Discovered a Credit Card in My Name?

A person recently discovered an active credit card in their name that they never opened. Upon investigation, it was revealed that their parents had been using it for household expenses. The person confronted their parents, who claimed that they “benefited” from the charges, but this explanation didn’t make sense.

Now, the person is considering how to handle the situation, including whether to dispute the charges or close the account. They feel betrayed and are determined to distance themselves from their family, even planning to move out of state to gain separation. Read the original story below to learn more.

For those who want to read the previous part: Part 1: https://aita.pics/VBwxg

Part 2: https://aita.pics/ZJvIu

‘ Discovered a Credit Card in My Name?’

I didn’t expect it to turn into a bigger mess. After deciding not to co-sign the mortgage for my sister, I started taking extra precautions with my finances locking down my credit, pulling my full credit reports, like you all suggested. I wanted to be absolutely sure no one could use my information without me knowing.

That’s when I stumbled on an active credit card I didn’t open. Some of you guys warned me and I guess I wasn’t fast enough to lock down. It’s been around for a couple of years now.. It was being using but I’m assuming my parents wanted to keep it from me with the intention of using it as leverage. As of YESTERDAY, the statements show purchases that look a lot like household expenses.

The billing address on file points right back to my parents’ home. I confronted them, via text, because I’m currently a couple hours away with a close friend. They claimed I “benefited” from these expenses, which doesn’t make much sense like how did because they never helped me with setting up my own apartment.

Also, it explains why they assumed I’d be okay with co-signing: turns out they’ve been using my credit for a while. Needless to say, I feel completely betrayed. This wasn’t some tiny oversight my parents have been quietly using my name to fund their expenses.

Now I’m talking to a professional to figure out whether I should dispute the charges or close the account outright (without tanking my own credit in the process). It’s nerve-wracking realizing how they went behind my back even before this mortgage BS. At this point, I’m even more determined to move out of state to get distance from all this.

My job is thankfully remote-friendly, so relocating won’t wreck my career. My friends have been amazing, offering support so I don’t completely lose my mind. If it weren’t for them, I’d be a mess right now. I’m not trying to be vindictive or over-dramatic I just need to protect myself. The trust is gone, and I don’t see how I can maintain a healthy relationship with people who thought this was okay.

It’s sad, and I wish it didn’t come to this, but I’ve got to prioritize my own future. I’ll let you know if anything else major happens, but for now I’m focused on fully separating my finances from my family, getting ready to move, and making sure I don’t pay the price (credit-wise) for something I never agreed to. It’s scary, but I’m hoping it’ll be worth it to finally have a life and a credit score of my own.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

sfrancisch5842 −  Well. If They opened credit in your name, that is considered identity theft. You should file a police report. Let the chips fall where they may.

awaywethrowLA −  Hang in there. Don’t forget to check with ChexSystem to make sure they haven’t used your name to sign leases and utilities that won’t show up in a regular Credit Bureau check.

ChanceKnowledge1222 −  If there is debt left on the card then you should contest that with the cc company. You want that debt to come off your credit rating. This also reads like identity theft. You have grounds for reporting your parents to authorities.

mtngrl60 −  As someone old enough to be your grandma, I just wanna tell you how sorry I am. You are going through this. And you are right, we see this nonsense all the time on Reddit. It makes me angry at the crappy parents, and it breaks my heart that they could do this to their kids. The bottom line is that you need to report this as identity theft. And you need to not wait to do so.

I understand that these are your parents, but they’re not acting like parents. Our family, whether we are adopted or not, is supposed to consist of the people that want the best for us always. The people who have our backs and support us. The people who love us unconditionally. Apparently, your parents and their families all missed this life lesson.

Apparently they were taught that it’s OK to impose and manipulate and guilt and use and abuse certain family members… And again, I know you’re adopted, but there are families who do this nonsense to their own biological children as well. it is honestly just a moral failing on their part. But my point is that it is a double betrayal when does this to you.

If this a stranger or a coworker, you wouldn’t even have a second thought about reporting it. So a double betrayal like this from family means that you shouldn’t even have a first thought about reporting this to the police. The reason you ought to report it is that you then dispute it with the credit bureau. You will need to attach a copy of your police report.

When you do this, the credit bureau will take it from there and contact the creditor, and that account usually comes right off of your credit report, with no adverse consequences. Personally, if you don’t have all this from your mom in text form, I would actually send her a text, saying something along the lines of…

“I can’t believe that you opened a credit card in my name without my permission and certainly never telling me, and that you have been using it for all of your expenses. You did not ever help me set up my apartment. You didn’t help me with school. And then you tried to plan on me cosigning for a house for my sister who is still in school and has really no means of support.

You literally put an offer on a house figuring you would use my credit again. I am really hurt, and I’m gonna take a little break.” No, you and I both know it’s not gonna be a little break. But she doesn’t need to know that. Because people like this often just have to reply. Do not pick up a phone call if she tries to call you. Don’t pick up for anyone in the family. You make them leave you a voicemail or send you a text.

And that is because people like this just have to justify themselves. She is going to basically acknowledge what she did and try to justify it for you. And there you have your proof for the police that you knew nothing about this. The reason you do all of this ASAP is that if you delay once you have found out that your identity has been stolen, you can’t come back later and do all of this.

Because the way it is looked at is that you knew and did nothing. So you gave tacit approval For what your parents did. Because it is looked at like… If you were upset and didn’t approve this, and didn’t want it to happen, you would’ve reported it. If you choose not to, then you have in essence, through your in action, approved their use of your credit.

So you need to take action now. And yes, the cops will go talk to them. They may arrest them. They may not. They probably won’t go to jail… Although they could, if they have other issues that you don’t even know about the DA may not even press charges, or they make community service. But none of that is your problem.

The final thing I’m going to tell you is that you have better start making sure you don’t have any utility bills or phone bills or anything else in your name. I am totally willing to bet that you have some sort of utility in your name for their house.

Or Netflix. Or Disney+. Or cellphones. Remember, utilities don’t report to the credit bureau. And if you do find you have other things opened in your name, as I suspect, you will, be sure to report that to the police as well

justmeandmycoop −  File a police report to protect yourself.

manicfish −  File a police report NOW. you’re not liable for any of this, and can get it wiped through the courts, but the first step is reporting the identity theft.

Sea_Roof3637 −  That’s fraud and identity theft, call the police.

LabAdministrative530 −  I would report it. If your parents find out you didn’t, they’ll keep doing it. A long time ago my MIL opened an account with comcast under my husband’s name because she couldn’t, she had owed them over 800$. We immediately shut it down. I think your parents are pushing your limits.

Agoraphobe961 −  File a police report, if it’s their first offense they likely won’t get more than a stern warning from police/prosecutors but will make them realize you will not tolerate their bs anymore.

teresajs −  Immediately file a police report.  Tell the police that the address for the account is your parents’ address. Give a copy of the police report to the credit card company and have them close the account as fraudulent. Once again, tell them that your parents appear to be the ones who fraudulently opened this account.

You shouldn’t be held responsible for this account at all as long as you give immediate notice and get the police report. The police may file identity theft charges, but that doesn’t have anything to do with you personally.

It’s heartbreaking when family crosses personal boundaries, especially regarding something as sensitive as finances. Protecting your future and your credit is a necessary step, even if it means distancing yourself from those you thought you could trust. Have you ever had to take similar steps to protect your independence? Share your thoughts below.