Husband went to casino for my birthday, without me.

A Reddit user shared their frustration about their husband leaving for the casino on their birthday while they were at work, adding to ongoing issues in their relationship. Despite working long hours and being the primary breadwinner, the user feels underappreciated as her husband, who is unemployed, prioritizes his own enjoyment.

Compounding the problem is a history of drug use and inappropriate messaging with other people, leaving the user questioning their marriage. After this incident, the user is feeling exhausted and unsure of how to proceed. To dive deeper into the situation and see what others have advised, read the full story below…

‘ Husband went to casino for my birthday, without me.’

So yesterday was my birthday, had to work a 12 hour shift through the whole day. My coworkers and job are amazing and I had a great day. My husband had some leftovers heated up for me when I got home which was super nice of him. So I end up falling asleep late, and wake up and call him to see where he’s at.

He’s at the casino with his buddy… Idk if I’m overreacting, or if I should just end it all now. We are both 29 been together almost 10 years, and have two sons together. About a year and a half now he has had issues with drugs and talking inappropriately with other women.

I have begged him not to leave in the middle of the night, it makes me worry tremendously if he’s cheating or overdosed somewhere. He just leaves, no note, nothing. Idk I don’t even want to talk to him. How do I comprehend this situation? I feel like if he wants to act single, go ahead. I work my ass off, he has no job and he’s the one who gets to go have fun? I’m really exhausted from it all and would appreciate any advice..

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

swansongblue −  You need to reassess your definition of ‘super nice’ OP. What he did for you, on your birthday was minimalist at the very best. It is really sad to read that you have come to accept him, his behaviour and treatment of you, as normal and to then praise him for having slightly inconvenienced himself by making you something to eat. I really hope that something nice happens for you soon. Good luck.

Buez −  he has no job and he’s the one who gets to go have fun. Could you tell a bit more about his. How does he spend his day to day life? I assume he does groceries, takes care of the kids, cleans, washes etc. Also what money does he take to the casino? If this is something you have actually talked about in the past he is simply not giving a single F about how you feel.

[Reddit User] −  Well this probably doesn’t help since I’m only 22 with no kids, and the kids probably make everything more difficult. But since you’ve asked him not to do that and he still does, I’d leave him. Maybe that would make him realize that you are serious. Because now he’s too comfortable thinking you’ll never leave so he can do whatever

WavesnMountains −  D**p him, one less child to support

MrsP81405 −  If hes using drugs and you have children you need to leave, even if it’s just a separation till he fixes things. It’s your responsibility to protect your children. They shouldn’t be around drugs or left alone with someone who is using.

maizymoon −  I seriously hope you have a bank account that he has no access to because he sounds like the type to impulsively wipeout all of your savings for gambling or drugs, or even a spontaneous want(like a child). If you are going to put up with him in your life at least protect yourself financially so that if and when the day comes that you decide to go, you can do so easily.

Noononsense −  He needs a wake up call. At the very least you should separate. He’s not working he’s spending money gambling you probably don’t have with 2 kids and just 1 income. His d**g use and inappropriate contact with women all say he definitely needs a wake up call.

He needs to understand that he may lose his family if he doesn’t straighten out. It sounds like it’s reached the point where you’re past having a conversation. You need to take action.

gay_flatulent −  You are asking if you should leave the flirtatious unemployed addict whose issues have escalated over the last 18 months, rounding it out in an all night gambling binge after he sold a chainsaw for cash? Super nice of him to leave you warmed up leftovers for your birthday. Look I don’t know if you think he can change or if he’s on the cusp of cleaning his life up,

but I do know that as of yesterday, he’s teaching your sons that it’s ok to booze, d**g and gamble while treating their mom like dirt after a 12 hour shift. Decide soon what the best course of action is before your sons become men like their Dad.

Fatt3stAveng3r −  My husband had some leftovers heated up for me when I got home which was super nice of him.  WOW HE IS AMAZING /s. I have begged him not to leave in the middle of the night, it makes me worry tremendously if he’s cheating or overdosed somewhere.

YES STAY WITH THE CHEATING D**G ADDICT HE IS SO NICE FOR KNOWING HOW TO TURN THE DIAL ON THE MICROWAVE, LIKE WE ALL LEARNED TO OPERATE AS SIX YEAR OLDS/s.
You are now, and have been for years, under reacting and staying with him while he gives you literally…nothing.

Oh, I’m sorry, “He watches the baby, picks up a little. I do all of the laundry, dishes, and kids baths. I guess he had sold a chainsaw while I was at work and got money. But I still had to pay for baby food.” He’s such a treasure/s. Girl, leave him behind ten years ago. What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING

Ruthless_Bunny −  Soooooo…nothing really about your birthday here, is there? Yes. Please drop him. You have enough on your plate. If he won’t get sober, get a job and actually contribute, what’s the point of him? You’ve enabled him enough. Release him so he can get his act together.

Do you think the user’s frustration is justified, or should they give their husband the benefit of the doubt? How would you handle a relationship where priorities and responsibilities feel so uneven? Share your perspective and join the conversation below!