I (15M) broke my arm playing football. Mum (38F) is upset I asked my friends to get my other Mum (40F) who’s a surgeon. (38F) left and is staying with friends.

A Redditor (15M) broke his arm while playing football and asked his friends to get his mom, Cindy, who is a surgeon, to help him. This has caused a major fallout between his two moms, Cindy and Jasmine, with Jasmine feeling hurt that he turned to Cindy instead of her.

The situation escalated to the point where Cindy left and is staying with friends. Now, the Redditor is confused about the argument and unsure how to fix things. Read the original story below to get the full context:

‘ I (15M) broke my arm playing football. Mum (38F) is upset I asked my friends to get my other Mum (40F) who’s a surgeon. (38F) left and is staying with friends.’

I have same s** parents. I call them both mum but for the purpose of this, I’ll call them by their names. On Saturday I was hanging out with some friends. We decided to go to the footy field behind my house and kick the ball around. I took a bad fall and I broke my arm. I told my one of my mates to run and get Cindy (suregon mom).

Both Cindy and Jasmine came out and took me to the hospital Cindy works at. I ended up getting my arm seen too. And yeah that’s how it happened. Come Monday, the two of them started fighting. Jaz is upset that I asked my friends to get Cindy. Apparently my friends ignored her and went right to Cindy when they came to tell her.

And it’s just spiralled into this much bigger thing. And it got very ugly with a bunch of stuff I am not privy too until then. I don’t understand because I’ve never favoured one over the other. Jaz and I do plenty of s**t together as she doesn’t work as much as Cindy. So we often do a lot of stuff together. But the argument got so bad with Cindy last night that she left and is staying with friends. Unsure of what to do.

See what others had to share with OP:

Flash_ina_pan −  I doubt your injury and request for Cindy had a ton to do with it. It’s far more likely other things were going on and this became the breaking point. Let them work it out and try not to worry too much. Relationships are complex and sometimes there’s just a lot going on.

Proper_Garlic3171 −  As others have said, this doesn’t really have to do with you. I’ll add, *good* parents don’t involve their kids in their martial issues, which is why this seems so sudden and you aren’t getting a lot of information about the situation. Their relationship is not your relationship with either of them, and they’re trying to keep it that way.

I think they should still talk to you about it, for the exact reason you made this post: you feel like it’s your fault or that you had a part in this when you didn’t. It’s important for parents to talk to their kids when they’re having big issues for the kid doesn’t internalize it or think they were a factor. Try to have a talk to your moms and say how you’re feeling

ShutUpMorrisseyffs −  This isn’t your fault or really anything to do with you. It’s something they have to sort out for themselves. It makes logical sense that the parent with medical expertise is the one your friends went to. There’s no favouritism here. Don’t beat yourself up; just focus on healing. You are a neutral person in their disagreement. Really, they should be focused on your wellbeing above anything else.

saucisse −  There is nothing you can do. This is not about you at all, and you need to remember that. This is about them, their relationship, and things that have been going on between them for a long time. I know its hard because from your perspective it looks like cause – effect, but part of the job of parents is keeping their childrens’ lives as comfortable as possible,

and that frequently means (or should mean) that they hide their interpersonal strife from you. Think of this like an iceberg: there is a little bit poking out from the water that you only just noticed because you sailed close enough to see it but the larger mass of ice has been under the surface for a long time.

I’m sorry that this is happening, it must be really hard for everyone. Separations are really painful for everyone. Sometimes people need a break to figure out what what the right thing to do is, but nothing about it is easy or good.

thedarkestbeer −  There is really and truly nothing for you to do here. You did nothing wrong. Your friends should probably have told Jasmine instead of charging ahead to find Cindy, but they were worried about you.

This is pretty clearly between her and Cindy, and they’ll need to resolve it together. I hope she comes back with an apology for you, because asking an injured teenager to manage an adult’s feelings is a bit unreasonable. Either way, I hope this blows over quickly.

baby_armadillo −  You are not responsible for your parents relationship issues. You didn’t cause it, you’re not the root of it, and anything that’s happening is not your fault. Adults often forget that kids and teens are really observant and are very very aware of what’s happening around them. Let them know what you’re worried about, and talk to them. They probably have no idea that you’re feeling this way.

frotc914 −  My wife is a pediatric ER doc, and I would expect my kid to go looking for her in such a situation because that just makes sense. If Jaz was a baker and you needed help making a cake, you wouldn’t go to Cindy. There’s definitely some other issues boiling under the surface between them. That sucks, but you shouldn’t feel at all like your injury kicked this all off.

Stingerc −  My dad is an oncologist, he, like Cindy probably does, works long, long hours. It’s part of the gig. My mom often complained about this, mostly out of concern about his well-being and lack of time with us. It never got ugly, but I could see how hurt my mom was whenever my dad had to cancel on us for the millionth time because of an emergency at his practice or hospital.

Being around other doctors and surgeons, this was also common. It’s a demanding field that eats a lot of time, resulting in one parent taking the brunt of the work raising kids and keeping a home, which can result in resentment that builds up over time. Like others have pointed, this wasn’t about you or what happened, it probably was just the stroke that broke the camels back.

Waste-Win −  It really has nothing to do with you. It sounds like there was a lot of resentment and this situation gave her the push to pull it all out. As much as you love them, this is not your relationship so let them work it out.

tritis −  You did absolutely nothing wrong. Part of growing up is differentiating your parents beyond “Mom”. You learn they are also “wife” or “sister” or “surgeon”. (Not in your case, sometimes you realize they have bad roles as well like “a**oholic” or “abuser”.)

You recognized Cindy as surgeon which is reasonable. The fight between them however involves their roles as wives, which is between them. Sometimes partners just need some time apart. I’d just focus on recovering from your injury while they work out their issue between themselves.

It’s tough when misunderstandings between parents affect a child, especially when you’re just trying to handle a painful injury. The Redditor is caught in the middle of a difficult situation, and it’s clear that his intention wasn’t to hurt either mom. What do you think? Should he try to mediate the situation between his moms, or is it a matter they need to work out themselves? Share your thoughts below.