I 24F had an argument with boyfriend 29M?

A young woman shares her struggle to reconcile with her boyfriend after a serious argument turned physical. Despite his apologies and promises to change, she feels deeply hurt and conflicted about whether their relationship can recover.

‘ I 24F had an argument with boyfriend 29M?’

Is this an argument that can be fixed? My (24F) boyfriend (29M) and I got into a really bad argument about 4 weeks ago. We’ve been living together since December of last year and have had plenty of arguments but they’ve never gotten this bad. During the argument he is throwing my things outside while it’s raining and telling me to leave. I have my parents come and help me grab my things so I can leave. He tries to throw my clothes outside and I’m crying at him to stop.

I get in front of him to try to grab it, he then grabs both of my arms and throws me to the ground. Leaving huge bruises on my arms for about a week after and a giant cut on my hand that is still healing. I finally leave for the night but came back 4 days later because we both decided we wanted to work it out. He’s been very apologetic and has been for attentive with things, but I cannot get over that fight. He had never put his hands on me before and I feel like since he was just drunk, he didn’t mean it.

He says it won’t happen again and I don’t know how I feel about it. Everything was going perfect before, it’s truly been the life that I’ve always dreamed of whenever I had thought about my future with someone. He never has laid a hand on me, I wouldn’t say he’s abusive. I just feel so gross about what he did though and I’m not sure how to navigate any of this. My friends and family support me with whatever decision I choose. I’m so hurt and really any advice would be appreciated. I’ve never lived with anyone before, did I overstep something? The argument was about him driving home drunk.

Update: I was able to get my own place and plan to leave while he’s working on Saturday. I heard all of you, I know it will not get better with him. With that being said, I am still so heartbroken. I really thought that this was it for me. Before the fight, we had everything going right for ourselves and I can’t help but think of the good things that we had despite what he did. That night was so out of left field. This isn’t my first break up but it definitely feels like it. I don’t understand how he hurt me the way he did and how I still want to work it out knowing that it’s not fixable. He’s left me no choice though, I signed my lease today. That’s it. That’s the post. Thank you.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

rosabelle393 −  I 24F was drunkenly assaulted by my boyfriend 29M. Fixed it for you. It sounds like you already know the answer, a man who is willing to a**ault you over a crime he committed is not a safe man.

Longjumping-Fun1332 −  Don’t walk …. RUN.. I wish you the best!

Wise_woman_1 −  The first time is often followed by tears and apologies, the tears and apologies come less and less with each time after that.

TABrokenHearted72 −  It’s never a far step from being drunk and verbally aggressive to drunk and physically aggressive. It’s already happened once and will happen again if you stick it out with him because you’re showing him that he can do that to you. The arguments will get worse and worse as time goes on…just look at your past “we’ve had arguments but never this bad.” Relationships ending might hurt but your future is so much brighter without him. You don’t need him.

hufflepufflepass −  he was just drunk, he didn’t mean it. He says it won’t happen again. The biggest lie ever told, trust me.

bruinbear913 −  You know what the answer is, especially since you can’t get over the fight. Run girl, this is not your boyfriend anymore.

JACKHD72 −  When you say, “I wouldn’t say he’s abusive,” you are in fact, saying that he is abusive. If he wasn’t abusive, he wouldn’t have to say that in the first place. No matter how good it was, you’ve now seen what he’s capable of. Please don’t go back, they never change. And it will only get worse.

Ok-Boysenberry1022 −  Don’t stay with someone who physically abuses you and leaves you bruised up.. Next time call the police.

WakeoftheStorm −  I am an a**oholic. I have been very drunk and very angry with my wife in the past. I have never, ever, hit her in anger. I would never make her feel insecure in her place in our home. Being drunk is not an excuse.

Wild_Builder1457 −  He hurt you once. He’ll do it again.

Piilootus −  This is the best possible update for a post like yours. I’m so glad you took the advice given to you and acted accordingly. It could not have been easy, but you’ve taken all the right steps so far.. Seriously well done.

Parkerwynn64 −  When you do meet the person who is perfect for you, you won’t even remember what this guy looked like! Hopefully, no one will ever make you feel like he did, again!

elisebucci −  Proud of you!!

Grouchy-Storm-6758 −  Go online and forward your mail to either a PO Box or a friend’s house.
Make sure to remove his access to all streaming services, and make sure you change your password on things like your banking app, or anything of that nature!. Good luck

Calm-Development911 −  Good for you!! You signing that lease was an act of true self love. You deserve it. I know it’s hard, and you’ve heard this before, but it gets easier, and feelings are temporary. Look back on this one day and feel proud of yourself!

ExRiverFish4557 −  Glad you’re safe and taking this all so seriously. Not only did he do something to you that can’t be overlooked, he did so defending an action that you were right to call him out on.
It’s hard now, but it will get better. Give yourself time and lean on your family and friends. It might be smart to tell the people around you not to give him your address and get a camera or two for the new apartment.

SnooWords4839 −  I’m glad you escaped.
Take time to read this – [Why Does He Do That PDF Free download by Lundy Bancroft – Free Books Mania](https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html)

leolawilliams5859 −  I want you to be safe and do not ever tell him where you live

PlaidyLady −  I am so proud.  Nothing you could have done would have justified him hurting you.  You did the right thing getting out.  You can do this!  

Queen-of-narnia −  Proud of you. Make sure to delete all addresses, contacts, emails and people close to him. Also clean out your phone and make sure he is not tracking it.