I [24F] found out my best friend [24F] had s** with my boyfriend [26F]; I’m upset and can’t believe it

A Reddit user shared a heartbreaking story about finding out that her best friend and boyfriend betrayed her trust in the worst way possible. After years of friendship and a loving relationship, she was blindsided by the revelation that her boyfriend and best friend had been sneaking around behind her back. Now, she’s left feeling hurt, humiliated, and unsure of how to move forward. Read the full story below to understand the emotional fallout and offer your advice.

‘ I [24F] found out my best friend [24F] had s** with my boyfriend [26F]; I’m upset and can’t believe it’

I don’t where to begin. I feel so embarrassed coming here and asking for advice. My boyfriend Steve and I have been dating for over a year in a half. I met him in one of my upper level classes two years ago. At the time he was finishing up his degree, before moving on and working on his masters.

Since we started talking, seeing each other, and dating casually; I really loved our entire relationship. Steve and I had a lot of similar interests, which included traveling. We did a small trip to South America a couple months ago for a few weeks (Peru and Chile).

We had an amazing time! It was once we got back form our trip that I saw our relationship in a whole different way. We travelled well together, and bonded in a new way. I knew I was in a great relationship!

I thought we had a great relationship, until I got some news a few days ago. Three days ago, I went over to drop a macbook charger over at my best friends house, Chenelle. Chenelle and I have been best friend since we were in high school from the age of 16 years old.

I have always considered her to be my number one, and closest person in my life. I have noticed that the past 6 months we haven’t hangout in the same capacity that we usually have. Both of us have been busy with our lives (school, work, relationships, etc).

But, I kinda got the feeling after this past year of university around April, that she was starting to drift. She had a s**tty relationship with her ex that lasted under a year. He cheated on her with a coworker, and the rest is history. They broke “officially” around the end of January.

As I went over to drop off her extra charger that she borrowed, I talked with her mom for a bit. Chenelle ended up getting called in to pick up an extra serving shift at the restaurant she has worked at during her degree. Her mom wanted to talk to me about a few things. I was puzzled.. Chenelle’s mom was always really outgoing and funny.

We had known each other for over 8 years at least. But, she wanted to have a serous talk. Chenelle’s mom, “Karen”, went on to tell me that she saw Steve and Chenille sneak around the back of the house about a month or so ago. Karen went on to explain that she noticed this happening two other times.

At first, she thought we were all hanging out. But, Karen told me that she got a weird gut feeling on this situation. She told me that I should talk to Steve and Chenelle ASAP. Steve and I were supposed to go out for dinner last night. He picked me up, and off we went.

I felt really gross and humiliated the entire time we were out. We ate dinner, had a couple drinks, but we didn’t talk much. Steve kept asking me all night what was the matter. I told him “nothing”.

Finally, when we got back to my place, we sat in my room and I asked him. I asked him, and told him what Chenelle’s mom (Karen) told me. He didn’t answer. In fact, he went pale white. That gave me the answer I needed. I broke down and Steve tried to comfort me. I didn’t want him touching me.

I didn’t even want to hear it! I told him to leave, but I basically had to force him to leave. I tried calling Chenelle and texted her that I needed to talk to her. I got no response. Not one. Basically, two of the closest people I have had in my life betrayed me. This is so terrible and I feel so s**tty. I have like no one right now. Sorry for all of the grammar and title mistakes.. —

**tl;dr**: I [24F] found out from my best friends mom Karen [late 40ish] that my best friend Chenelle [24F] had s** with my boyfriend Steve [26M]. I am so upset, and I can’t believe it. There is more detailed information in the post – sorry. I really don’t know how to move forward and proceed in this situation.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

jrbrick003 −  Wow, Chenille’s mom did you a solid beyond what any normal person would do. She’s the hero in this story…. but I think that this story might have a very s**tty middle… but a happy ending.

D**p Steve.. and your ex-bestfriend. These two people betrayed your trust and showed their true colours. You will NEVER have self respect if you let these two people stay in your life. You didn’t do anything to deserve what happened and you deserved a lot more from both of them.

So… in short… start over. This is your chance to find two better people in your life. I would personally make sure Steve came and got his stuff.. or… you got your stuff and moved out before Monday…

and I would block all contact from him. I would simply never speak to Chenille again and send Karen flowers thanking her for saving you from her daughter and a horrible relationship.

Leightcomer −  I would ghost Steve, to be honest. He doesn’t deserve any sort of closure. I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Cut them both out of your life. Let mutual friends know what happened, so that they know who they’re dealing with.

[Reddit User] −

1. Cut all contact with both of them right now. Don’t tell them you’re cutting contact, just do it. They need no explanation from you.

2. Buy Karen flowers or a thank you card, or even a bottle of wine or beer. You know her best. She really did you a favor that not many people would have done. You owe her that.

3. You need to tell mutual friends what happened. As many as you can, but confide to them from a place of hurt and friendship. You need to do this because I would not put it past your ex-best friend and ex-boyfriend to lie, but you’ll also find from your friends support and empathy (if they don’t, then you know they’re not your friends).

But tell people your side of the story. It will help to talk about it and you’ll find friends who support you. You’re not alone in this. Also tell your family. You need all the support you can get right now.

4. Focus on yourself. Cry all you want. Eat what ever you want. Binge watch sappy movies on Netflix. Whatever. And when you’re done and feeling a little better (you won’t feel much better, but you’ll feel a little better) start hanging out with friends and family. Start FORCING yourself to get out of the house.

You’ll literally have to force yourself, I’ve been in your situation. Go to the gym, go shopping, volunteer at the humane society with kitties and puppies, hang out with friends at every opportunity and at the end of the day…it’s okay to just cry. Day by day you’ll start to feel a tiny bit better.

5. Absolutely. Never. Talk. To these two people again. Never. Ever. Lots of hugs. And you’re not alone. Absolutely do not feel embarrassed. Feel angry, feel upset, feel hurt. But do not feel embarrassed. You have no reason to. You did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing wrong. The embarrassment is on them. 100%. You’ve got this, lady! You can do this.

blamedandbroken −  Count your blessings that you found out at 24 and not later on in life that your friends a home wrecker. Cut them out.

VultureSoup −  First of all, her mom awesome. Second, I would ghost him so he gets no closure. Since he doesn’t even deserve it.. Also *Hugs*

EarlGreyhair −  Hugs. Sounds like he already gave her a heads up and she’s too scared to face you right now. Give yourself some space. You’ve only just found out about this and it’s going to take a while to process this. Perhaps talk it over with a therapist if you’re having trouble moving past the hurt of it. For now, talk it over with someone you can trust.

ender_less −

Step#1 Cut out Steve and Chenelle

Step#2 Buy Steve’s mom a bottle of wine or a six pack. Steve’s Mom was awesome and didn’t hesitate to tell you her suspicions. As for your “friend” and your bf: they both decide that their temporary pleasure trumped their relationship with you.

They had absolutely no problem lying, cheating behind your back and potentially exposing you to STD’s (you should get tested). And they would have continued to do that if they didn’t get caught.

I know that doesn’t make the here and now better, but if you ever get an inkling to bring them back in your life you should remember that. They aren’t looking out for your best interests, just their own, and that’s what you should be doing now.

Focus on yourself, drop the trash, and work on moving past this all. That includes blocking them both on everything (facebook, emails, texts/phone). No need to listen to their lies and rationalizations for betraying you.

[Reddit User] −  Karen is the true friend here. She could have covered for her daughter and said nothing, instead she did the right thing. Unload your friend and your BF there is no coming back from this. I am very sorry this happened to you.

doozerequinox −  I was in a very similar situation many years ago and I tried to forgive everyone involved because I thought it was the right thing to do. It didn’t work. My former best friend and I became very competitive about everything. I never trusted my ex again.

And I was miserable until my life situation changed enough where I didn’t have to see either of them on a regular basis. Leave them behind and move on. You deserve better. And consider traveling on your own if you feel comfortable doing so – it was a very liberating experience for me.

TheCockKnight −  You’ve got to be a real scumbag to bang your best friends SO. Good riddance.

Betrayal from the people we trust most can leave deep emotional scars. What advice would you give to someone facing this kind of heartbreak? Is reconciliation possible, or should she walk away from both relationships? Share your thoughts and support in the comments below.