I (30F) cheated on my husband (27M), and now I suspect he’s seeing another woman

A woman (30F) who cheated on her husband (27M) is now grappling with the suspicion that he may be seeing another woman. After her confession, he agreed to stay married but became emotionally distant.

Recently, his late nights, evasive answers, and reports from a friend about seeing him with another woman have left her in turmoil. She feels her actions may have led to this but is desperate for clarity. Read her emotional story below.

‘ I (30F) cheated on my husband (27M), and now I suspect he’s seeing another woman’

He knows I cheated. We didn’t separate and I begged him to not divorce and let me fix this. He agreed but his behavior since my confession has basically been one of indifference. Like I wrote on my last post, I do my best to be the best wife he could ask for: I cook his favorite foods, get him gifts, s**ew his brains out every night.

He just smiles and thanks me. He acts kind and never yells at me, but I feel his icy indifference under that mask of courtesy. Two weeks ago he started coming home late. Very late. And when he does he just goes to bed.

I asked him what’s going on, and he told me in the kindest way possible that it’s not my business. I call him when he stays out and he picked up only once. I heard a woman laughing in the background. I am starting to think he is cheating back on me. It f**king hurts.

If he told me at least I would do my best to stomach it, I deserve this after all. But he won’t tell me, he just shuts me out. A common friend told me she spotted him in a car with a woman she didn’t recognize and this felt like a stab in the heart.

She said she couldn’t describe her exactly because she wore big sunglasses, but she recognized my husband because of his particular taste in neckties.
They were talking, but my friend said that from their position it looked like they were holding their hands or one of them was touching the other’s lap.

I don’t know what to do. If he is having an affair I deserve it, but I need to know. The uncertainty is killing me. Should I confront him? Should I try to find out more?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Fragrant_Spray −  He learned that you don’t love or respect him. He’s going through the motions in your relationship while he looks for a better option. Eventually, you’re going to stop doing this fake act, once you’re sure he won’t leave, but I think he already understands that he’s not going to trust you again.

Denoffools −  Your previous post indicated that you begged him not to divorce you, and you even stated that you would be ok with him sleeping with other women. Nothing indicated he would have to tell you about it.. Congratulations! Wish granted!

Similar_Corner8081 −  I can tell you as someone whose husband cheated on me with my sister he killed all the love I had for him. The day he chose to cheat on me is when he killed our marriage. I stayed and divorced him 18 years later.

You have done irreparable damage to your husband and changed who he is as a person. He knows you don’t love or respect him, otherwise you wouldn’t have cheated on him.

NoRoleModelHere −  Even if he has not cheated it’s hard to put on an act for 2 months. Beyond the fact he is trying to figure out what he feels right now; if he cared about you, or loved you anymore you would know it. It sounds like he has checked out emotionally and shut down that side of things.

You don’t break trust within a relationship and expect it will survive. The odds of you guys being married in a year are really low. I would be prepared for the worst unfortunately. Start looking for another home, stable employment and generally prepare yourself.

That way when the inevitable happens you aren’t blindsided. The only person you can control is your self. You can give a 100% now, but you can’t undo the damage you’ve done to him. That takes time if it ever happens. A lot of people stay, but they’re never truly invested after the infidelity.

You can’t fix him. Only he can fix him. You can fix yourself. You can fix the things that led you to do this. That way your next relationship will hopefully not suffer a similar fate.

tjadem −  Being the best wife he could have asked for probably would have meant never cheating on him to begin with lol

DifferentManagement1 −  Why did you cheat on him?

SleepoBeepos −  He’s shopping for your replacement. Once he gets confirmation that this woman is what he’s looking for, prepare to be served. Your marriage was over the second you fucked someone else.

jimmyb1982 −  Boo hoo. How does it feel???. UpdateMe

thuggothic −  You don’t deserve anything!. Actually lucky he stuck it out. I love how cheaters play the victim

Codiilovee −  Now you know how he felt. Personally I think the relationship is done. Also- the best wife he could ask for wouldn’t cheat on him.