I (21M) don’t have any facial hair. My girlfriend(20F) of 9 months says she’s disappointed because hairy men are more attractive. She can’t stop talking about it and I feel very insecure now.
A 21-year-old man struggles with insecurity after his girlfriend frequently comments on her attraction to hairy men, particularly those with beards, a trait he genetically lacks. Though their relationship has been great otherwise, her remarks leave him feeling inadequate. Read the full story below:
‘ I (21M) don’t have any facial hair. My girlfriend(20F) of 9 months says she’s disappointed because hairy men are more attractive. She can’t stop talking about it and I feel very insecure now.’
So me and my girlfriend Amy met through mutual friends and immediately hit it off. These last months have been great, and I’m really happy with her.. But there’s a problem. See, I have no facial hair. At all. My dad never had any, not did my grandfather, so I think it’s genetic.
I don’t really care that I don’t have it, but Amy does, a lot. She’s always on about how she gets excited at the thought of me with a beard, and how she loves the friction burn that kissing a bearded guy gives her. I feel insecure when she says stuff like that, because I know she’s referencing her kisses with other guys who had beards. I asked her if it’s really that sexy for her, and she said yes.
I’ll probably never have facial hair, and she’ll probably never stop commenting on how sexy it is. She says she feels safe when hugging hairy guys 🙁 I know everybody has preferences, but I can’t help but feel insecure that I don’t have something that excites her so much. What should I do? And what would you do in my situation?
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
Vessira − You tell her you’re unlikely to ever have facial hair, that it runs in the family. Tell her you would appreciate if she would stop talking about how sexy beards are, as it’s starting to make you feel insecure about something you have no control over. And if having a hairy guy is that big a deal for her, maybe you’re just not compatible.
that1guypdx − Buh-bye. She’s an ass.
imaddicted2u − Dude, your girlfriend kinda sucks for that. She should love you for who you are! Does she know how this makes you feel about yourself? That inadequate insecurity is a real confidence k**ler when it’s coming from someone you are intimately involved with.
If you haven’t already, you need to let her know how this makes you feel and explain your heritage, because the reality is that she might not get the hairy man of her dreams. If hair is a dealbreaker for her, then you’re probably better off moving on to somebody who will appreciate your lack of facial hair. And there are a lot of those types out there man.
bladedada − And what would you do in my situation? I would break up with someone who was constantly insulting me.
[Reddit User] − I would take it as a sign she’s keeping you around until some hairy douchebag comes along. Don’t waste your time with this one, her attitude is extremely inconsiderate, and I wonder how’d she feel if she had small boobs and you went on and on about how you like busty women?
[Reddit User] − “So if I couldn’t walk would you comment on how much you enjoy men who can dance?” “Mmm. I find girls who love smoothed faced men so sexy. Nothing sexier really.” If it were me: I’d let her know …that at any time… she’s free to go find a hairy man.
And that if she keeps commenting on it, you’ll help her with that journey. Plenty of girls enjoy the smooth face, and chest and back. I imagine you were beardless when she slummed into dating a face follicle challenged man? There must have been something that overrode her apparent loathing and disgust, Smoothskin.
[Reddit User] − Tell her, “If you want a man with facial hair, go find one. I am not going to change. Personally I want a woman that doesn’t challenge my masculinity.”
This is kind of the nuclear bomb conversation ender. Its a silent ultimatum.
fbtp_tech − That’s not cool of her. Let her know what she’s saying bothers you and if she can’t get over it, you’re going to have to move on. There are plenty of nice girls who like unhairy dudes.
Ghost_Ghoul_Guy − Tell her if she wants a beard so much than she can hit the bricks and go find some grimey hipster. Otherwise, knock that s**t off. Then tell her you can grow out your pubes if she wants and she can start going to town. Compromise.
[Reddit User] − was thinking about this yesterday. as ive started online dating, i’ve noticed women will say “beard is required” or “super attracted to a great beard”. for people who can’t grow a beard, thats essentially the equivalent of saying: “i prefer c cups, at least” or “the juicier the titties, the better!”
Should he address his girlfriend’s comments head-on or accept that their preferences may clash? How can he navigate this situation while maintaining his confidence? Share your thoughts below!
For those who want to read the sequel: https://aita.pics/oGnLq