I (20F) am being accused of cheating on my husband (22M) because of our child’s (1M) looks?

A Reddit user shares a heartfelt story of dealing with baseless accusations of infidelity because of her child’s changing physical appearance. Despite her husband’s unwavering support, the judgment from friends and family leaves her questioning how to handle this situation. Read her story below.

‘ I (20F) am being accused of cheating on my husband (22M) because of our child’s (1M) looks?’

My husband and I have been married since I was 18, and a year ago we had our first child. At first, our son looked exactly like us, but the older he gets the darker his skin gets (its medium brown right now). The problem here is that me and my husband are both pale.

So, a little background story, we live in Europe but neither me nor my husband are fully white. I am multiracial, my grandfather is Asian, and my grandmother is Indigenous Asian (imagine someone who looks like a Papuan, so basically, elsewhere she would be considered black). The other side of my family is white, hence my pale skin. My husband is fully Middle Eastern, but he and his whole extended family are very pale-skinned.

After our son started growing and his skin began to darken, at first I noticed people (strangers and even some relatives) giving me a lot of n**ty looks when I would be out with him and my husband, but recently I have been getting verbally accused of cheating on him.

A few of my “friends” (20s F) have said to me that they “know” my husband isn’t my son’s real father, and they’ve been asking me who the real father is. My husband has told me that his relatives and some of his friends have asked him if he is sure that it’s his kid.

Even my (white) mom (40sF) confronted me once when I was visiting her and said something along the lines of “are you sure that you didn’t cheat?” (translated) and “have you still been in contact with X?” (X is my ex boyfriend from when I was a TEENAGER, no I haven’t been in contact with him in years, and also she asked this only because X is black).

I am honestly so hurt and in disbelief. I have never cheated on my husband and couldn’t even imagine doing such a thing. I feel like our relatives and friends have stopped trusting me and have branded me as a cheater.

My husband is supportive and always says that he knows that our son is his child (I mean, they even have the exact same facial features), but I’m scared that eventually even he will start doubting me. I don’t know what to do, I mean technically I could do a paternity test and show everyone the results, but I feel like that would just give off the implication that I slept with someone else since we had to do the test.

Check out how the community responded:

raining-sloths −  If anything, do a test and only share the results with your husband. No one else’s opinion matters, and this way, your husband will have your back no matter what. Everyone else just needs to mind their damn business and have no place to be commenting on this.

fzybuni −  Genetics are weird. My whole family did 23 and Me DNA tests, and then my mother called the company because my sister and I had different percentages of ancestry, and she thought that meant we weren’t her children. Even though the test said we were.

The poor customer rep then had to explain genetics to my mother for over an hour. My mother is a DOCTOR! My ex is Alaskan Native, and he is oddly upset that our daughter doesn’t “look native”. She’s blond with blue eyes, but definitely his. I’d say have everyone take the DNA test and stop this talk in its tracks.

ticky_tacky_wacky −  Get a DNA test and then tell all all your “friends” who doubted you to f**k off. You don’t owe anyone a DNA test but it might quell any fears your husband might be having. I would say refusing a DNA test would be more suspicious than not getting one

[Reddit User] −  Paternity test followed by group mssg to all the doubters together, “You all have treated me with such contempt that me and hubby had to go to this ridiculous level to show you how hateful and ignorant you have all been.

post results- we’ll be waiting on your sincere apologies, and until we receive them we want nothing further to do with any of you.” united front with you and hubby, and call out and public shaming on the haters.. You and him against them, That makes it much harder to double down on you having to get the test to prove to hubby baby is his.

Doubt and hateful rumours thrive in the dark, shine a light on them and their horrible behaviour. It lets the rumour mongers know you know what they’ve been saying and simultaneously disempowers it.

It’s likely they’ll scramble to disassociate themselves with the title of ignorant rumour spreader who doesnt know s**t about genetics, and start protesting and pointing the finger at the others. And anyone who is like “its an understandable mistake” will make themselves known, and you will then know who needs to be on a more permanent timeout

Edit to say: thank you for the awards kind redditors, youre awesome

babyishAuri −  Woow you’re surrounded by ignorant pieces of s**t, cut those “friends” out of your life rn. Talk to your husband heart to heart, tell him that whenever he wants you’ll run a paternity test on your child because you care what ***he – and only he-*** thinks and you don’t want this nonsense get into your marriage

jazscam −  That implication is already out, paternity test is the only solution.. Good luck.

Katie-MacDonut −  Yeah no. The distrust here is absolutely staggering. Even if you got the damn test, I don’t know that YOUR trust in them will ever recover. I say give them the test, AND your middle finger on your way out the door.

I originally thought your husband was asking, but if he’s supporting you? He’ll tell his family to stuff it, and cut them out if they don’t. You don’t owe anybody a test though, it’d just be nice to watch them choke on all their judgement.

Maliboomtastic86 −  If your husband doesnt have any concerns, you owe nobody anything. You dont have to prove to anyone anything. Tell them all to read a book on genetics. With the heritage you guys have it doesnt sound unreasonable your son could have a darker complexion.

My husband and I are both white but tan with dark hair and eyes. However both our mothers are blond and blue eyes. We joked all the time that our daughter could end up looking nothing like us. She didnt but it was a very real possibility.. In the end it’s nobody’s business.

Bitter-Onion −  Get a DNA test done. Genetics are wild af. I have a friend who, when you look at her, is white. Like pale white. Her sister, from the same mom and dad, is very dark skinned. Their dad is black and their mom is about the middle of the road, not black but not white either; vary tan. My friend looks nothing like either parent.

But she did in fact come from her parents. Even in the sun, she doesn’t get darker, just burns, unlike everyone else in her immediate family. So yeah. Genetics are really wacky. Like I’m the only person in my family in like 3 generations to have blonde hair. And my friend and her family. But since they already assume you cheated, a test is the only thing going to put this all to rest.

Aloise500 −  I’d get a DNA test done, write ‘f**k you’ on it and hand it out to all of these jerks. Fair play to your husband for being so supportive, high five him from me.

This story highlights the struggles of navigating societal biases and the importance of trust within relationships. It’s a reminder that genetics can be beautifully unpredictable, and love should be stronger than doubts. Have you or someone you know faced similar challenges? Share your thoughts in the comments.