I (25F) surprised my bf (26M) only to find his ex (24F) at his house. How do I handle this?

A Redditor shares their emotional experience after discovering their boyfriend’s ex at his house when they dropped off a surprise meal. Feeling betrayed and hurt by his confusion and lack of pursuit after the confrontation.

They are torn between wanting to forgive him because they love him and feeling ashamed for even considering it. They also struggle with how to move on from this, especially given the history and their father’s approval of the relationship. Read the original story below…

‘ I (25F) surprised my bf (26M) only to find his ex (24F) at his house. How do I handle this?’

I went to drop off my bfs favorite meal to him today only to find his exes car in the driveway. I rang the doorbell and he came outside and said “I’m sorry” “1 just feel confused right now”. I remember cussing him out a bit, crying and saying I didn’t know how he could do this to me when we had plans for me to move in in a few months,

asked him what his plan was with all of this, and then told him the part that hurts the most is the lies and deception and he was lucky I wasn’t a violent person because he deserved to get slapped…

then I told him I would talk to him tomorrow because I realized she could see our entire interaction from his security camera monitors and I didn’t want her to witness it. Now I’m wishing | said more, threw her out, etc. and I can’t help but feeling like I want to forgive him because I love him but feeling ashamed if I do.

Any advice on if this can be salvaged or if it’s worth trying to? If not how do I move on from this? He didn’t chase after me and I haven’t heard from him… which almost makes it hurt more? She knew we were together and had asked if we could be friends and grab a drink 2 weeks ago.

I know I’m young and I live in a big city so I could find someone else but I really thought he was the one and my dad told me he thought so too before he passed away…

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

facethesun_17 −  You are at the door.. He’s shirtless.. He says sorry.. The ex gf is inside. He didn’t even ask you inside to talk or explain. He didn’t look for you after you were gone. Let this sink in. You are not important to him.

Fantastic_Cow_6819 −  Girl. He cheated on you and then didn’t chase you down. SHE is the one who stayed in his house. Edit: took out accidental repeated word

Ok_Introduction9466 −  I read up to where you said you wish you threw her out…of his house lol. Girl. Save your energy and move on. D**p him he’s a c**ater and the second you start contemplating fighting the other woman over him you’ve already lost the plot.

Confident_Notice2739 −  He cheated on you, if he loved you he wouldnt have. bbg you are in the delulu state right now. He sucks, dont be as low as him and leave.

Smart-Caterpillar696 −  He said he was sorry and confused right now. He’s cheating on you. Say goodbye.

pajjyyy −  You still wanna talk OP??? please don’t. some trash are just not recyclable.

Upstairs_Edge_341 −  He doesn’t want to be with you. Saying “I’m sorry” “I’m so confused” is a cop out. He should not have started a relationship with you if he was still confused over his feeling for his ex. Walk away, find someone worthy of you.

floridaeng −  OP the problem is you love who you thought he was, and now you know that is not who he really is. Tell all of your common friends you caught him cheating with his ex and broke up with him. Let them decide if they want to associate with a c**ater.

If any contact you on his behalf remind them of the saying you’re known by the company you keep, and do they want to be known for approving a c**ater?

lynxo91 −  Didnt read the post. Break up with him block him and never look back

[Reddit User] −  The fact he hasn’t contacted you tells you everything you need to know

What do you think about the situation this Redditor is in? Do you think forgiveness is possible after betrayal, or should they move on and not look back? Share your thoughts below!