How should my girlfriend (24F) and I (28M) split costs for a condo I own?

A 28-year-old man who owns a condo is planning to move in with his girlfriend (24F) and wants to find a fair way to split living expenses without causing tension. He pays $2,700/month for the condo, with $1,800 going toward his mortgage and $900 covering HOA fees, taxes, and utilities.

Since he benefits directly from the mortgage payments, he feels uncomfortable asking her to contribute to that. Instead, he proposes that she pay the HOA and taxes while he covers the rest. He’s seeking advice on whether this is a fair approach and how to avoid introducing power imbalances in their relationship. Read the full story below.

‘ How should my girlfriend (24F) and I (28M) split costs for a condo I own?’

I (28M) own a condo that I pay 2700/month for. About 1800 of that goes to principal/interest while the other 900 goes to HOA/taxes, HOA includes shared facilities, internet, cable, water, etc.

My girlfriend (24F) of two years and I have been talking about moving in together, and I’m wondering what a fair way to split expenses would be that wouldn’t cause tension. I don’t want her paying my mortgage, as I would be benefitting directly from money she would never see back. She also makes about half as much as me in her job.

Would it be reasonable for her to pay HOA/taxes, and I pay for the principal/interest/utilities? I figure that way she isn’t paying my mortgage while also saving ~600/month on what she would be paying otherwise. I would be paying $2000 while she pays $900. It seems fair to me but maybe there’s something I’m missing.

To be clear, my question has more to do with the dynamics and power imbalances that this might introduce rather than the financial aspect itself, although I know the two are intertwined.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Late_Association_851 −  I personally think that’s is fair all around, you both save money and pay proportionate bills.

Slw202 −  I think that’s a thoughtful and reasonable solution!

steelgripphoenix −  She’s going to pay someone’s mortgage whether she lives with you or somewhere else, but yeah paying the HOA fee sounds fair

kalamitykitten −  I think your solution looks perfect. You’ve done an excellent job at factoring in that her income is lower than yours and trying to make it fair for her. You’d own the apartment either way and so this is pretty symbiotic. You’re scratching her back, she’s scratching yours.

drumstickballoonhead −  Probably one of the most reasonable and fair solutions I’ve seen from an OP on Reddit!

GimmeNewAccount −  If it was me, I’d pay the mortgage and split the utilities 50/50. The house is legally yours only, but both of you use the utilities. Sure she’s staying there rent-free, but relationships are not zero-sum games.

larry_birch99 −  That sounds perfectly fair/equitable to me.

jaz_lee_cole_93 −  As long as it’s fair to each person’s income, I think its good. My ex had me paying exactly half of the bills, which wasn’t fair in our case because half of the bills was 50% of his monthly income, where as half of the bills was 95% of my monthly income. I’d be left with almost nothing. So even though she is paying less than you, if you believe that’s fair based on her income, it doesn’t have to be exactly half of the bills.

kgberton −  You should pay everything you’re obligated to as homeowner, which is everything, and she should pay everything she’s obligated to as tenant, which is rent of some agreed upon amount. Split utilities.

Doubleendedmidliner −  If you don’t want her paying the mortgage, don’t ask her to pay HOA/taxes either, bc that goes hand in hand together. I’d stick to her having to pay other utilities cable, internet, gas/electric, even stuff like Netflix. And then maybe groceries for the two of you. There’s plenty of other household expenses she can cover without getting entangled in your mortgage/hoa/taxes.

Finding a fair way to split expenses when one partner owns the property can be tricky, especially when considering power dynamics in the relationship. Have you ever navigated a similar situation? How did you ensure fairness? Share your thoughts below!