Future MIL (54F) called me (23F) stupid and now I’m considering calling off the wedding. How do I approach the situation?

There’s nothing quite like stepping into your future in-laws’ home brimming with excitement, only to feel the energy drain from the room when you hear someone trash-talking you. In one heart-stopping moment, our storyteller discovered her future mother-in-law poking fun at her questions and labeling her “stupid.” To make things worse, her fiancé just went along with it, leaving her stunned and deeply hurt.

Now, she’s wondering: Is she overreacting, or is it time to back out of a marriage with a family who thinks so little of her? Confusion, disappointment, and sadness swirl through her mind—yet she can’t ignore what she overheard. Let’s see how this unexpected turn of events may shape her next steps, and whether it’s possible to rebuild trust after such a painful blow.

‘ Future MIL (54F) called me (23F) stupid and now I’m considering calling off the wedding. How do I approach the situation?’

Family relationships are complex and often filled with unspoken expectations and dynamics. This redditor’s story highlights the pain and confusion that can arise when those unspoken feelings come to light, especially in the context of a serious, committed relationship. It’s a classic case of betrayal, hurt feelings, and the struggle to reconcile conflicting emotions.

The core issue here is the future mother-in-law’s mocking and derogatory comments about the OP, coupled with the fiancé’s passive participation in the laughter. This incident has shattered the OP’s perception of her fiancé’s family and left her questioning the foundation of her relationship.

Family acceptance and support are crucial for healthy relationships. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that positive in-law relationships are associated with greater marital satisfaction and stability. Conversely, strained or hostile in-law relationships can create significant stress and conflict within a marriage.

“In-law relationships can be challenging, but they are an important part of a committed relationship,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship expert and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great. “Open communication, mutual respect, and clear boundaries are essential for navigating these relationships successfully.” Dr. Orbuch also emphasizes the importance of spousal support and presenting a united front when dealing with in-law issues.

The OP’s decision to withdraw from her fiancé and his family is understandable, given the hurt and betrayal she experienced. It’s important to take time to process her emotions and decide how she wants to proceed.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Before we dive into all the heated emotions and candid reflections, here’s the original story that’s sparked this intense debate:

Ultimately, overhearing your future in-laws call you “stupid” can be a jarring wake-up call about what acceptance really looks like. Can genuine apologies and earnest communication bridge the gap, or is this a red flag too big to ignore? What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?

For those who want to read the sequel: UPDATE: Future MIL (54F) Called Me (23F) Stupid And Now I’m Considering Calling Off The Wedding. How Do I Approach The Situation?