I (27F) gave my boyfriend (29M) a key to my apartment but now I want it back.

A Reddit user shared their concerns about giving their boyfriend a key to their apartment, only to discover he used it to enter while they were out, took some items, and then lied about it when asked.

This discovery has made the user question their trust in the boyfriend and consider asking for the key back. The situation has sparked debate over boundaries, trust, and communication in relationships. For the full story and context, read on below.

‘ I (27F) gave my boyfriend (29M) a key to my apartment but now I want it back.’

I gave my boyfriend a key to my apartment to make things easier. He has a hybrid job so in the morning he has to leave out way earlier than I do. I gave him a key to lock the door when he leaves. The other day I ran out for a couple of hours and I checked my Alexa Echo and he was in my apartment.

He grabbed a couple of snacks and a roll of toilet paper. This was the first time I saw him in there without me and it caught me off guard. I played it cool and asked what he had done all day to see if he would bring it up but he didn’t. I started thinking how I was going through snacks and household items a lot faster.

I asked him about being in the apartment without me being there and he lied. How should I approach asking for my key back? Should I confront him about lying? Should I show him the screen recording I took of home from my phone?

 Update: I confronted him about it, I got my key back and changed the locks just to be safe. He was very apologetic and said he didn’t think it was that big of a deal. I let him know that lying IS a big deal, especially over something so small. We have been very distance since I confronted him.

We didn’t “officially” break up, but things are kind of awkward now and I can’t stop looking at him as a l**r. My lease is up in March and I already put in my 60 day notice so I will make it official once I move.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

RWAdvice −  Just ask him. “Why are you coming to my place just to grab snacks and tp?” If you can’t directly address this, then there’s no point in being in a relationship with him to begin with.

ThrowRA_No_1 −  I think you should change the lock. If he’s sneaky he may have already copied it at Home Depot.

Jen5872 −  I’d d**p him for lying more than the snack stealing. Next time you see him, ask for the key back. If he refuses, tell the landlord you need the locks changed. You will be charged for it but there’s not much else you can do. 

[Reddit User] −  His lying about it is a big red flag 🚩

Dont139 −  Tell him a friend or sibling is coming to stay for a few days so you need to give them the key, so can he just give your key back for a few days. Then d**p his lying mooching ass

mustang19671967 −  You BF lied about something so small it’s worrysome too . If you can’t say anything call. The landlord say you want a new lock . Probably costs you $75 . Don’t give him one . If he asks later say how do you know I’m Always here. Take it from there . Or tell him younwant the key. You came in without asking then you lied to my face I want key back or say by to him

LEP627 −  Taking toilet paper? How skanky. Seriously. You have time to come to my house and eat snacks, then you have time to go to the store & buy that for yourself. OP, get that key back.

SirGkar −  Put your hand out and say, “I got a security camera because weird things were happening when I wasn’t home. Key.” Then point to the door and say, “I’ll call you later when I’m ready to talk. I have some video to review.”

WinkStain −  Ask him outright if he has taken any stuff from your place. If he lies, ask for your key back and show him the door.

lookthepenguins −  Change the lock however much it costs. Don’t give him a heads-up about it, make up some any whatever story about it. D**p him, without saying why, it will only be an argument. It’s not a ‘small’ thing that he’s coming in taking stuff without asking you if it’s ok,

and lying about it when you ask him – doesn’t matter that it’s jUsT snacks & tp. It’s useless to ask the for key back, he’ll likely say he doesn’t have it on him then he might just go make another copy before he ‘gives it back’. Untrustworthy, no excuses. 🙁 D*mn, this s*cks.