He cheated on me and idk how to move on

A Redditor (19F) found out that her boyfriend (19M) cheated on her with his best friend, and despite his repeated apologies and attempts to win her back, she has ended the relationship. Although she doesn’t hate him, she’s deeply hurt and struggling to move on, especially after seeing him behave normally while she’s devastated.

Despite the emotional turmoil, she knows she can’t go back, but the pain is overwhelming. Read the full story below to hear how this betrayal is affecting her mental health and her journey toward healing.

‘ he cheated on me and idk how to move on’

So, two days ago, my bf (m19) told me he cheated on me with his bsf. i always kinda knew she liked him—i could just feel it—but he always reassured me, saying stuff like, “she’s just like a dude with long hair.” turns out my gut feeling was right.

he said he was drunk, that it didn’t mean anything, but hearing that broke me in ways i can’t even explain. he’s been apologizing nonstop since, acting like the victim, saying things like he wants to die and he’ll never forgive himself. i ended things with him, but he keeps calling me and say that im the love of his life.

i haven’t blocked his number or anything; i guess i didn’t want to stir up even more drama, so i just kinda disappeared. he keeps calling and texting, but i don’t even know what he’s trying to say at this point. even though he hurt me so bad, i don’t hate him.

when i think of him, all i can remember are the good parts of him. i’ve already forgiven him amd i know i have but i also know i can’t talk to him again. i just won’t. still,i thought i’d be able to take all this better than i have, but it’s been breaking me.

i got sent home from college two days in a row now, and i even had a breakdown in front of my whole class. it’s so humiliating, even the dean knows about it now. i think i’m going insane. like, i’m really hurt, and i don’t know what to do. it’s really affecting my mental health, and i’m not okay.

and then today’s my birthday. he texted me, “happy birthday,” and i thought it was sweet of him to remember. but literally the next minute, i saw him on vc in our mutual server, acting totally normal, like he’s not hurting the way i am. But on text, he sounds so sorry and full of regret, but i honestly don’t believe him anymore.

then, this evening, my mom called me to say she saw him last night with two girls. it was almost midnight. hearing that shattered me. it just proves he’s a d**che, and i was so stupid to miss all the red flags. he was always so protective and jealous when it comes to me and constantly saying he didn’t trust me around other guys.

he tried so hard to gatekeep me, but i didn’t mind because i loved him so much i would’ve done anything for him. looking back, i feel like he only kept me around because he was lonely. if he really loved me, he would’ve said no when it came to cheating—drunk or not. being drunk doesn’t force you to do something you don’t want to do.

and now i just hate that i gave so much of myself to him, only for him to throw it all away. the worst part is, he’s the one who told me i should leave him, but when i actually did, he was shocked. i guess he thought i’d stay, like i always did. but this time, i didn’t. now he’s chasing me but i’m done. at least, i think i am.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

ahdrielle −  5 months and already cheating means he’s a s**t person and you’d be in for so much more pain if you stayed.

WinterFront1431 −  He’s not sorry. He sees you as gullible, and he’s using your feelings for him. If he was sorry, he sure as s**t wouldn’t be seen around with other girls. Block him and move on

xCoffee-Addictx −  He’s doesn’t trust you around other guys because he knows he himself can’t be trusted around other girls. I hope you leave now before he does it again later down the road.

Halofriend101 −  Babe, ima hold your hand when I say this, it’s been 5 months. He cheated on you. He is saying all these things because he got caught. Block him and feel your emotions but trust me, you will eventually be fine.

Tepiru −  Being drunk isn’t an excuse to cheat, plus it’s only been five months. It’ll definitely happen again and then he’ll be like it didn’t mean anything because I’m drunk.

But if you’re okay with hurting yourself more in the future, sure, but if not block and get over it so you don’t get hurt. Blocking him will be hard the first few weeks as but you’ll make it alive.

Doughchild −  5 months, love of his life, cheating and trying to get you back? That’s too much BS for that little time. He’s full of it. Five months is still figuring out who you are and at 19, who he is. Everyone is a love of his life. He probably told that dude with long hair the same too.

Gatekeeping, cos he knew what he was up to and just was worried you’d catch on. So what is it you want to happen here? Block him, he’s not really bringing you joy. Also on discord. And go do things that are fun.

As long as you allow him access and entertain his nonsense, you’re not going to do well in school and move on. Get out of this half assed position of maybe. Either forgive and choose for a repeat with a sisterwife and get an STI test or block and get that test.

Blue-eagle-23 −  Go ahead and block or mute him. Stop following him on IG, snap, any place else. That’s the first step in moving on. Does your school have mental health services?

f50c13t1 −  Sorry to hear that you are going through that. When I got cheated on the first time, I was in the same position as you, and had a hard time to let go. I think part of ourselves feels like there’s a chance for things to get better and that they really regret what they did.

Not blocking him is a way to keep the door open as if something would change. The second time I got cheated on, I deleted everything about this person immediately, because I didn’t want the door to remain open this time and it was so much easier to process the grief and slowly rebuild myself.

As others said, this is not acceptable. He is deceiving and lying to you when he is saying that you are the love of his life. Because how can you do that to the love of your life? If you felt that something was going on, he probably also knew it yet preferred to lie to you.

You can ask yourself if it is worth staying in a relationship where your partner lies, deceives, and doesn’t love you, or find your self-respect and use that to rebuild yourself until the day a person will come into your life and they will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.. Best of luck OP, keep us posted!

Corduroytigershark −  You deserve better, and you can definitely find someone better who won’t treat you like this. Block him and focus on your own happiness

DifferentManagement1 −  Hard truth – if he loved you he would not have cheated. He would not have put your relationship at risk, drunk or not. Block him and move on – it’s easier to get over that way.

Betrayal leaves scars that can be hard to heal from, especially when mixed emotions are involved. Do you think it’s possible to truly move on from a relationship like this? How can someone regain trust in themselves after such a painful experience? Share your thoughts and advice below!