I (27M) have entered into a relationship with a girl (26F) who I’ve kind of known for 5 years and the world as I have known it has crumbled. What has happened to me?

A man (27M) shares a transformative experience after entering a relationship with a woman (26F) he’s known casually for five years. After a few dates, he quickly falls in love with her, feeling a deep emotional connection.

This relationship has caused him to reconsider his long-held beliefs about marriage and children, which he had previously rejected. He’s now questioning what has happened to him and why his perspectives have shifted so dramatically.

‘ I (27M) have entered into a relationship with a girl (26F) who I’ve kind of known for 5 years and the world as I have known it has crumbled. What has happened to me?’

As a bit of a back story this girl let’s call her Andrea and she is my best friends girlfriends best friend. We had spoke a little in the past and saw each other on a couple of occasions over the 5 years.

I was in the pub with my friend, and his girlfriend and her friends came along to join us, this is where we started chatting again, we then went on a night out a month or 2 later and we kissed. I felt instant love within my chest when this happened. We went on a date, and hit it off instantly.

The connection felt like it was deeply embedded even though we’d had just a few hours together. Fast forward a couple of weeks, we had been out nearly every night just yapping away for hours on end. I could not wait to see her, I felt like I missed her all the time.

I knew then that I was in love with her, which was a strange feeling for me. It’s made me question all the times I have been ‘in love’ before, as this is definitely different. I have never wanted kids in my life, or marriage.

It’s something I’ve been hard against due to having a big family and being round children in the form of nieces and nephews since age seven. Suddenly, out of nowhere, there’s a paradigm shift. I want to marry this girl, I can see myself having a family with her.

This completely shocked me and she could tell, as my face was in a state of shock for about 2 hrs. I’m looking for answers to what has happened to me here because this is a feeling that I’ve had like no other.

It has shifted my whole viewpoint regarding kids and marriage, which is something which has been ingrained deep within for some time. Can anybody help me and tell me what’s happening?. Thanks in advance

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

trishsf −  That’s usually how it goes. You don’t know until you do. Don’t overthink it but don’t propose either. You still need to date for an extended period so you two really get to know each other.

I’ve experienced this sense knowing someone on a deep level directly after meeting. Once. Enjoy it. Get out of your head. Don’t jump into a marriage. If she is it, waiting won’t change that. This isn’t nearly as rare as you think. It is special.

Wafflehouseofpain −  Speaking from someone who’s about a decade down the road from where you are now; That’s the feeling. When you know, you know, and the right person makes now the right time.

Milled_Oats −  I had this too. I proposed after nine months. My bets mate said congratulations but it’s a bit soon. Together over twenty years, two kids, the dog, the pool etc. This morning we spent twenty minutes in bed making out before work. Still feel passionate about her each day.

My only advice is take your time before proposing, wait past the six month l**t filled stage. Good luck and I’m. Happy for you .

echosiah −  Look, not to be a downer, but I see the top comments are all like “when you know you know”, but feelings like this are not always a big happy ending. You’re infatuated. You FEEL like you love her, but in reality, you don’t really know her that well.

That doesn’t mean you won’t feel that way in 6 months, a year, 10 years, forever, but you need to sloooow down. People are going to tell you all the anecdotes about how they married their partner after months or a year and you’re going to think “that’s US”.

It usually doesn’t go that way. Most people who rush into serious relationships hard…crash out of them even harder.

csparkles808 −  You’re in love bad and by bad, I mean so so so good. What they meant by “not rare” is that this is a common/uncommon thing that doesn’t happen to a huge lot of people while it does still happen. I had it once 28 years ago and I still think of that guy all of the time. Fast forward to this lifetime…

I met someone else I thought I had that with and was thinking of moving closer to this person to see them more frequently, and then BOOM, their feelings change, “like seasons do” and completely crushed me. I can’t stop thinking about him now.

I know what your feelings are feeling right now and I’m so insanely happy for you! DO NOT RUSH THIS, trust me, just enjoy it because this is one of the most magical times in your life that you will ever experience and you don’t want to miss anything! Drink it all in and enjoy every moment of it!

Piilootus −  I have sorta similar story, but not quite as dramatic. For as long as I can remember I was always against having biological kids and especially against ever being pregnant myself. I found the thought terrifying and frankly pregnancy just felt so dang gross as a process.

This is obviously super different from not wanting kids at all because I still knew I wanted to be a parent. And wouldn’t you know if here I am at 28, nearly six months pregnant with a baby me and my partner planned and wanted. For me it was 100% about finding the right person.

I grew up with a “I’ll do it myself so I never need to rely on anyone and then get disappointed” mindset and then I was in a six year relationship where I was essentially my ex’s caretaker and maid all at once. I felt like I had to be the one to always take care of absolutely everything because she needed me to do it.

After that break up I met my now fiancé and as we were in the honeymoon period and I was learning more and more that not only am I allowed to need help from my partner, it can actually benefit a relationship when both people support each other. And suddenly I found myself no longer hating the idea of pregnancy because I knew I could rely on him.

Ok-Radish-3513 −  I met my husband and a month later we were married. He was divorced, didn’t want another marriage or more kids.. then woke up one day & decided he wanted it with me. 3 kids later! Neither of us can explain it but the connect was so intense, still is.

sunflowerpolkadot −  Take your enthusiasm and double down on getting to know who she really is and whether you share the same values. Maybe you’ve made a great connection for life, maybe not! Your changing your mind about certain things is normal— sometimes you need the right partner to see certain growth in your future.

anonymouswan1 −  Its kind of ironic reading this post, I’ve hit a very similar situation. I met my gf at the gym, we exchanged numbers. After a couple days of texting, I asked her to talk on the phone for a bit before bed. We ended up talking for almost 6 hours, until 2am when we both had work the next morning.

A couple days later, I asked her to meet for a drink. We closed down a local bar, had amazing conversation over only 1 or 2 drinks the whole time so it wasn’t the liquid courage. When the bar closed, I walked her to her car. It was at that point when my heart spilled everywhere. I was so attracted to her.

Not just her looks, but her personality, sense of humor, ambition, goals, everything. I told her right there that I’ve never met anyone like her and I was certain I never would. I wasn’t sure if what I was saying was ok on a first date, but I couldn’t contain myself.

I had fallen crazy hard, more than I ever have in my life for any girl. Somewhere in the middle of my emotional speech, she jumped right into my arms and we had an amazing kiss. We stood in the parking lot for 2 hours after the bar closed just kissing and talking.

We had a few dates after that which all went equally as amazing. She did talk to me about wanting a family of her own. I’ve always been very firm on no kids. Something just changed with me and I’m all about it with her.

I’ve never really thought about getting married, but I want that so badly with her. We have been dating for 2 months now and it’s been just as great as the first date. We see each other every single day. She either stays at my house, or I go to hers. Here’s to hoping we both found our one!

Catbutt247365 −  I kissed a swamp full of frogs until I met my husband. We fit. I never felt safer anywhere than his arms, burying my face in his chest and letting the world go away. He was social and I’m not. I was books, he was movies and TV (to be fair, he worked in television).

I was MSRP, he was haggle. I liked indoors, he liked outdoors. On paper, we never should have connected, but I was his person, and he was mine. But people are people at the end of the day, with different needs. Be prepared to get to know this person. Marriage and family are demanding. Make sure you are a team first.

Is this a natural shift in perspective that comes with deep love, or is it a sign of something else? How can he understand and navigate these changes? Share your thoughts and insights below.