His (36M) girlfriend called me (28F) today
A woman (28F) recently discovered that her boyfriend of over a year (36M) has been hiding a long-term relationship. She was blindsided when his girlfriend of nine years called her, revealing they have a baby together. The caller shared photos as proof, leaving the woman in shock, confused about how he managed to maintain two relationships without raising suspicion. She’s devastated, struggling to process the betrayal and wondering how she’ll ever trust someone again. Read her full story below.
‘ His (36M) girlfriend called me (28F) today’
I’m in complete shock. I’ve (28F) been dating this guy (36M) since October 2023 and we’ve been really happy. I had fallen for him. I got the shock of my life today when I received a phone call from his long term girlfriend of 9 years. I didn’t believe her at first, I thought she had the wrong guy until she sent me a picture of them together.
She said that they have a baby together who is a couple months old. A planned baby. They were thinking of moving in together during COVID lockdown but decided to live separately.
I can’t believe this. I am utterly stunned. The amount of time we spent together and he had a girlfriend? I’m so confused. I was frequently with him, at his place, going out for example for food or at my place.
It hasn’t sunken in yet that this is real life. He was the kindest guy I had ever met, and it was all a lie? He treated me like a princess in the whole one+ year we’ve been together.
My mind is doing somersaults because I still haven’t processed that this is real. How did he find the time? When did he even see her? When? Why? How? What? I had fallen in love with him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I do not even recognize him. There were no signs whatsoever. I’ve cried all day. I’m not sure I could ever trust anyone again. How do I recover from this?
TL;DR My bf of one year has been in a 9 year relationship behind both of our backs. His girlfriend called me today. I am really shocked, hurt and in disbelief.
Check out how the community responded:
9lemonsinabowl9 − Unfortunately, the affair partner gets treated amazingly, while the real relationship is being treated like crap and told she is crazy. I’m very sorry you were hurt this way, you didn’t do anything to deserve. Believe me, he will treat you the way he is treating her.
If you were to become the new “main” within a year or two his patterns will repeat, you’ll have an angry mother to deal with, and a newborn. This can’t be the life you want for yourself.
I would get some therapy to help you deal with your emotions, and help you learn the tools to see the red flags. Take care of yourself and your heart. And please don’t buy the “She’s crazy and she trapped me!” crap.
sweadle − I wonder if you ever met his friends or family? That’s a sign I use if someone is hiding anything. After a year I would expect to have spent a decent amount of time with their friends and have met his family.
That being said, this is not your fault. This is not a reflection of you. He tricked this other woman too, so he is good at hiding things. We think bad people wear it on their faces. Most bad people are experts at hiding it. Please be kind to the girlfriend. She has a child, and has been betrayed much more than you have. She saved you by sharing this info with you.
MiasmAgain − I’m so sorry, and even more sorry for her. She made a baby with that monster. Hugs, stranger. Take all the time you need.
Final_Technology104 − OP, send him the screenshot without any context and then sit back and watch his actions and words. Also, contact baby mama and ask for more screenshots and then dive into her social media “just to verify” that this whole situation is real. Don’t just rely on a phone call and a pic sent to you.. “Trust but verify”.
suis_sans_nom − If you’re that shocked,imagine his gf
Environmental-Age502 − I’m not normally suss on these sorts of things, but who on earth plans to have a baby when you and your partner aren’t living together and he’s regularly not around at all? Is there any other verification you’ve gotten here, beyond a photo of him and this woman together? This one’s wild, I would verify this by showing or sending him the photo of them together and see what you get. The details are too strange to trust this one blindly I think.
love_is_still_alive − OMFG. My mouth is literally on the floor. I’m so sorry this happened to you. To recover from this will take time and some therapy, and even then you might never completely forget it. Your system will obviously remember this one because it wants to protect you. Again, I’m so sorry.
tiffaniffani − Something isn’t adding up here. So she has been in a relationship with him for 9 years, 4 years ago decided not to live together but then 3 years later, decided to become parents together? Either she is lying, we’re missing something or this whole thing is fake
Prestigious-Bar5385 − So they are together but live separately? I wonder if she’s lying about the whole thing. I would show him what she sent and ask if it’s true. See what he says. Could be she’s a jealous ex and they broke up and she’s jealous
CautiousMessage3433 − Oh honey, I’ve been there myself. I have the attitude that if I am not a first choice, I’m out. It hurts, but let him go.
Have you ever found out someone you loved was living a double life? How did you rebuild your trust and heal from the betrayal? Share your thoughts and advice below!