I (24M) caught my girlfriend (22F) giving my dad (54M) a foot massage

A Redditor (M24) shared that he caught his girlfriend (22F) giving his father (54M) a foot massage in the guest room of his house, where she’s been living for the past two months. He was shocked when he saw it and retreated to his room, ignoring his girlfriend’s explanations and his father’s attempts to talk. He’s now questioning whether he’s overreacting and how to handle the situation. Read the original story below…

‘ I (24M) caught my girlfriend (22F) giving my dad (54M) a foot massage’

My girlfriend and I have been dating for one year. Since we’ve both been struggling financially, and she has a tense relationship with her family, she’s been living with me at home with my parents for the past two months. Everything’s been going well, and she’s made a point to help around the house wherever she can.

Usually, she gets up at 6 AM to do the cleaning in relative silence. This morning, she woke me up as she left the room, but I didn’t think much of it. My mouth felt dry, so I decided to head to the kitchen to get a glass of water. In the hall, I noticed the door to the guest room was open, which was weird because my girlfriend usually doesn’t clean that room.

I opened it, and saw my father laying on a chair by the bed with his feet up, and my girlfriend was sitting in front of him with her hands wrapped around one of the feet. They were both fully clothed. They both looked at me, I looked back, and I just quietly head back to my room, locking the door behind me.

I heard my girlfriend knocking on the door and telling me it was just a foot massage, and it’s not what I think, but I just ignored her. I heard my dad knocking too, calling me immature, and then my mother begging me to come out for food at least.

I tried to check her phone for any suspicious text messages, but it’s locked. I haven’t left my room all day. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel. Am I seriously just overreacting? How can I handle this? Please don’t mention the f**king Pulp Fiction scene, I don’t care.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

genZhippie −  Honestly I wouldn’t lock yourself in your room over it, but I’d definitely be like “yo wtf is up”. Is he a commanding person? Is their relationship relaxed, friendly, or just respectful? Is she easily told what to do and compliant out of fear to disrupt things? You have to talk to them about it, the silent treatment will accomplish nothing.

buterfliekisie −  Why is your dad asking your girlfriend for a foot massage? To give her the benefit of the doubt (and as a woman myself) she might have not felt comfortable saying “No” considering thats her in-law there might have been a subconscious feeling of obligation. But honestly, the best answer you will get will be from both of them. Why didnt he ask your mom? and why did she agree to giving him a foot massage, definetly weird to do.

Pwnzl −  Please mate, don’t forget to give us an update. I’m so curious about their explanation.

RoryJSK −  If your dad needed a foot massage he should have asked your mom, not made your girlfriend do it.. EDIT: removed my edit

No_Nick_Idea −  I’d call it suspicious and kinda creepy but without definitive proof it’s just that, suspicious and creepy. I mean, I don’t go around giving every grandma a foot massage.

therealeffndeal −  Pulp Fiction scene lmaao dead

Pixie-elf −  2 things could be going on. The first is, it’s innocent, abd maybe your Mom’s hands were too sore or arthritic to give a massage… The second is…She cleans every day in relative quietness but woke you up for no apparent reason?

And the door was left open so you could see what was occyring? I think you need to read between the lines. That behavior is abnormal, and maybe you need to see if he’s pressuring her to do s**t she doesn’t wanna do… or if he’s hurt her.

NotOnABreak −  Why the f**k is your girlfriend waking up at 6am to clean your house???

bobi2393 −  It was weird, no question, but possibly excusable. Maybe he had a sudden, severe foot cramp, and she was trying to help. (I’ve had such cramps, in feet and calves, and massaging helps, though I’ve always massaged myself).

Or if she was up cleaning the house, maybe she ran into your dad and suggested or asked for some other things she could do to feel like she’s contributing in exchange for room and board, and that was among them, as odd an option as it seems. Or maybe it wasn’t okay at all, like your dad has a foot fetish and pressured her, or they both do, and they’ve been doing secret 6am foot massages for weeks.

If your dad just has sore feet and likes foot massages in general, he should have rubbed them himself, asked your mother, or asked you; I don’t think your girlfriend should have been asked at all unless perhaps she’s made it known she’s unusually experienced or qualified at it. Holing up in your room for hours was also weird, and I share your dad’s opinion that it was immature.

A brief break to cool off might have been fine, but not hours. It needs to be addressed one way or another, and if you’re still holed up, there’s no time like the present. Come out, and tell your gf you’d like to speak in private. You could either lead with asking her what that was about, or first tell her it seemed inappropriate to you, but you’d like to hear her explanation.

Later you can do the same with your father if you want. If the conversation is not providing answers to your questions (e.g. if he makes it about you rather than him, reiterating your immaturity and denying any inappropriateness) then I’d suggest ending the conversation. Beyond that, it depends on what they say. I hope it’s a bump in the road you can get over.

issy_said −  I actually wanna know what happens when he comes out of his room

Situations like this can be complex and uncomfortable. It’s important to take time to process your feelings before jumping to conclusions. Have you ever been caught in a misunderstanding like this? What would you do next if you were in his shoes? Share your thoughts below.