FINAL UPDATE: AITAH for hating my wife’s creepy “hobby project”?
First, please read my original post:Â https://aita.pics/souRW
And 2nd update:Â https://aita.pics/ENKig
It’s been months since last update. Sorry, I’ve been busy. Long story short: my wife is in a mental health facility.
‘ FINAL UPDATE: AITAH for hating my wife’s creepy “hobby project”?’
After what had happened previously, I did not speak to my wife for a while. I tried to stay working or out of the house as often as I could. Well, a few weeks passed and time made it seem like less and less of a big deal. Finally my wife offered to take me out to a very nice dinner to make things up to me.
She told me everything was behind her and while I was avoiding her she had actually started online therapy to get help and realized now what she did was wrong. I really believed her and we had a great night. One thing led to another that night and… yea lol.
It took about 2 days after that for her to get a pregnancy test and she texted me the positive result. Yeah, I know some of you already think I’m an f\*cking m**on but it had been a rough year and this made me really happy. I started getting very excited. We started talking about turning my home office to a baby room, looking up ways to prepare, booking appointments, planning a shower, etc. A really fun but whirlwind week.
Unfortunately she told me the first ultrasound was at a time I had to be at work and she would have to go alone. really bummed me out and I asked her to reschedule but she said it was the only availability. Well that next week she went and I waiting for an update or pictures or anything. Nothing. She came home and was super quiet and I flipped out and got super worried that the worst had happened.
I told her I understood she was probably in a lot of pain about something but she had to tell me. She finallly admitted no, it wasn’t a miscarriage. But she was actually pregnant for longer than she thought, longer than the last time we did it… she actually got pregnant during the time I was avoiding her.
Obviously I was so mad and upset and I couldn’t understand why she would do this to me, but then I realized all the signs were there for so long and all the comments telling me she was probably cheating was right. But I tried to keep a clear head for at least a second because I really love my wife and I couldn’t believe it. I asked her who it could have been and she actually said she didn’t know.
She said she hadn’t done it with anyone during the time I was avoiding her. She swore it and also didn’t know what this meant. I thought about it and realized if she was really pregnant for that long, her tummy should be showing and it wasn’t. I decided to call the place and ask them to confirm what they said. My wife told me it would be a waste of time and she promised she heard them clearly, so I didn’t do it that night.
But I couldn’t sleep that night without hearing it from the doctors myself. I called the clinic she told me she went to the day before in the morning and asked them to confirm the results. They told me soemthing worse than I expected. She had no visit, she was never there. I didn’t understand that at all.
Before I talked to my wife again I did what I should have done in the first place and reverse image searched the pregnancy test image. Yeah it was on google from a random years old facebook post. I was again really mad at my wife and couldn’t believe she would put me through all this.
I confronted her about the picture and that I called the place and there was no appointment. I told her she had a pattern of lying and this was probably the end of our relationship. But she responded in a way i didn’t expect. She burst into tears and went manic (which I did expect) but THEN said that she really had cheated on me and really was pregnant and that I had made this up in my head because I couldn’t face what she did to me.
She said she felt like “the devil and hitler” and started sobbing and literally screaming at the top of her lungs. She locked herself in the bathroom and told me she was going to kill herself over what she did to me. I couldn’t get the door open and freaked out. I called the cops and they broke the door down. She was not hurt but she was really out of it.
They took her to get a mental evaluation and she told them everything there. She even started mixing in stuff about the board and how she knew everyone around her was a c**ater so she had done the same because she was in an evil place. She promised them she was pregnant but she didn’t know who the father was.
They tested her while in custody and no pregnancy at all. They told me she was likely suffering from a form of schizophrenia and actually genuinely beleived that she was saying, and likely always had to some level, but it seemed to be getting worse. They said she had a symptom called “Self accusation” and needed help.
Well I got her in a facility last week and she is safe. They are making a little progress, I do not think she thinks she is pregnant anymore. I have visted a few times but she is very withdrawn with me and says she feels too guilty to look me in the eye.
I think there was definitely meddling at certain parts like planting evidence, but now I just feel terrible I did not get her the help she needed when all the real signs were there. I hope her medication starts to help and she can be normal again. And yeah, the neighborhood gossip is having a field day with all this. Anyway thanks for listening. I hope this is my last update. Thanks for all the help.
EDIT: My wife has been to the clinic before and I am an authorized contact. I can ask about her appointments. Also, local area so I know the front desk lady. She was as confused as I was when she saw there were no appts scheduled and no record of her going. Why don’t all you losers shove a fork up your ass and twist it. Also, never responding to comments and honestly debating adding this edit. F\*ck off kindly, or unkindly.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Comfortable-Focus123 − She was probably suffering from mental illness for a while. The recovery will be a long process. I have been through something similar as this, and finally divorced years after. I wish you luck, and advise you to get some counseling yourself to learn how to deal with this. Good luck.
Lucky-Effective-1564 − I read your previous posts – that really escalated! Take some time for yourself.
rantingathome − I was really liking the story and the twists, until you said that you called a medical facility and they claimed that your wife had never been there. Confirming or denying anything about another person’s medical history, including whether or not they were a patient or not, would be illegal in a ton of countries.. Took me right out of it.
*edit: to everyone that is saying, “I signed a form for my spouse to access my records”. Why would she name a clinic that he has that access to records at? If you’re telling such a lie, you would choose another place.*
DankyMcJangles − So sorry you all are going through this. Glad she’s getting help. Was there ever an update on the neighbors? Did they get things resolved positively?
Contribution4afriend − Don’t forget to still go through the divorce. Sorry for your soon to be ex but you should be able to live a healthier relationship.
tribalgeek − Good luck man.
ninjastarkid − NTA, don’t beat yourself up OP. It’s not always an easy thing to identify and/or accept. Especially with loved ones. No one wants to think their loved one is having some sort of mental health crisis. So they will see any other option as the truth over the actual truth. That doesn’t make you a bad person, it just makes you human. Honestly I think you have incredible patience to stick with her despite everything. I hope all the best to you and your wife, and a speedy recovery for all involved.
JuliaX1984 − I know it’s a running joke now how little some men know about female anatomy, but is it possible for an otherwise normal, sane, non-incel guy to think you can get a positive pregnancy test 2 days after having s**? If not, no need to question anything else. Probably doesn’t matter, since the clinic in the story blatantly violated HIPAA.
GrandmaToto − This is obviously fake, I actually stopped reading as soon as you started mentioning an Ultrasound. She was testing positive after two days? Your last post was 2 months ago, you’ve managed to spend weeks apart, get back together, get pregnant and have a SCAN in TWO MONTHS?! Nah, YTA for posting your updates too quickly 😅
Underdogwood − Schizophrenia, like most nebtal health disorders, has a spectrum. Just because some commenter’s had experiences with schizophrenic that couldn’t be cured does NOT mean that this will be the case for your wife. This is not her fault any more than it’s your fault.
If you love her and take your vows seriously, you owe it to her to hang in there for at least a few months to see how her treatment progresses. Obviously if she is not getting better, you may need to reevaluate. However, leaving her now while she is on such a vulnerable & liminal state would be nothing short of cruel.