I (25 F) just found out my husband’s (38 M) latest affair is a 19 year old girl

A Redditor shared her heartbreak after discovering her husband’s latest affair is with a 19-year-old girl. Already aware of his infidelity, she’s now determined to plan her exit and rebuild her life for the sake of her kids, even as she struggles with self-doubt. Read her emotional story below.

‘ I (25 F) just found out my husband’s (38 M) latest affair is a 19 year old girl’

Last night, my husband dropped a bombshell on me. He told me about his latest affair—a 19-year-old girl. He came home late, slightly drunk, but completely aware of what he was saying. It wasn’t a slip-up; he said it to hurt me, and it worked. Even though I’ve known about his infidelity for a while now, hearing him admit to this one, so casually and cruelly, was devastating.

This isn’t new. I’ve known he’s been unfaithful before. But this feels like a tipping point. Maybe I don’t need to worry about divorcing him after all; it seems like he’s already planning to move on to wife #3. What’s clear to me now is that I need to plan my exit. I deserve better than this, and so do my kids. They’re my priority, and they’re the reason I’ve endured so much for so long.

Still, the thought of starting over feels overwhelming. I’m 25, but after battling cancer, I’ve lost my hair and my breasts. I’m not sure if I’ll ever find someone who will love me again. But at this point, I’d rather be alone than stay in a marriage where I’m constantly disrespected and hurt. I know this won’t be easy, but I’m trying to hold on to the hope that there’s a better future for me and my children. I’d love some encouragement right now—any words of wisdom or strength would mean so much.

Check out how the community responded:

istara −  Your hair will grow back! Often it grows back curly, at least at the start, for some odd reason. You can also get a reconstruction should you ever want to. My mother survived b**ast cancer (sadly she died some years later from a different kind) and she had an amazing reconstruction. Of course it wasn’t quite the same, but it looked perfect in clothes, was far perkier, and was also the (smaller) size she wanted. She also got the very realistic nipple tattoos.

Have a look around online, because there is some amazing reconstructive work out there. And as a young person, you have a lot more options and you’ll heal much better from any surgery you do have. Another relative of mine has a large scar on one side from a lumpectomy. She is now 70, widowed, and *still banging various guys*. She also goes (or used to go to, with my late uncle) nudist beaches.

Right now, you just focus on YOU and your kids. One day this arsehole will just seem like a bad dream. One day, you may even look back and be oddly grateful to what you went through if it helped show his true colours and get rid of him more quickly.

[Reddit User] −  OMG. So sorry you are going through this, and after cancer?! Geez. Don’t worry about finding another man. Focus on getting out for now. Men can wait. Sending you hugs.

cosmonautical123 −  One of my best mates fell head over heels in love with a woman last year and they are immensely happy together. She had finished chemo about a year previous so her hair is very short and has had both boobs removed. She is a wonderful human being which is why she is adored. I know that he (her love and my best buddy) did not once consider breasts or hair to be a reason to resist developing a relationship. Just work on looking after yourself and do the things you love, the rest will follow.

jillbowaggins −  I think my chances of finding another boyfriend or husband are slim to none (I have no hair or breasts anymore from my cancer). A 38-year-old cheater has found multiple partners so I wouldn’t be so quick to rule out your future!

SadSoggySandwich −  Break up with him, it’s healthier for your kids, and for you…get a cool wig if it’s that much of a problem for you but a true lover wouldn’t care. Plus he’s old compared to you, old enough to be mature and not act like a 17 year old ass.

Bencil_McPrush −  Forget about getting another BF or husband, for now focus on yourself. D**p that toxic cargo and get to making yourself and your kids happy.

shybonobo −  At my age I have hair where it shouldn’t be and boobs to my waist. It’s always something. I’m so glad you’re recovering and so sorry this has happened to you. Sounds like your soon-to-be ex is a drunk driver on top of the rest of it.

A friend of mine survived the same horrible cancer and got tattoos where her boobs had been. She was single and figured that was it. But what happened, worked out in the end. She became very close friends with some guys who didn’t know about the sickness. New job and all that. After a while one of them confessed he had feels for her. Only then did she say “yeah but I look like I was napalmed and I ain’t got any girls on me”. (As close to an exact quote as I can remember).

They ended up dating for several years. She’s with another guy now and still cancer-free. Neither of these gentlemen is a cheating a**hole. All of which is to say, a good man dates women, not body parts. Just get through the grief, care for the wee ones, and take good care of yourself. You have a future and it’s not alone.

breckett −  You deserve much much much more than this sleazebag… I think you’re underestimating yourself too. Sure you may not be as pretty “as you once were” but I guarantee you’re beautiful in a different way. Anyone that matters will love you past your looks and will still find you pretty anyway. It won’t be hard to top this guy probably, you got the whole world ahead of you so get out and go get something you deserve. I hope that guy falls down some stairs.

[Reddit User] −  Cancer survivor here. My ex-wife and I got married very quickly after finding out I had cancer. Although she put on a great show while we were dating, it turned out she was emotionally abusive. Immensely selfish, manipulative, isolating, and a gaslighter. She would drive me to my treatments but beyond that I mostly took care of myself. I tried staying married to her for a couple years after I finished treatment but it just got progressively worse. I used to fantasize about driving my car off a cliff on the way home from work.

Eventually I made the decision to end it. Best decision I ever made. After the divorce I strived to be the best me I could be. Didn’t worry about a significant other, I just tried to focus what I found that made me happy and fulfilled. While doing that I met my current wife and we’ve been happily married for over 5 years now.

I know you feel absolutely wrecked, physically and emotionally and you feel like things will never get better. I felt that way too, to the point that suicide felt like an option. Be absolutely committed to your happiness and betterment, assert yourself and do what you know you need to do to put yourself in a healthy state. Your “husband”is a worthless piece of s**t for cheating and even more so for using it deliberately to hurt you, and it’s ok to acknowledge that and ok to break things off. I hope this is at least encouraging. Just be the best you that you can be and you will be happy.

JustinYermuth −  Glad you’re making your exit. I’d like to address your thinking you’ll be forever alone though. I feel f**king old saying this because I’m now imparting wisdom on you 20-somethings, but you’re going to find that as you mature, and those around you mature, potential partners become more attracted to who you are and less about your physical features.

Love who you are and the right person will too. You’re a bad enough b**ch to fight cancer, not put up with some dip s**t cheating on you, and eventually will be at a spot you’re ready to date again. Those traits make you worth a hell of a lot more than some chick that could pose for Maxim but can’t make a decision to save her life. If you ever need a confidence boost, post a pic of yourself on here. As big a troll farm as Reddit is, I’ve discovered they are the minority and there’s actually a ton of great folks on here. Keep moving, it gets better. I promise.