How can I (17F) thank my step mother (41F) for everything she has done for me?

A 17-year-old Redditor wants to thank her stepmother, Anna, for everything she has done for her. Despite being unexpectedly thrust into a step-parent role, Anna embraced her, supporting her through childhood and never speaking ill of her mother, even when tensions arose. The Redditor sees how rare and special this bond is and wants to find a meaningful way to express her gratitude. Read the full story below:

‘ How can I (17F) thank my step mother (41F) for everything she has done for me?’

My story is quite ‘strange’. My father (45M) and Anna have been together for a bit more than 18 years. Before that my Dad and my mom had a fling that lasted 3 months and then it ended and he met Anna. My mom and dad didn’t talk until I was 3, so both my dad and Anna were unaware of my existance. My mother didn’t want to tell him, or didn’t care. I don’t know.

What i do know is that when I was 3 she contacted him, a DNA test was done and she basically forced us to have a relationship. While this was a shock to my father, Who suddenly had a 3 year old walking around his house, it probably was a bigger shock to Anna. Who thought that she had just moved in with a child less man yet she got both a boyfriend and a toddler.

Anna has been, from Day 1, a brillant person. I always felt welcome, she drove me to school, to the doctor’s, to playdates, to hockey practice. She thaught me to ride à bike, included me in everything yet gave me and my dad the space to have our own relationship as father and daughter. She never imposed herself, she never made the decisions which concerned me, she left that for my dad and mother.

She always talked respectfully of my mother, even when I was mad at my mom. Even when my mom Said mean things about her, Anna never said mean things about her. My relationship with my mother is not good. But I am happy to have Anna in my life.

I see and hear from friends with stepparents how difficult it can be. I read and hear about kids who were ignored because their parent’s new partner didn’t want to them be a part of their lives. I was wondering how I can express my gratitude to Anna for everything she die to me?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

ConsistentCheesecake −  Write her a letter telling her how much she means to you, and how grateful you are for everything she’s done for you.

mechanicalwife −  Little sis, I’m reading this and smiling. How wonderful it is for you BOTH to have each other! I can tell by what you told us, you both love and respect each other. Like others said, what about a letter? Or what about photo album/scrapbook page or something with pictures of both you together? I really think anything you do to thank her will be welcomed with big, loving hugs and lots of them.

You could be silly and MAKE her a sweet, funny card. These are my most loved things. I am a mom to a 12f and 14f. My oldest STILL makes silly pun cards for me. My favorite is a handmade drawing of a mom raisin and a baby raisin. Mom holding the baby raisin in the air with the words “Thanks for RAISIN me, Mom”.

speedycat2014 −  Now that you’re getting older, reciprocate. If there’s something you know she would enjoy doing, make it happen for her. Take her out to a lunch or dinner, just the two of you. Of course, also verbally tell her the things you’ve told us. Or write it in a nice card. It’s clear she loves you like her own child, so just do the same – love her like she’s your own mom.

vitrucid −  Show her this post. Nothing says “I appreciate you” like noticing all the things they do right. Also it’s nice to see a happy question here lol, understandable that it’s mostly problems instead of “I wanna tell this person how great they are” but it’s still nice to see!

oldcreaker −  You did a great job here – just say it to her.

[Reddit User] −  Tl;dr: How to thank my stepmom? Tell her. In writing, if in-person seems too hard. FWIW, my wife is a step-mom to my two kids from my previous marriage. They were older teens when I remarried, so she never had a hand in day-to-day child-rearing, but she otherwise behaved towards them as Anna did to you.

One year, my daughter gave my wife a Mother’s Day card, and had written in it that she felt like she’d gained a second mom (in a good way! 😂). That was short and to the point, and my wife was moved to tears by it. So, don’t worry about writing a novel. Just tell Anna how much you appreciate her steady and loving presence in your life.

mongrelgoddess −  You’re so lucky tk have her, and you sound like a really nice girl too. I’d show her this post and thank her.. Hi Anna, hugs from Brazil 🥰

watermelon_lemonbae −  My stepmom was this person. She was selfless and wonderful and the best person I have ever known. I used to always write her notes and Facebook posts and that always meant the most to her. Acts of love particularly words was her love language. I’d say cater to her love language. I lost my step mom 18 months ago. I miss her so much everyday. Cherish her. She sounds amazing.

Thnks-Fr-The-Mmrs −  Do you have many photos of the two of you together over the years? I think it would be lovely to print a physical photo album, and give it to her with a letter telling her everything you’ve said to us. Let her know that she made a big impact on you during those years that you were growing up with her beside you.

pdperson −  Tell her what you just told us.. Be kind to her.

A strong, loving stepparent relationship is a rare and beautiful thing. What are some heartfelt ways she can show her gratitude to Anna? Have you ever had a special stepparent in your life? Share your thoughts below!