**dle soup and a comfy blanket in front of the tv is what you need. The subs rules prevent me from saying what your ex needs.

easy916 −  My back went out and I couldn’t move. My bf of 2 years cared for me and my 3 kids as well as his own kid. He took me to er and went to the pharmacy and got my meds, set them up for me at my bedside with a water bottle,

he called out for pizza and fed the kids, did the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. That’s what a good man does. Drop your fiancé and have some self respect.

tossout7878 −  You’re about to marry an a**sive man.

sayknee −  I think the pneumonia is affecting you more than you think. You’re calling your a**sive ex your fiance. In all seriousness I hope you get better soon. Already the great people in your life (like your kids). D**p the fiance. You deserve better.

teresajs −  He’s showing you who he is… someone you can’t rely on.

BabyBundtCakes −  I had pneumonia once and I went to work for one day after a week of rest and them had to be out for two more weeks. I am amazed you can run errands. He is a huge a**hole. What is wrong with him?

Do you have a friend you can ask for help picking up the kids? Just straight up be like “my fiance is useless and I need help” now is not the time to mince words. Also, you clearly cannot count on him to be a co-parent or a good partner in times of struggle.

squadparty −  He responded “I’m not picking up your f**king kids!” Uh… is this how he normally responds to things? This is a far larger issue than just not helping when you’re sick.